To tell, or not to tell...

So, you had lapband. Who did you tell then? What were the responses you received- mire importantly- how did you deal with the responses. 

I opted to mainly tell family. ( I don't live near them so I won't hear if the talk smack anyway). I only told 3 close work friends that I trust won't share the info. 

I decide what I'm going to say on a case by case basis. Some people I trust, others I don't. I live in a moderately small town and eventually everyone will know, or guess. But "I" get to decide who I tell.

I have a big mouth. I tell strangers if the subject comes up LOL

I figure if I can help people understand the procedure and maybe it'll help with the stigma of WLS. And if someone decides to have the surgery because of my big mouth then I can be an example.

of course it's always up to each individual person, and you need to do what's most comfortable for you.

I also had to have my band removed--because it was causing achalasia and I really couldn't swallow. At the time of my revision, my co-workers knew that was an issue for me (but they didn't know why). So I told them I was having surgery to fix that. True. And when I lost a ton of weight, I told them it was because I was now healthy and could eat and swallow "real" food, again. Also true. 

I was not in a very supportive environment at the time. It would have caused drama and I was not up for being surrounded by that in my new healthy life-style. Now I am in a great work environment. No one knows at this new job, because they met me as a skinny person and they don't know any different. But I wouldn't have a problem telling here if anyone asked. These people are supportive and kind in any situation! 

No two situations are going to be the same. It's not about whether the majority of people in your office are thin, it's about whether they are kind! Figure out how you will best be supported and tell or not tell, according to that.

Thank you so much!!  You are very wise. :)  It definitely helps to have support.

Sonja

That's your decision to tell or not. You are not going to look like the same person in a year. You will look dramatically different. In three years most won't even remember and no one will mention it.

My pet peeve. If you don't want to tell that's fine. But don't say "I lost this through exercise and diet"

I think that's dishonest. JMO

Deb

seattledeb -- Thank you for your response!  And I agree - I would never claim "diet and exercise," but am likely to say "healthy eating/lifestyle and exercise," which will be true whether with or without the surgery.

Sonja

If that's what you choose to tell people, don't delude yourself into thinking it's the truth. It would be like winning Powerball, buying a mansion and yacht, and telling people you got them through hard work. You may work extremely hard, but wouldn't have a mansion and yacht without Powerball.

Not one of us would have reached our weight and health goals without surgery. Saying healthy eating and exercise without mentioning surgery is not the truth. The surgical component was the key for all of us.

I understand not wanting to tell people about WLS, and fully support everyone that doesn't. But a half truth is still a lie. Tell them nothing. Tell them it's none of their business. Tell them to get screwed. But when others find out you misled them about surgery, they'll all think you lied. And integrity is hard to win back.

Thank you for your frank response!  I appreciate when people are real with me, and I try to be real with them. That said, integrity is important to me... You have all given me a lot to think about, and for that I thank you.

Sonja

I would go for the removing part of the stomach due to damage explanation. It makes sense that after that you would lose weight. Perhaps it is a lie by omission but since you work some explanation will be needed and I don't think it is really everyone's business.

My husband knows, my best friend (we went to Mexico together and had the same surgery) and my two daughters. I did not tell anyone else as I didn't want to deal with others responses especially my DIL who would bring it up till the day I die and not in any positive way.

Oddly lots of people have never commented on my weight loss though it hasn't been huge (60lbs) however it is quite noticeable as I wasn't morbidly obese. People I am around a lot know I have been walking a great deal and watching what and how much I eat.

Good luck with your upcoming surgery and making the decision that you will be most comfortable with.