I am in the pre-approval phase for RNY.  I am hoping for a surgery date in September. I am really trying to enjoy this journey. I didn't realize how emotional going through this process would be.  

I feel like I have fought having this surgery for the past 10 years in my head. I kept telling myself that i could do it on my own, only to fail myself again. It has been really emotional to admit that to someone else. 

I am ready to put myself first. I am worth it.

Enjoy the process - interesting concept - novel for me.  I didn't enjoy the process for a long time - endured, hoped, concentrated but Joy was not really associated with WLS until I got under 250 pounds and for the first time thought that maybe it would work for me.  8 months after WLS joy was (and still is) around a lot.  I hope you find it sooner than I did.

It took me 50 years and 2 regains of 100+ pounds and myriad regains of 20-50 pounds before I could accept that I was not one of the lucky 3-5% of people who will take it off and keep it of without WLS.  Accepting that was very emotional and I think I felt very brave for not pretending that today would be different and i stick to a diet.  When I finally accepted it, it really enabled me to think logically about my options and go forward.

Best of luck to you.

It is a very emotional journey.... I battled getting surgery in my mind for at least 10+ years. I never thought I would be one of 'those' people. Here I am, one of 'those' people....

You are worth it!

My first WLS informational meeting was in the 1980's.  I walked out of that meeting saying to myself, "nope, doing it on my own."  I did, too...only to uptick the scale to a dangerous level.  In 2012, the white flag was waved for WLS because dying super super morbidly obese was my greatest fear.  WLS has given me peace for when that day comes.

" only to fail myself again"..

Why do YOU think YOU FAILED YOURSELF versus THE DIET FAILING YOU?

This is an important distinction. If you failed because you have an eating disorder/food addition, you need to talk to some about that because you will very likely fail after the surgery.

With that said, something like 70-90% of people regain the weight they lost after dieting. I would argue, those numbers suggest that diets DONT work and the DIET FAILS people!

Also realize, if you have an endocrine issue (like I do), you can behave, follow things to a "t" , lose 40 lbs and be informed that "that is it." That is the best you can do without some surgical help.  IN this case MY BODY FAILED ME!

I hope these distinctions help you figure things out. Dont be needlessly guilty (it can lead to overeating). If the surgery is for you, go in with eyes open, educated, and prepared to fight like hell doing the best you can (even beyond humanly possible) to get to your goal!

You are worth it! It's a crazy ride so buckle up and be ready!

It's very emotional, but worth it.  The only advice I could give you is to be patient - with the process and yourself.  There WILL be setbacks, but just take them and learn from them.  Don't be hard on yourself!   :)  Good luck