What's on your Menu today (Monday) RNYers?
Good morning menu friends. Let me start by saying the cookies and popcorn are KILLING me. Most days I've stayed within a reasonable range, but last week only lost 0.2 pounds. I can do this. I can be strong. Carbs are the devil.
QOTD: a few times...once for dehydration with lap band. Once for a car accident, was stat-flighted that time. A few broken bones and a bad concussion--bought me a couple of nights in the hospital. Once for back pain--it was so bad I almost couldn't walk. I'm so glad I've lost weight just because of the back pain.
B- tea with sf creamer, 3 oz deli ham
L- can of tuna with slice of melted cheese
S- 2 oz deli turkey
D- 4 oz chicken, spaghetti sauce, slice or provolone
totals- Cal- 670; protein-94; carbs-34; fat-32
Consult Weight:276/Surgery Day Weight: 241.6 /Goal Weight: 150
Good morning and happy Monday (grrrr). It was a good weekend here. My normal exercise on Saturday morning then our firm's holiday party on Saturday night. Yesterday, I skipped the gym and slept in instead, ran some errands then went to the movies with my brother and sister in law. An observation from this weekend. I'm amazed time and time again how this whole process was harder mentally than physically (at least for me). I don't deal with many food cravings, stay on plan and live. However, the mental side is another story. I most definitely still have the "fat girl" mentality. I'm convinced that people are going to be staring and giggling as I walk by, or that my shoes will not be able to bear my weight and I'm going to slip and fall because, you know, it's hard to wear heels when you're a fat girl. As I was getting ready for the holiday party I went into full on melt down. I hated everything . . . my hair, my dress, my arms in my dress . . . I was convinced I was going to break an ankle and end up at the ER (then I would have had a current story for DQOTD). But none of that happened . . . sure I still dislike the way my arms looked in my dress, but no one laughed at the big girl trying to look nice in a fancy dress or balance 200+lbs on toothpick heels. I didn't slip and fall, but was able to dance the entire night and still walk to the valet in the shoes I wore at the beginning of the night. Life is infinitely better now and I just need to learn to accept the new me.
DQOTD: I've been to the ER a few times. Once prior to surgery I thought I had a torn retina. Turns out my blood pressure had spiked to something like 255/180 (yes stroke territory). I remember being in the intake area and one of the nurses was taking my BP and alarm bells were going off. She couldn't believe how high it was and went and got a different machine. When it was still as high, she called into one of the doctors and his response was "why the F* is she still back there. Get her in a bed NOW!" The most recent time was for an ingrown toenail. Yep, ER for that. They had to give me shots in the toe and then cut the nail out. That was fun because I had court the next morning and wasn't sure if I'd be able to get a shoe on.
My plan:
B: It was going to be either sliced roast beef or sliced turkey, but a co worker brought in homemade tamales and I had a "what the hell" moment. So breakfast was a beef tamale. It was delicious and worth ever single damned calorie and carb.
L: Meatloaf
D: NY Strip steak, broccoli
S: Skinny latte, turkey breast
Totals: Cal. 787; Protein: 76g; Fat: 22g; carbs: 61g (yikes)
I know it's not photo friday, but I'm attaching a photo from the holiday party as well as my toe after my ER toenailectomy!
stacy sometimes I swear you are writing down in your post the thoughts in my head!!! I sooooooooooo can relate to everything you are saying, EVERYTHING. We were out last night for dinner at my husband's Aunt & Uncles house, lots of cousins there and they wanted to get a big family picture of everyone on the sectional couch and there was a lot of us so most of the wives were sitting on their husbands laps to make room for all the people. I legit had a mini panic attack, in my head I was the almost 275 lbs girl and there was NO WAY I am trying to sit on my husbands lap. 1. I will crush him. 2. I will block him with the sheer size of my body 3. why do I think like this and automatically go to Fat Daisy brain???? I told the person taking the picture that I would just sit out and of course the whole family yelled at me but I totally get what you mean. And you know I still am amazed I can go to a wedding, and be in high heels all day, at the Church, at the photos and dance all night and not break both ankles because like you said I am trying to balance this huge body on tiny toothpick size stiletto heels. I am 3 yrs post op and I seriously feel the same way you do, will I ever see thin/small, will my mind & body ever catch up to each other? Personal opinion I don't think so, but just wanted you to know you are not alone in this... not at all.
And WOWZERS, THAT DRESS!!!!!!!! THOSE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Killing it Stacy, you look phenomenal!!
And OMG on the high BP, that is super scary! And your poor toe!!! Holy crap!!! It seriously looks painful!! My feet were never pretty even before surgery, and now that I am a runner they are just down right UGH!! I prefer my feet in running shoes versus out, it ain't pretty, even with a pedi you can't make those puppies look good LOL LOL
Daisy, Emily and everyone else. This post is the reason I come here. I know I can tell you all exactly how I feel and you will understand. I always worry when I say things like this to non WLS friends that they will think I'm fishing for a compliment. It's not that at all. I'm legitimately uncomfortable with myself and struggle hard with how I appear to the outside world. When I call myself the "fat girl" it's because that's really how I still see myself. I'm not saying it because I want people fawning over me and telling me I'm not fat. It's really bad with people at work. They never knew me as the "fat girl" so to them I seem INSANE when I comment that my stomach is particularly "poochy" or about different food choices. I agree with you, I don't know that I'll ever see myself as a "thin" person and the truth is, I'm still in the overweight category and may never get to thin. What I do know, however, is that my life is infinitely better than it was 2 years 7 months ago. Thank you all for understanding my craziness. I truly truly appreciate it.
