To tell, or not to tell...

I told my boss and 2 co workers that i was 'close' with and wouldn't be blabber mcblabbersons about it.

I told my mom, dad and sisters. My mom proceeded to blab to my entire extended family and anyone who would listen even the auto mechanic. I set her straight real quickly about this. It is my personal medical information and if she as going to continue I would no longer tell her anything because she can't keep her mouth shut.

Some people I feel comfortable telling how I lost weight after that ask, some I just say I've worked really hard and that is the truth.

I'm really funny about this. I feel like I'm lying if I don't tell the whole truth, which seems disingenuous to other MO people who may need to hear about it. Last weekend while working a group of nurses asked me what I was doing, that I looked great. I told them about the surgery and they were all pretty excited. (Heavier gals). I guess it depends on your level of comfort and how much you care about what others think. I don't announce it on social media or anything, but I've always had a weight problem since about college age, so to me--this was going to be quite noticeable. Plus my kids are watching what I say and do every minute. I just have to be honest. Now if I don't want to tell someone, I won't. If I thought someone was being rude or snarky I would probably give minimal info. 

Tell ...don't tell... But don't lie... 

Don't volonteeer info to even one person in thevofficevif you don't want the whole office to know...

If asked - switch the subject... Avoid the question..." why do you need to know that? " would shut up some people, while others would ask more question... When I heard " I am curious or wondering...I would look at them and I may say.." interesting..." smile and walk away... Or with some really pushy people...I would ask " Do you make a habit of asking very personal questions because you are curious?  This is a work place...I think you are crossing boundaries here...." and walk away...

I told everyone,even strangers in Goodwill! After being obese my whole life,I was just too excited to have my life back to not share my journey with others. I spent my whole life thinking if I just worked out harder or ate less I could lose the weight. I can't cause anyone else who could benefit from surgery to feel like I did then. There's help there for those who are ready but if none of us tell how will they know!? I set my mind to be an example of a person who lost with RNY and kept it off because everyone knows someone who had surgery and gained it all back. I've had chances to talk with several from my community about the surgery and 3 have gone on to have procedures too. That's what worked for me but you need to do what feels right to you.

karenp8 -- Thank you for your response!  I agree want to be an example to others who can benefit from my experience.  Being almost 50 and overweight to MO since I was 16 I think I've been through it all and tried just about everything to lose and maintain weight loss.  There are others out there that have gone through the same and worse.  Being selective about who and how I tell is how I think I will proceed.

Sonja

I didn't broadcast it to the world, but I didn't lie... and I did tell my family and close co-workers since this was serious surgery that could conceivably kill me.

I still don't broadcast it, but when people ask now, again I don't lie.  My pat answer to everyone: "surgery, diet and exercise". 

Audrey

I am not telling anybody. When I looked into WLS surgery 10 years ago everybody was very negative. Even thought they praised the weightless of a mutual family friend who had it done. People at work even went as far as saying I gained weight on purpose to have the surgery!!! It was so painful to hear! Now share an office with 2 other men at work who would never understand. One of them is very judgemental and a male chauvinist. We are busy and they would consider this an elective surgery. They won't understand and I don't care enough to try to make them. They know that I am having an endoscopy done but think its for a hiatal hernia. I do have a hiatal hernia and have pain from it and it will be repaired during surgery. I will just leave the WLS part of it out. If they find out then so be it but I just want to get it done BEFORE everybody feels they need to give their opinion!!! 

So, I will preface this by saying I am a very open person,,,I don't really care who knows I am having the surgery...I am scheduled for surgery in August. People close to me know. Some understand, some don't. Whatever. I don't really care who knows, but I don't want to field everyone's advice about whether or not to have it either. So as my date comes closer, I will tell more people, and I will probably put something on my facebook page like the day before or something, lol. I prefer to have it all out there than to explain myself (or not) to a hundred people in the next year. 

If I didn't want to tell people, I would probably be sarcastic about it,,,Like, "Oh, you look great, how are you losing so much weight?" "Oh, you know, I finally found that magic pill I was looking for, hahhah!" 

In an office situation like you described, and again, this is just for me, I would probably tell a couple of friends and let them know that they can spread the word. That way, people would eventually know but I wouldn't have The Conversation with every single soul. 

So, I will preface this by saying I am a very open person,,,I don't really care who knows I am having the surgery...I am scheduled for surgery in August. People close to me know. Some understand, some don't. Whatever. I don't really care who knows, but I don't want to field everyone's advice about whether or not to have it either. So as my date comes closer, I will tell more people, and I will probably put something on my facebook page like the day before or something, lol. I prefer to have it all out there than to explain myself (or not) to a hundred people in the next year. 

If I didn't want to tell people, I would probably be sarcastic about it,,,Like, "Oh, you look great, how are you losing so much weight?" "Oh, you know, I finally found that magic pill I was looking for, hahhah!" 

In an office situation like you described, and again, this is just for me, I would probably tell a couple of friends and let them know that they can spread the word. That way, people would eventually know but I wouldn't have The Conversation with every single soul.