New to OH, New to Forums, New to Surgery

In the past I have read the topics, but never actively started one or participated in any of them. However, I realize that to be successful I will need all the support I can get. I am unsure of how much to share about my struggles, about my feelings, about my decision to have surgery. My surgery is next Monday - July 11. I am currently following a liver shrinking diet, and, except for the late evenings, I have no problems. I get hungry at night. I start pacing, and then I go into my craft room to avoid areas of the house where I would have normally snacked in the evenings. I know that the changes I am striving for need to be permanent. I guess what I really need right now is to find people who understand what I am going through, and who will help me to stay positive though my journey. My husband is great - but he only understands that I need to lose weight, but not the personal, inner struggle I have in doing so. My mother says the right things, but I have heard her when she has spoken of friends that have had weight loss surgery - it's been very critical; I don't feel comfortable talking to her about it.  How have y'all handled these situations?

Biggest thing I've learned is that you can't drag one who doesn't have an intimate knowledge of the effects of obesity and the lifelong demands of WLS along in this journey. they may weigh you down so much by your trying to justify, rationalize or explain things  that you'll lose focus and fail. Your are captain of this ship-- pick your passengers carefully IMO.

ive taken the approach with my hubby I tell him what he needs to know if there is a medical emergency with me-- but beyond that I rarely discuss the struggles, mind trips, head games etc. I don't look for him or anyone to be sensitive to my dietary needs-- I'm grown and must look out for myself, planning accordingly. 

Forums have been my saving grace, and a few family members that I know have had surgery. But even that gets awkward with family- cause when you surpass their success people get funny. 

Be active, even if its only reading and learning to start-- you'll know when you're ready to contribute. 

Thank you, Ms. Peachpie. This makes a lot of sense.

Wehen you are hungry in the evenings,drink fluid. Drink drink drink,it helps.

Hi,

Good Luck on Monday! Soon you will be on the losers bench!! That is my 3 yr surgerversary. No regrets here! 

I did not talk to family members much, unless they asked and were being nice. Mainly I talked to people I knew who have had the surgery ( there are 5 at work). And my good friend. Plus I read and posted on the forums. It helped so much right after surgery. Now I just pop in a couple of times a week. 

Yes, I had some inner revelations. I was obsessed with food. It has definitely waned, but I still enjoy finding a new recipe lol. I have made some great changes: protein first, then small amount of veggies, walk everyday, drink lots of water, very strict with my vitamins, no alcohol, no coffee (1 decaf), very little sweets, no breads or starches, and I listen to my stomach and stop eating so it won't hurt. ð?¤--  Sounds obvious but I  was so used to eating for pleasure not nourishment. 

My advice to you and other pre surgery folks is to follow your plan very strictly. After the 3-4 month it is easy to start experimenting with starches and other foods that you want to eat but not necessarily on your plan. The reason this is a problem is because you have a limited time to lose all of your weight and you want to take advantage of that time (about the first 18 mos) to lose fast and easy. I can eat anything by the way and do not dump. I just get a little nauseous if I eat took much sugar. If you start to let the off plan foods into your life too soon, you will drastically slow down your weight loss and possibly not make your goal weight. I'm not saying that it is impossible to keep losing, just harder and slower. 

I still hope to lose 10 pounds this summer. After about 4 months post surgery, I did eat some things I shouldn't have and slowed down my weight loss. But I'm happy and have made my good eating a life habit, not a diet. I can still lose weight when I try hard. And if I don'****ch, it is easy to let the pounds back on just like before surgery.

Vicki -- Thank you for posting this!!  I hope it shows how important it is to have support - whether from family, work, support groups, etc.  I too am pre-RNY (scheduled for 8/9) and am definitely benefiting from your post.  You will do great on Monday!!

Sonja