Negative comments...
Keep in mind you may lose relationships over this and some do. I kept my details to myself and only told very close people only. It is frankly none of their business.
this decision is your own -be strong about it. If you are certain, tell your friend that this is the deal and she can either support you or be on her way. mentally you will need to be prepared for all of the scenarios and questions you will get.
you also might find you don't spend time with the same people after as before. Drinking.eating buddies may not want to spend time with you or vice versa.
HW 305 SW 278 Surgery weight 225 GW 160 LW: 118.8
RNY 12/15/2015,
GB removal 09/2016,
Twisted bowel/hernia repair 08/2017
M1 Dec 2015-13.0, M2-7.0, M3-14.5, M4-9.4, M5-7.1, M6 9.8, M7-7.6 ,M8- 7.6, M-9 5.5, M10-6.4, M11- 2.2, M12 Dec 2016- 5.8
Hello everyone....
I have never been a fan of the word OBESE...
I have always hated seeing it on medical reports and referral letters from my specialists that I have seen.
I especially find it hard when I am asked if I have thought about losing weight.
When you are over weight? You are constantly thinking about losing weight. I could think of many reasons of why I want to lose weight.
I have not made the decision to have gastric bypass surgery lightly. I have spent many years thinking about it.
I have not told too many people that I am having the gastric bypass surgery because I find people try to talk you out of it.
I have told my siblings & 6 of my best friends. I have decided not to tell my mom & mother in law because they are crazy worriers and quite honestly I don't want them to try and talk me out of it.
I have been reluctant to tell one of my best friends who lives aross the street. She has been against the RNY. I have continued my journey. I haven't felt comfortable keeping my surgery from her. So today I decided to tell her and as expected, she tried to get me to cancel the surgery.
She went on about how I can do this without the surgery.
She went on and on about all the things that could go wrong. 
Told me that I was taking the easy way out. I quickly told her that there is nothing easy about having gastric bypass surgery and that I have decided to move forward.
I am disappointed and frustrated... I hate that I have to lie to my mother & mother-in-law... They were a disaster when I went in for ankle surgery. They behaved like I was going in for open heart surgery. So I have decided to tell them that I am having bladder surgery until after the surgery. I will then come clean when I am at home. They are a huge support system and I am not proud of the little white lie.
BUT now I am finding that my friend put the seeds of doubt in my mind. Finding myself stressed and anxious...
What are your thoughts ??? 
28 days for my RNY....
Mahalo
is she going to wash her clothes and dishes by hand for the rest of her life?
walk everywhere instead of drive her car?
clothes and dish washers and cars are tools to make things easier to do. So is wls. It is a tool to make losing weight and keeping it off easier for us.
does she help you make all your medical decisions? Deciding to have weight loss surgery is a medical decision.
could there be some reason she needs you to stay fat? Are you her token "fat"friend?
Nobody's business other than yours. Honestly, in the wise words of Dr Phil 
"you teach people how to treat you". Feel free to tell people if you want, but let them know you are NOT inviting their opinions, just letting them know.
Anyone who knows me knows not to give an opinion, unless I ask for it.
Posting on a forum is the only exception. If I post, I expect everyone to have an opinion and don't get upset if people don't agree with me.
Your friends and family should be a safe place, if not, then don't discuss anything with them. Mine learned very quickly that they were out of the loop if they couldn't control their yapper!
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
Mahalo, I can sympathize with you about telling people. I also was very open in stages about getting WLS. It took me about a year from deciding to do the surgery to getting it done so I had a lot of time to really make sure it was the right thing for me by educating myself. That also allowed me to "educate" my family and close friends.
My mom has terrible, untreated anxiety. She was completely against it. I presented all of the data to her and finally told her I was sick of yo-yo dieting from 200 to 250 lbs and needed surgery to correct my bariatric system to more of a normal person. I also explained I wanted to do this before I had an issues like pre-diabetes, high blood pressure and heart conditions like my Dad - who was and is 280 lbs at 6ft.
She came around and was supportive. She's even more supportive now that I'm 3 years post op and healthy (I'm in the overweight BMI at 165 lbs and 5'-6" but 22% body fat and all my numbers are great).
My friends and coworkers I just told as a statement that I was getting or I had gotten VSG surgery to correct my metabolic issues and they just seemed to accept it or keep it to themselves. They are all supportive now.
On the flip side, when I went to get the EKG, I told the tech it was as a preoperative requirement for WLS and she went on the whole time about how it had ruined her brothers life. I had already researched the complications and risks and knew the complication and risk factors for me staying obese far surpassed the surgery risks.
One more note, I was having issues with my stomach for months. My mother was overly anxious about it and just knew it was because of the surgery. It turned out to be a food allergy. It's not clear if it was surgery related and doesn't really matter. However, I can relate to people mentioning that other people assume it's from the surgery. I just remind my mom that I would rather be completely lactose intolerant with a BP of 122/64 than a little lactose intolerant with high blood pressure.
Regarding you mom and mother in law, if they are so worried about surgery in general, ie your foot surgery, you can spring it on them at the last minute or just tell them afterwards and let them know you can't share important decisions with them if they are going to overly worry or try to interfere (that sounded harsh and I didn't mean it to).
Good luck to you and do what's right for you! Only you can make the decision. Don't let flip comments from people that don't really understand the risks and rewards overly influence your decision when studying the real risks and rewards published by the medical community that have the real data.
Heather - Austin, TX
I decided to tell everyone who asked. Had a lot of worried comments from friends and coworkers. I am three months post-op now and my friends and coworkers are now seeing the results of the surgery. They are changing their minds, slowly. If they do not, okay because I now see the results.
Stay committed. Best decision I ever mad for myself. Imjus got oumof the hospital... had a small stroke on Monday. My doctor actually said to me... imagine how bad it could have been had you had another sixty pounds on you...
And best of luck to you.
