I really need to get this off my chest

I've been in that spot before when I was younger and lost weight. It made me so uncomfortable I ending up gaining weight to cover things up. Now I've got my eyes wide open and hopefully you do to. People can be so heartless to obesity. 

I think that on the heels of the Woman's March my daughter and I went to this weekend, that I'm really aware of all the ways women are marginalized, because there are still men out there that consider us something to look at First, and our mental capabilities, Second.

(I know that none of the men here are like that, they also probably go through this in many ways)

Everything you've said is so true and thought-provoking.  One of the things that ****** me off is that men can get fairly obese before it affects them at work, but with women it starts as soon as there is a little "chubbiness".  A man has to get to the sweating/heavy breathing point.

OMGosh, this and all more!! I so hear and understand you. Guys actually open doors for me now, when I was fat they never even acted like they noticed I was there. I am in the medical field, talk about a good old boy system - this is the elite entitled good ole boy system. I go from feeling happy to angry and then back and forth depending on who it is and what they say. Quite a conundrum isn't it?

hugs

Ceci

Girl, I feel ya!! I think it's all part of this process. An unfortunate side to it. Hugs!

Your post really hit home, Pammie.  I can totally relate to how you are feeling.  It is wild how weight has such a bearing on how people treat us.  Every day I feel and experience examples of this.  In a prior post I mentioned that people are so much kinder to me now, in person that is. I feel it big time. Men opening doors; people apologizing for getting in my way when I am shopping; more looks from men; some women, hate to say it, not so much they seem ruder and less tolerable (jealous), etc. Yes, I too get pissed off but then I turn it around and hold my head high; pat myself on the back; and, continue being the same person I always was:  compassionate, kind, positive, and upbeat, oh yeah, and a little thinner. Life is good. Continue being you!

I get every bit of this!  I have felt all of it!  Discomfort at knowing people are looking at my body.  A sense of pride on my choice and accomplishment.  Anger to realize so acutely how much fat bias there is, and how even people I consider friends have it.  Hopeful that, free of that bias, my dreams might be more accessible.  Etc etc.

I know that as I lost the weight my attitude changed. My body language changed. 

I look at people now. Not pass them.  I have no problem meeting their stares without wondering if they are judging me because of my weight. 

Since I am now normal to skinny - I had experienced rude comments from MO or just overweight people...I no longer try to look at or smile to "bigger person" unless I can clearly see they are "friendly". Why? Because I was accused, in a not very nice way, of making fun of , of laughing at... Comments like "what are you laughing at, *****" shocked me a few times.   

Like with everything- there is often more than we used to see...

Pam I totally get what your saying. The mixed feelings and emotions. We're the same people we were before surgery. I am working on not being embarrassed by compliments. I feel blessed to have the support of this group. Keep on being your beautiful self Pam. 

Thanks :)