PSA - The internet, public forums, and you!
I feel people in general are more sensitive today, I am not just talking of this forum, but life in general. I love debate, but the debate needs to be two sided. I understand that I am not able to "force" my opinion on anyone , even when facts back up what I am saying. I have found in the workplace that I have accomplished more by getting "buy in" from those I am debating with. In the end I usually get what I want , doing it in a tactful manner.
On the boards and forums I find that most people know the right and the wrong answer. They are looking for validation on the way they are leaning and if you do not validate their point, they may get offended or upset. I like this forum and I have been on the receiving end of some tough love, at first I was not sure if I was being attacked, ganged up on, etc. I took the time to read, re-read and evaluate and I realized all of the points that Deanna made. In the end, most people are here to help, have a wealth of knowledge and are more than willing to share.
Holy **** parenting forums are the WORST.
Formula feeding? CHILD ABUSE!!!! Mismatching daycare clothes? SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!! Kid on a leash at the zoo so he doesn't get eaten by a tiger? YOU ARE A WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING AND CPS SHOULD COME TAKE YOUR CHILD AWAY YOU MISERABLE WASTE OF SKIN!!!!!111
Support doesn't mean patting someone on the hand and telling them everything is OK. If someone is endangering their health, sabotaging their chances of success, or treating another human being poorly? I'm going to call them out on it before they hurt themself, fail miserably, or get *****slapped. I kick ass because I care, and because binging on carbs hasn't gotten anyone to goal (yet).
And remember, you have no obligation to listen nor stick around.
Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!
on 7/21/16 12:28 pm, edited 7/21/16 5:29 am - WI
Great post, Deanna! I would add that if someone (that is a few months out from surgery) is telling newbies to ignore the advice of a wildly successful vet, (who has lost two or three hundred pounds and kept it off), question that. It shows you that that person is butt hurt and passing along their own bias. Look at those tickers and dates. If someone who is years out, and has lost hundreds of pounds and kept it off is giving ME advice, I would be listening with BOTH EARS. I would want to know how they did it. I would want that kind of success. If someone who is a few months out and blowing off said advice...well... you do the math.
No offense to the newbies, you all have plenty to offer in the way of advice to your peers by sharing your experiences, but you have not yet reached the difficult part of the WLS journey... MAINTENANCE! Re-gain is real and it happens to a lot of us. Listening to those who have been able to maintain their loss for years in crucial to your success. Sometimes a vet may come off as harsh, but they know how difficult maintaining is and are trying to get that point across to you.
The obese are masters at making excuses ( I include myself in this criticism). I think there are a group of people on OH that have finally recognized that they are solely responsible for their own success or failure. That they ate themselves up to obese stature. They take full responsibility and they are trying to get others to see the truth. Then there are those that want their obesity to be blamed on anything but themselves. They blame it on medication, knee surgery, back pain, hormonal problems, you name it. They refuse to accept the fact that they ate themselves (one bite at a time) right up to the place where they needed surgery. They blame their regain on stress, or lack of exercise, or job changes. NO!!! It is ALL about what you choose to eat...PERIOD! No one force feeds you!
You can't succeed until you face the truth.
HW 270 SW 236 GW 160 CW 145 (15 pounds below goal!)
VBG Aug. 7, 1986, Revised to RNY Nov. 18, 2010
