Sex issues after WL

I'm wondering if anyone else is having a similar issue or if I'm just weird. And if others have experienced this, what they did to fix it.

First, I have to say I'm well into the menopausal process having lost my uterus and one ovary to a giant fibroid tumor about 10 years ago, so that may be part of it. Both my husband and I were hoping, and actually expecting, that as I lost weight and felt better, our cuddling time would increase and improve. Unfortunately, not only has it become physically uncomfortable for me (less "padding" and dry), but my interest in "cuddling" has vanished. I mean poof, nothing.

He's trying to be sensitive to my needs. I'm trying to be sensitive to his. We are both sad.

I'm going to see my surgeon today (One year follow-up!, whoo, hoo!) and will ask for a referral to someone to help us with this problem. We may both be grey on top, but still love each other very much and "cuddling" for us has been a joy for all of our time together. We just don't feel like it is something we should have to give up because we are older. I just want to make sure the surgery didn't contribute to the issue (not that I would undo it... just figuring that if I could figure out how it contributes, I could find a way to compensate).  

Low fat leads to dry skin. Like everywhere drier. 

Using good quality lubricants... Plus taking more time...

Post op RNY - I went into instant menopause.  I could not handle the hot flashes, memory fog, low energy..etc. I went on HRT. Including testosterone gel.  Woman - we need some testosterone. I get compounding gel - unfortunately insurance does not want to cover that. But...it is worth for me.  

Testosterone is great for cardiovascular condition, bones, well being- energy, muscle retention and formation, memory functions..plus libido.  It worked so well - I had to find a BF.  Lol... 

That's awesome- I lol'd literally at the "had to find a boyfriend".

I agree, testosterone cream does wonders to help. I haven't needed it yet, but I've learned so much about testosterone levels in both men AND women here over the last year. I also had a friend that got the compounding gel, and it did wonders for her. I am waiting for me weight to level out, and then I'm going to see our doctor about it myself (I still can get there, but I'm not as interested in trying to get there, if that makes sense LOL)

Good for you Hala ! You go grrl! 

It definitely sounds hormonal.  I'm sure there's a solution out there and congrats on your surgiversary!

There are some herbs that might help, such as maca root. As with any herbal supplement, though, make sure you check with your PCP to make sure it won't cause issues with any meds or conditions. I second the recommendation for lubricant, because menopause itself leads to dryness, and dryness and being uncomfortable may be subconsciously decreasing your sex drive. And when I say lubricant, I don't mean KY. That stuff is crap, IMHO. Do a bit of research and find a good water- or silicone-based lubricant. There are some nice women-friendly sites with good selections that can help guide you, like Good Vibrations. If you're prone to yeast infections or UTIs, try to steer clear of anything with glycerin, warming agents, flavorings, or scents.

As for less padding making it uncomfortable, you might try experimenting with different positions to see if you're more comfortable. 

I hope that helps!

I have found that I've had  some problems since surgery.  i think some of it is emotional ,  but some is definitely hormonal.  i hope you figure it out!

I don't have any suggestions. But a lot of people find this happening after surgery, so you aren't alone. But there are also a lot that have the opposite reaction, and start "cuddling" with anything that moves. But I think most don't notice a change.

I hope you find an answer. It's worth digging for.

Yes, there are indiscreet over-cuddlers out there after WLS, that's for sure!