Sex issues after WL
My Hubby just started laughing maniacally and has no idea why...
That was me in my twenties... I wore myself out! He lost out on that one!
Height 5'5" HW 260 SW 251 CW 141.6 (2/27/18)
RNY 5-16-16 Pre-Op 9lbs, M1-18.5lbs, M2-18.1lbs, M3-14.8lbs, M4-10.4lbs, M5-9.2lbs, M6-7lbs, M7-6.2lbs, M8-8.8lbs,M9-7.8lbs, M10-1 lb, M11-.6lbs, M12-4.4lbs
I'm wondering if anyone else is having a similar issue or if I'm just weird. And if others have experienced this, what they did to fix it.
First, I have to say I'm well into the menopausal process having lost my uterus and one ovary to a giant fibroid tumor about 10 years ago, so that may be part of it. Both my husband and I were hoping, and actually expecting, that as I lost weight and felt better, our cuddling time would increase and improve. Unfortunately, not only has it become physically uncomfortable for me (less "padding" and dry), but my interest in "cuddling" has vanished. I mean poof, nothing.
He's trying to be sensitive to my needs. I'm trying to be sensitive to his. We are both sad.
I'm going to see my surgeon today (One year follow-up!, whoo, hoo!) and will ask for a referral to someone to help us with this problem. We may both be grey on top, but still love each other very much and "cuddling" for us has been a joy for all of our time together. We just don't feel like it is something we should have to give up because we are older. I just want to make sure the surgery didn't contribute to the issue (not that I would undo it... just figuring that if I could figure out how it contributes, I could find a way to compensate).
I would check into bioidentical hormones. They did wonders for me.
I am also using Bezwecken hydration cubes. They are so moisturizing that I can only use 1/4 of a cube.
I'm 50 and my sex drive is higher than when I was a teenager. That might be because I am in a long-distance relationship and only see my bf every 2-3 weeks. We definitely have to make up for lost time 
Laura in Texas
53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)
RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis
brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco
"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."
Ditto here! My now-husband and I only see each other three days a week due to various cir****tances... so we are like crazy bunnies when we are together :)
I will say seriously though, I was in the group that had an explosion in sex drive after losing weight. If you are the opposite, it may be a hormonal thing... and there is no shame in asking a doctor...
Audrey
Highest weight: 340
Surgery weight: 313
Surgery date: 10/24/11
Current weight 170... 170 pounds lost!!!!
I am not a doctor, but I play one at work.
My surgeon said this is not uncommon particularly with women my age. It seems that there is a boatload of estrogen stored in our fat. As the fat disappears, we experience menopause all over again with the hot flashes and such. She said we have been sort of functioning off of that storehouse of estrogen even past when our bodies produced it. With the fat gone, the estrogen is gone and hence the drying of tissues and decreasing libido. She has referred me back to my PCP with the recommendation that HRT be considered. She said this is not contraindicated so long as there are no steroids involved.
So, I'm putting in a call to my primary care doctor for an appointment. Fingers crossed.
Cate K
Northern Neck, VA 5'4" 56 years old
Highest weight 245: 7/1/2015, RNY surgery on October 26th. Had multiple complications and follow up surgeries and stayed in hospital for 24 days. Goal weight is 140.
first of all: thank you for your honest post - your answers mean a lot to me - it is always good not to be alone....
second: I had a severe Vitamin D deficiency - one of the symptoms: less interest in cuddling....
RNY 03/02/2016
In Pounds: HW 296, SW 292, M1:-34, M2:-8, M3:-13, M4:-16, M5:-12, M6:-11, M7:-9, M8:-8, M9:-5, M10:-4
I'm definitely one of the over-"cuddlers" lol but I too got a bit of hot flashes and night sweats . Turns out excercise particularly running is great at ending this . I also found sweating out the stored up toxins really works and makes u feel sexy to boot whether it's hot yoga, sunbathing, a soak in a jetted hot jacuzzi or a steam bath at the gym.
Regarding toys and lubricants : there are cool things in almost every drugstore - a buzzy little rubber ****ring he can put on his penis - a complimentary finger buzzy thing you can put on your finger to play with his taint .. Cherry flavored lubricant - it's all fun. My boyfriend and I started bringing home this stuff just to have fun and we basically hardly used it but it really helped unlock a great sex and intimate life . I went from feeling very unattractive and self conscious sexually because of my weight to enjoying and even needing to cuddle naked at night and enjoying his looking at me in the baths we take together or in the morning.
It's a whole new world out there ... And it's fun sexy and hot ! ( cute pajamas also help ! )
i will second that it might be a hormonal issue - trying testosterone or bioidenticals is what I would do first :) good luck !
