What's on your Menu Today (Wednesday) RNYers?

I like the idea of posting pictures of us that make us feel confident! I can't do it on FB... I don't know why, but I just haven't... but here I can do it (smaller audience, I guess?)

(I've been having this conversation with myself for the past two days... about how 'froggy' I feel.. I think I mean confident, but I'm quirky with myself I guess... or just plain nuts for having this whole brain-versation to begin with!)

For me there is a weird balancing act going on in my brain between wanting to love myself and have a positive body image and feeling like now I am just a ****y stuck up woman a la the kind I hated most of my life when I was MO. Like... for real.  It feels almost unholy to say "I feel pretty" or "I feel beautiful".  Those are big words and seem full of too much pride.  But...for example, I know I want and encourage my daughters to see themselves as beautiful.  For them I can see how healthy it is to have that confidence and feel good in your own skin.  For me... feels *****y.  Then again...how many times have I wanted to punch the throat of a woman who is clearly lovely and slim who demures or says she feels 'fat' or 'ugly.' Weird right? All I know is the struggle is real and the man is keeping me down. Fight the patriarchy! LOL

~E

I'm convinced that, when I'm dressed up, heels, makeup, the whole thing, that while I look in the mirror thinking "oh yes, you look hot!", I'm in all actuality, that chubby girl that wears clothes that are too tight, too fashionable, etc, and you can see all her pudgy lines trying to escape the clothes! (and then I change clothes into something less fitted, more baggy, and safer)

The thing for you my dear is this... you LOOK like that ****y stuck up woman because you are thin, sexy and gorgeous (take my word for it), BUT... and I mean BUT... YOU ARE NOT THAT STUCK UP **** you hate! You are the beautiful person you've always been on the inside, only now you are more physically akin to those *****es, but not mentally. That makes you extra special  The compassion of knowing how just having a great body isn't everything in life gives you an edge of the *****es of the world.

***just never, ever, tell someone how fat you feel while you're donning your newest, smallest, corset* 

Deal! No complaining while in a corset!  

Also...does this make us all sort of like Captain America?  You know...he was weak and small and that taught him humility and courage.  Then he became this badass super hero and he always keeps his humble beginnings in his heart making him the most honorable among humanity?  So like...we are kind of special awesome eh?

I want to wear spandex suit everywhere I go now and declare myself "Rouge RNY - Ninja of Body Positivity"

~E

I found this and liked it... BUT...

THEN I saw this... THAT is a bad ass Captain America Ninja 

Yassss! Number Two!!! Way better. Hehehe

~E

re: thin people saying they feel "fat" or "ugly".....I now sometimes catch myself obsessing over my "fat" butt or my "fat" stomach (usually while looking in a dressing room mirror).  Good Lord.  I have lost over 200 lbs!  What the hell am I obsessing over my "fat" butt about???

I was having a similar conversation with my Assistant this morning, about vanity and if it is good or bad.  Here is my take on the situtation.  I believe that vanity it good.  It is the external expression of how we feel on the inside, and visa versa.  I know I feel better if I like how I look on the outside.  If I don't feel good on the inside, my outside reflects it.  The two are tied together for me.  I never question anyone wanting plastic surgery, injectibles, new clothes or other cosmetic procedures/enhancements.  If you are doing it safely, then more power to you.

I think how we view others about this sort of thing is more a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, as opposed to anything the other person has done.  When I was MO, if I felt resentment about a "skinny *****" is is likely that I was unhappy about my weight and was projecting my unhappiness on the other person.  

Now, having said that, anything can be taken to extremes and then become unhealthy.  I am not talking about those situations, but good old fashioned vanity.  So, feel good about yourself and the physical transformation you have made.  It's you!  Love the new aspect of yourself and nuture it.  You deserve it.

Thanks!  I will keep that in mind. Society tries to make this a catch 22 where if you don't look 'right' people judge you...if you look 'too right' people judge.  I think that what you are suggestion is it really is us judging ourselves that matters. Hmmm...ponder on this I shall.

Stop judging myself. What a notion!

~E

Exactly.  Kindness to ourselves first.  It is only our self judgment that matters.  We can make it harmful or helpful.  Choose helpful.