It's been a long time, food is still the enemy. *new pic*

i visited WDW in December as a whirlwind 3 day 4 park Christmas celebration and when I was recently looking at the pictures with my husband he burst out laughing at this one. Why because I purposely bought a frozen themed treat to pose for a pic with made from candy and marshmallows I dislike. I still to this day nearly 12 years after wls don't trust myself with candy. I guess because keeping my diabetes at bay yet still loving milk chocolate means I have to always find the right balance so I don't feel denied but I don't gain weight or screw up my blood sugar. It's still not always easy to constantly deny yourself things you like because you know they will either make you instantly sick, have RH, or just add unwanted calories. At age 52 every calorie counts, I have to keep them low to stay at goal. The picture made me think of all the support I received here over the years and I hope everyone has a continued successful journey.

Cute picture and the treat is perfect.  I get up every day and remind myself that I am on a life-long diet and every calorie counts.

I do too but this reminded me that I still don't trust I would eat all of something if I got something I actually liked so instead I bought the white chocolate dipped marshmallows, two things that I can go ehhh too. I took one bite after the pic and tossed the rest. I typically try to get a singular cake ball or something smaller that I could eat but everything was covered in granular sugar, something that even one bite would make me sick. It's amazing the things that I just really can't eat anymore without queasy, sick stomach or rapid heart rate. Depending on the time of the month the RH is very bad if I even have anything that is a carb including protein bars. Because I am at that perimenopause time the hormones are just extreme as is my bodies reactions to food. Maybe someday it will settle down.

It's good to see you, hope you are well.

The first time tasting white chocolate was one of the biggest disappointments of my life.  Whatever that stuff is, it is not chocolate.

I totally agree, I hate it and dark chocolate too only like milk chocolate. When I was a kid before my mother became diabetic she only liked white chocolate, that was one of the ways they knew something was wrong she started craving milk chocolate and was eating like two candy bars a day losing weight. She got diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic when I was seven, she was 32. She didn't quite make it 30 years with that horrific disease, she was very brittle, crashed really hard, hospitalized so many times, my entire childhood is littered with memories of my mother's epic blood sugar crashes. I have one memory near the end of her crashing, I could hear it in the sing sing nature of her voice, I begged her to eat candy as I grabbed my son and called 911 as I knew I couldn't get there in time. She said she had a lemon gumdrop. I said eat it, this is the era before cell phones so I had to hang up and go. I got there as the paramedics were bringing her back around, I looked all around for the lemon gum drop wrapper and I couldn't find it, what I did find was one of those adult coloring pictures and colored pencils, with one labeled lemon gum drop. She died a few weeks later before she finished the picture with teddy bears, it was on the table when I went to her house and found her dead, she was 61. That is why keeping diabetes away is so important, my mother went through so much and put me through so much with the terrible crashes, she was in a major car accident the day after my grandfather died because she her blood sugar crashed and blacked out. I begged the police to take her license away but they wouldn't. She could never walk again unaided but was determined to drive. Seriously it's amazing I am alive with the stess my mother put me through, I lived on pins and needles knowing one day I would get that call she was dead. But I never did, I had to go to her house when I couldn't reach her, I knew she might be dead. I mentally prepped as I drove but really how can you. When she didn't answer the door I got thr neighbor to call 911 and waited in horror for them to come find her. I have never had a more out of body experience as I did standing on the deck and having the paramedic come out and say she was gone. My last remaining connection to my mom was her dog Shelby. My ex husband and his wife adopted her because I worked long hours and wouldn't be there for her. She just died the day before new year. Okay **** that was all morbid. It will be 15 years this year my mom is gone, I had wls on 4/5/05, so I get to celebrate my rebirth day and then on on 4/10 I get to celebrate that ******g death day anniversary. My mother would have been so happy to see me lose weight too, she hated I was fat, she was ashamed, no one in our family was fat except me. Being fat was for ugly girls my grandfather told me, that I was wasting my pretty face. That really helped my self esteem. Ugh okay enough or I will make myself cry. Have a good night.

That was a sad story.  Diabetes today does not have to be what your mom went through.  I have lived with it for 30 years and done everything possible to control it, including gastric bypass surgery.

With improved meters, insulin pumps, A1C testing, and better medications, good blood sugar control is possible.  My mother is 94 and was diagnosed at 61.  I believe she may have had it much longer, as she did not see any doctor for more than 20 years.  She applied for a job and had to do a physical and that is when she was diagnosed.

There are probably a lot of undiagnosed people walking around with it that don't know.  The best way to avoid it is to keep your diet and  weight under control.

My mom was a pretty rare case, even after her car accident and her weeks in the hospital and then a rehab center none of them could stop the crashes, even when they were completely regulating her food and medicine. She could go from 300 to no numbers on her monitor in minutes, it was crazy, I would get mad at her and say why don't you just eat you have to feel it happening. I could just look at her eyes and know, or her face as she would get so sweaty, or the childlike voice was a dead giveaway but for her the time between the crashing starting and cognitive thought ending was too fast. She was able to catch herself lots of times but lots she couldn't. The paramedics all knew her, she was combative when they were bringing her around. It was embarassing the things she said to them, but once she was back to normal she was so apologetic and as sweet as pie they never held a grudge. I mean she would literally be telling them to gfy and punching, trying to scratch etc. it was bad. She went to the Joslin clinic to try to get a pump but they refused her, she didn't meet their criteria. She went to so many doctors to try to make all this better. And she didn't actually die during a crash she developed heart failure, she went to three doctors in the days before she died and they all passed the buck from one to another. She went to her cardiologist the day before she died of heart failure and a pulmonary specialist the day she died, no one sent her to the hospital, they kept telling her she developed asthma and it was a breathing problem. So basically she died within hours of the last Doctor appt. I went to her house the next morning and found her dead with the lab orders from her cardiologist sitting on the table to get a chest X-ray and come back in a year. Omfg! Seriously. The pulmonary doctor said it was bronchitis and emphysema and gave her another inhaler. She ******g went home and dropped dead. Her financial planner suggested I go after them for malpractice but I couldn't. I didn't want blood money. It all just made me sick. I sold my moms house when I got married in 2015 and moved to San Diego, I really couldn't be there anymore, everything about Connecticut was bad for me, it was like I was living only for my son and to please a bunch of dead relatives. I went back twice. I saw my moms house. I cried. It all still makes me cry. But I have a completely new life now with someone who loves me and now he is having a medical crisis with a fib and cardio ablation, I swear I just hate hospitals and sitting waiting. But so far so good on his recovery. He's truly my hero!

Wow, my boyfriend is going through the same thing as far as a fib and waiting on another ablation.  His heart has been out of sync for over a month and he is having his 3rd cardioversion in order to get back in sync so he can have the ablation. 

I hope your husband continues to do good.

My husband did two cardioversions, both going right back to chronic a fib within a day, so he started down the cardio ablation path and got lucky to get an appt with a world renown Doctor within a month and was scheduled to have the procedure the next week. It was a scary five hours waiting for it to be done. He is still waiting on the scar to form, he foes slip in and out of a fib still, but before he was never slipping back to normal only chronic a fib that caused him physical issues. He should know within 3 months if he needs it again or not. He's been on so many medicines for blood pressure and now his heart just because he was never instructed to follow up on the c pap, everything was going great and then he started getting dizzy and lightheaded, they tested his for everything, this went in for months until finally I kept asking why he didn't just try his cpap again, he didn't want to use it and disturb me.  I said a dead husband might disturb me a little more. He went back to his primary and then finally got a follow up sleep study all to find he really needed the machine but by this point the a fib was chronic. It's been really terrible for him living with this do long, he has a very high stress job for the DoD and to have his heart rate and pulse crazy like that is just so unhealthy.

Good luck to your boyfriend.

I'm sorry you had a tough childhood, Heidi. I hope for the most part, you have made some sort of peace with it. 

Good seeing you here. I hope all is well!!

PS Love the shirt. I found it on clearance the other day (I love a good bargain).