Negative comments...
You can't change how your best friend feels. My husband doesn't want me to have surgery. And here in Ontario the process takes over a year so he keeps hoping I will change my mind and tells me I can lose it on my own. I realize the motivation behind it is concern. He's so afraid that something will happen. He's not really interested in learning about the surgery either. That may be for the best as when he hears about risks he doesn't hear the stars.
I am not going to change his mind. All I can control is my reaction. So I stay positive and firmly tell him I'm going through with it. I can't say he's more supportive but he has accepted that I'm going through with it. It's also made me determined to be successful ?
RNY Jan 12, 2017 Lost 137 lbs but regained 60.
77 lbs lost and counting!
Losing the regain! I got this!
I'm sorry that your friend isn't being supportive. I suspect that at least some of this is because she cares very much about you and is worried. Many people don't realize just how difficult this decision and process are. Truthfully, I was one of those people for many years. For many years, I thought that WLS surgery was for people with no self-control or who wanted the easy way out. I thought it was just for people who ate a lot. For those years, I didn't consider WLS as an option for me because I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want to take the easy way, and I didn't really eat that much (my volume wasn't excessive, but my choices were often poor, especially for someone with a wretched metabolism), so why would I need a smaller stomach? It wasn't until I started really looking at what was involved in WLS and the metabolic implications that I realized that this was EXACTLY what I needed to do.
Thankfully, those around me were nothing but supportive. I told everyone, from family and in-laws to friends and coworkers. When I did talk to them, I was prepared with the research that's been done on WLS and how it helps when other methods fail, especially with those who have crappy metabolisms. My family and in-laws had spent years watching me try everything (no junk food, yoga, personal trainers, gym multiple times a week, Nutrisystem, WW, Adkins, supplements, Hydroxycut, Herbalife, Slim-fast, aerobics, fad diets of all types of crazy) with little or no success. So when I approached them with the RNY as an option and explained the science, they were all for it. My MIL even found a way for us to finance my surgery (my insurance completely excludes anything obesity-related).
If you haven't checked it out already, I recommend the ASMBS website. They have a great section on bariatric surgery misconceptions. I hope that helps.
HW: 408, SW: 384, RNY: 10/11/16
Ultimately this is your life and hopefully you receive the support once the weight comes off and you are able to be healthier than you've ever been before. I told many of my coworkers and family of my upcoming surgery. I can't say anyone actually supported me either, rather quite the opposite. Always heard some horror story or you can do this without surgery. I had done a years worth of research before I approached my doctor with my thoughts and why I wanted the surgery. He was the first person to actually listen and I am grateful to him for that. Once my family and friends said their peace and still saw I was continuing through my journey without their approval they accepted my decision even though they still had concerns.
know that you have these forums and people who understand with no judgements. I am very thankful to have found these forums and can learn and grown from others.
I am only five weeks out and do not regret anything I have gone through. Weight is slowly coming off. My relationship with food has changed and I will continue down this new path looking forward to having my healthy new to me body!
good luck!
Referral: Jan 2016 Orientation: Apr 2016 Nurse/Nutritionist/Physio/Social Worker: Jun 2016 Meet Surgeon Telehealth: Aug 25/16 Meet Surgeon Toronto: Oct 5/16 Surgery Date: Nov 2/16
I handled it differently. I told people that I was taking the easy way out because the hard way just was not working for me. Everyone had seen my struggles to diet.
I also told myself that RNY was going to be easy. For about 99% of the time, it has been easy. I lost all hunger after the surgery. The only time, I have gotten hungry was one day when I went more than eight hours without eating anything during a busy day.
I make sure that I eat snacks every few hours. I drink lots of water and avoid most carbs. I know I will gain the weight back if I allow myself to eat too much food. But having a stomach that can only hold a small meal, having no hunger and getting down to normal weight have made life very much easier.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
