Wow. Just wow. Some friends are just toxic

I just want to cosign most of this.  I was eating mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes on my plan for a few weeks until I learned on here that they aren't nutritionally great.

Beans are better.

Your wife's friends suck. If they don't like the surgery they shouldn't have it and shut up about anyone choosing to have it.

And a supportive spouse is everything IMO. My DH has been super supportive and instrumental to how well I've done I think! Good luck with everything.

Totally what Audrey said. I had a horrible food plan. 

Another co-signer for Audrey's post.

100% on the mark.

Best wishes during your surgery and recovery!  Keep us all posted as to how you are doing. There will always be people that are toxic in our lives, WLS doesn't cure that.  It is a wonderful opportunity to succeed in regaining your health though. See you on the loser's bench!

~Elizabeth

Tell your wife to let things roll off of her shoulders. There are so many naysayers out there. So many. So many stories that can be horrible. 

If she has friends who are not supportive. I would tell her to tell them that this topic is off the table to be talked about if it is going to upset her. 

Let her know they were not friends, friends can express their "concerns" but always support you.  It's sad it was your wife that was attacked as you said we as pre-ops are armed and ready to rock and roll. 

On a personal note, I lost a lot of so called friends.  They don't show their true colors right away...but once you start losing and they see OMG she/he is going to do this and look better than me.  They start sabotaging you.  

Good luck to you and we are here for you and your wife!

I have to learn the truncation rules for this forum.

Here's what I wanted to post, but got lost in the first posts

Thanks everyone.  I appreciate your comments and advice.  It's a long story about her friends and I'll just leave it at that.  She knows how I feel and does stand up for herself with them often.  I suspect that they fed off some of her own concerns and confusion, which spun this up into a chaotic situation.  That's why I pulled out the book and we discussed the whys of the list.   Thankfully, the positive waves are stronger and more plentiful from my other friends and my relatives.  

Regarding the potatoes.  No worries and I appreciate the advice.  My medical team does allow those carbs, but bang into our heads protein first and to target.  What I heard at the support group meetings was that many had it hard during the first month and really relied on mashed potatoes and refried beans.  So I was just being a Boy Scout.   Also, potatoes and other salty things aren't a trigger for me (and hopefully stays that way).  I'm a sweet guy (caramel corn, cookies, ice cream....)

Hi Alan,

There are no truncation rules I am aware of?  If you are having issues with posting let me know and I can help 

TL:DR

your wife's friends suck. 

don't eat mashed potatoes. 

best of luck tomorrow! its going to be a great journey. 

Mashed potatoes were on my approved list for pureed foods, I just know that they are a trigger food for me, so used other options. I do enjoy a bit (about an ounce) of baked sweet potato about once a week when we have steak for dinner. But that will be a bit down the road for you.

I discovered that the people most opposed to my surgery (both before and after) were obese themselves and not wanting to make changes in their lives and fearful ( I think) that if I succeeded, they would feel pressured to do the same. In one case, a woman I know (also morbidly obese) lost her father while he was undergoing the surgery... but he had a very bad heart and was going to die for sure without the surgery, so it was a last ditch effort for him. I do think she was sincerely worried about me.

My husband has been wonderfully support (perhaps sometimes too much as he has a tendency to fall into the food police role) and I can tell you it makes a big difference for me. I have a friend who had the same surgery and her husband has not been supportive at all. In fact, he insists that she continue to cook all his old favorites for him and so she is preparing two meals every meal. When I don't feel like cooking, my husband does it for us and that keeps me out of the kitchen when I'm feeling stressed. He also has given up most sweets and keeps his breakfast cereal in the freezer (why, I don't know because I was never a breakfast cereal eater... but I don't question his reasoning).

Since our son has moved back home, I have seen a few frozen pizzas appear (and disappear), but I'm just glad he is eating something (he has an eating disorder of not eating when he is stressed, so ANYTIME he eats it's a victory.).