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>> I am not passing judgment...

Okay, it was really hard for me to get through all that, but basically I'm getting a sense that you think i'm making excuses for bad behavior on a message board and that will lead to me making excuses in my personal life and will eventually lead me to failure at weight loss surgery?  I find that completely offensive, and I find myself being slightly offended by your sense of superiority, the type of attitude that you are preaching against. (good thing I'm not so sensitive that I need to flounce away). How are you any different than anything that you are speaking against here? Because you say you are not judging, it is different?  The last few days you have added your "wisdom" to many threads about how we all should be more sensitive, and say that some of us (this response was to me in particular) are establishing hierarchy that doesn't matter. Your long posts insisting that we be nicer and better people because you have been watching for 10 months and see where we have all been insensitive and gone wrong.  Yet until recently, you never participated.  You have never interacted with any of us, so now that you see injustice, you jump in and tell us like it is, so we all better just stop being so mean.  I'm sorry, but I am having a hard time with this.  It's great that you've been here lurking and watching us, but until you actually interact with us on a regular basis, I'm sorry if I don't feel compelled to take anything you have to say seriously.  Sometimes things get a little rough here, but real life gets rough too, and in a perfect world we could all be unicorns and rainbows, but as much as you want to preach it, that **** ain't going to happen.  

How has anyone not respected difference of opinion?  Opinion is opinion, and everyone has their right to it.  There is no rule against people having an opinion, and on the other side, your post here is saying that the ones who disagree shouldn't post their opinions, because it wouldn't be respecting the opinions of others.  It's just a mind boggling circle.  We should all be PC and respect that others do things differently, but how would anyone give honest advice if someone is doing something that a vet KNOWS is wrong and will hurt the OP.  When someone is repeatedly posting things that are self-destructive and people are telling them to stop, over and over again, what do you do?  Wish them well and move on?  Call them out?  Ignore them?  Exactly what would imouse do?

Also, people are allowed to feel offended.  I have been at the ass end of things here and I've been offended, but I took what I consider appropriate action and have blocked the offending people.  I just don't want people to "take their ball and go home" because this place is so full of support it's practically bursting at the seams.  No one is trying to run anyone off, regardless of how they feel about them.   I hope you stick around and contribute to the forums on a regular basis.  Diversity is what makes this forum great, and if you are here and feel like you want to be a voice for the litte guy, then I hope that you will stay.  It may help what you perceive to be a hierarchy, and you can be the voice of reason. 

  Many of the vets that were around when I was in my "RNY infancy" are no longer here.  They got sick of the forum nannies and they felt like they were not appreciated.  That is one of the reasons I don't post much anymore.  I'm sick and tired of being accused of being mean or malicious.  I'm simply not a "hand patter".  I'm blunt...period.  My heart is in the right place.  I don't know anyone on this site who is malicious.

Pretty soon OH will be a website of the blind leading the blind.  The vets will either leave or stay silent and watch the train wreck. After all these years of reading and responding to the same questions over and over, I can predict with 90% accuracy who will succeed and who will be back in year three or four trying to "get back on track" having never reached their goal.

words.. so many words... 

....................

Well I'm glad you got all of that off your chest. :) What I'm getting in at least part of your post is that people should post in a certain kind of way that is considered respectable, courteous, etc & that vets are brusque & surprised when a newbie questions their advice. There is also a mention of people you consider hypocritical cuz they di**** out but can't take it in return.

Usually anything dished out, they vets & newbies can take it, di**** out, or leave it. Communication & miscommunication is very frequent on these boards & if you stick around, participate, not just lurk, you can see where people are coming from & you can see how they post & most people don't like being told how to post.

I do find it hilarious that you think that there is a vet versus newbie controversy. Usually the only time I see vets join together on a certain issue is when they agree with each other, but it doesn't mean they're joined at the hip.

You said you've been lurking, then you must've noticed the shopping cart debate that originated on the *****fest thread a ways back. There were some vets that had very strong & opposing views on the matter, but in the end they had an a agree to disagree kind of thing & are still friends with each other.

I welcome the vets advice but also realize that not every bit of advice dished out applies to me & I think that needs to be kept in mind whenever anybody posts anything & of the replies they get back. 

An example would be the alcohol & when can I drink again posts. No one really knows anyone on here, sure the op might know the affects of alcohol on the liver, they might know about cross addiction etc, then again they might not know any of those things, so they'll hear sometimes the same answer over n over again by those same vets who have seen either personally for themselves or thru others what can happen.

I value all opinions, from newbies to vets & all those in between. If I post something that looks kinda crazy I'd want to be told about it. I don't care if it's a hand pat or a kick in the ass.

I'm a little wordy too.  

"I do better than you so shut up and do what I do."

I don't know what forum you've been reading. But I have never seen anyone who's been on these boards a while behave in that manner.

I have seen a lot of uninformed newbies with this attitude though.

I was going to write the exact same thing. I have never seen that here. It all boils down to interpretation and some infer tone when it may not exist

Yes people come from different backgrounds & experiences & that should be kept in mind, what also needs to be kept in mind is that not everyone *****ads a post a certain way is going to interpret in the same way the op posted. It doesn't make it right or wrong but different interpretations of the same post abounds in this forum. What is offensive to one , isn't offensive to another.

 & more to this post.

What kills me is that people think that you must interpret a post only 1 way, their way, & if you don't, you're not supportive, you're attacking me etc. Yes I called the op shallow because that is how I read her post, it doesn't make it right or wrong, it's just the way that I saw it.

There's also the you must post you're response in a way that's acceptable to me type of response. Hello, it's a forum. Some people give the sugar laden fairy dusted response with unicorns & rainbows & others will give you a harsher real deal type of response., & everything in between.

People can take what they want or leave it. 

But really D, on a serious tip, Do you return your shopping cart to the corral or leave it next to your car? lol 

The sweet young bag person takes it back after they unload my groceries and say "have a good day Ma'am  ". I don't know if its me or my awesome 01Lincoln towncar that earn the Ma'am.