Negative comments...
Hi there! Sorry you're dealing with this. I have been very open about my surgery, but avoided telling my grandmother before hand because she has a lot of anxiety issues. So I can relate to that part.
I cant offer much advice with regards to those trying to discourage you, other than to say look at their motivations. If it's out of love and concern, I'd take the time to answer a lot of their questions, and acknowledge their fears, but be clear your decision is firm. If you think they are motivated by jealousy, or worry about losing their fat friend, or fear change in general because of how it affects them, not you, then that's on them.
with regard to your own fears, wls does have risks. Every major surgery does. But I asked my surgeon how those risks stack up against other obesity related surgeries, and it has a lower complication and mortality rate. Also measured against conditions such diabetes, heart attacks, strokes etc we stand a better chance with reduced body weight.
RNY Sept 8, 2016
M1:23, M2 :18, M3 :11, M4 :19, M5: 13, M6: 12, M7: 17, M8: 11, M9: 11.5, M10: 13, M11: 10, M12: 10 M13 : 7.6, M14: 6.9, M15: 6.7
Instagram:InsertFitness
Mahalo, I am sorry that people are not all being supportive. Ultimately, as other posters have said, this is your choice and you are doing it to be healthy.
I took the route of telling everyone, but making it a statement, and not open for discussion. I told my family and friends, and when it came to work, I told everyone I was going to be out for a week because I want to be healthy, and I have decided to have a weight loss procedure. I was very casual about it, and always referred to it as a "procedure" rather than a "surgery" because people seemed to react more positively to that word LOL. I don't know why, but it sounds so much less serious. And honestly, anytime you go under anesthesia, there are risks, but weighing over 300 lbs (my starting weight) was much more risky. I was actually a "healthy" SMO person (I didn't have high blood pressure or bad cholesterol or sleep apnea) but I just told people, "Well, I am healthy but I want to make sure I continue to be healthy, so I am having a procedure to help me lose weight".
And let me tell you, as someone who is three years out from surgery, the first year and a half was easy - I followed the rules, and the weight dropped off. Now that I am in "maintenance", it's the hardest thing I have ever done. So anyone who tells you this is the "easy way out", well I wish I could say I never think about food, I never crave food, I never eat things I shouldn't..but I would be lying. RNY is an amazing tool but you have to put in the hard work, and I have learned that it will be a lifetime of hard work for me.
This is the best thing I have ever done for myself, and I would surely be over 300 lbs to this day had I not had surgery. I hope you can ignore those seeds of doubt and have this life-changing surgery! (And also, on the day of surgery if you are anxious, my doctor gave me some magical stuff in my IV that literally made me understand why heroin addicts lay around on mattresses in pure bliss all day - all anxiety left my body! Ask for some of that stuff LOL!)
My opinion, be cautious who you tell. Once it's told you can't take it back! Others speak and tell others for one thing. The one's who you are not telling due to them worrying is one thing, but remember they will continue to worry even after your surgery! Every time you go through a 'rough' period or health issue they will worry and want to say 'see your surgery was a mistake'. You can't keep them from worrying if they know about the surgery. That being said, once you start to drop weight drastically, they will worry!!! They will worry a LOT!! If you don't tell them you will have to continue to lie so ask yourself now if you are ok with that? I told few people before my surgery. The worriers worried over the weight loss. The one's who I thought would be supportive gave me a lot of negative comments such as 'taking easy way out' and even worse laughed at some regain I have recently had! Trust me these things hurt more than you realize right now!! You DO need supportive people to help you when tough times come and to be your cheer leader!! Just choose them wisely. My opinion. BEST OF LUCK with your new life :)
RNY is a life saver. Even if I had the worst possible rare bad outcome I still know this was the right thing for me to do. I now hope to live a longer healthier life. No regrets.
~E
Consultation weight: 265, Surgery date: 10/6/15, Goal: 150, Current weight: 129; 5'5, 46 years old
"I am basically food's creepy ex-girlfriend. I know we can't be together anymore but I just want to spend time hanging out" ~me, about why I love cooking so much post WLS
on 12/8/16 7:15 am
There will always be doubters. Also Debbie Downers. It is normal to have doubts. I did.
I am so glad I had it. I would not change anything. I am not perfect. I am human. I work daily on my food choices. Also sometimes meal by meal.
It can be a pretty easy surgery. It can also be one that can make life hard. But the outcome for me has given me my life back. I am not a bystander watching life go by. I can walk five miles I can go places and feel better.
I am pretty vane and I don't mind the way I look now. Some days I have to a head check and have mental tune ups with my therapist.
I would keep the surgery to yourself. I would say this is not a topic I wish to talk about right now. It is your body no one else's.
Find support here. Look at the before and after pictures. Imagine yourself doing things you could never do before.
Best wishes to you
