The 'Truth' of the Matter -Motivation

Morning folks. I'm feeling that I now have to face some 'truths' about this surgery. The one thing that I've learned about WLS, is not to make your story my story but we can learn from other's experiences. (if that makes any sense.) 

I've read so many posts that I thought I had it all together. I could do this.

30 days out, I was doing well... 60 days out...doing ok.

So, I'm heading to 90 days out. Here's where the 'truths' come in.

1. I don't eat/drink sugar often, but I have been able to tolerate it. (NOT a good thing!) I've had a cookie here and there. (The snack monster is my arch nemesis)

2. I have been able to tolerate alcohol. Not often, but I have been able to drink 2 or 3 beers in a night or 2 ****tails. I didn't get sick like most post-ops. I knew I shouldn't be drinking, but I did.

3. 'Stalls' are of the devil. They trick your mind and do 1 of 2 things. Either it's going to motivate you to do/move more, or it's going to send you into a depressive downward spiral. Guess which category I fell into?

4. It's been about 3 weeks since I've felt that 'full' sensation that I relied heavily upon to know when to stop eating. Yes, I measure my food, but it used to be that I could not finish what I measured out. Now, I can fini**** and could possibly eat more. I choose not to, only because 1 bite can take you over the top, if you know what I mean.

Sounds like a great story, right? Insert Sarcasm here. Let me tell you. If I had known that I would feel the things that I felt these last 4 weeks, I would not have had this surgery. I want to eat like other people. I want to have that love affair with the double chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse.

You've heard it a million times. WLS is not a magic wand. It's a tool. All tools need some level of strength aka willpower to work.To whom much is given, MUCH IS REQUIRED. Willpower is just as much mental as it is physical. You have to get in a better mindset in order for this tool to work.

Now, for some more positive truths...and a little advice.

I'm down 53lbs in less than 3 months.

Yes, I can tolerate sugar, but we know that's  a no-no - I go to www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com to get ideas for alternatives to subdue those snack monsters.

I haven't had any bread, rice, grits or pasta since my surgery. I tried a piece of a piece of bread and it didn't work for me. That's a victory in and of itself.

I exercise 4-5 times a week. (prior to wls, that would have been in a year, NO LIE!) Walking and water aerobics.

If you have the option to, continue to speak with your psychologist every now and then. The things I thought I would be able to handle prior to surgery came back to bite me in my now smaller hind-parts and talking to her helped me tremendously. 

It's not as easy as people make it out to be, but it's not that hard either. Just a lot of willpower and determination. Good luck to you on your journey.

Thanks for posting this. I hope you change your mind eventually and are happy with your coice to have the surgery. Congrats on the 53 l loss!!

I hope you pull yourself out of feeling like you wish you never had surgery.

Maybe I wasn't clear (*I may not have had my breakfast at that point...lol) Yes, Ive had regrets, but I haven't let those regrets take over. I said all that to say that regrets happen. But we have to move forward and have faith, will and determination that this will work.

Thank you for sharing such an honest description of your feelings and behaviors.  I am also 3 months out and have been struggling with food grief.  I am trying to take it a day at a time and not be too hard on myself if I get a little off course.  I just find that I think about food way too much. That has not changed after the surgery.  I don't feel physically hungry so I know it's all in my head and my taste buds.Hang in there and keep reading and posting here.  It helps a lot for feel like you are not alone in this struggle.  Take care and be good to yourself.

I appreciate the honesty of your post.  I'm not sure who told you this was an easy road, because it's not.  The emotional issues with food do not subside just because we've had our anatomy altered.  Sometimes I do miss eating huge quantities of food and getting that heady rush of fullness.  But losing that ability is a small trade off for having a better quality of life.

My advice to you (and take it for what it's worth) is to avoid sugar and alcohol during your honeymoon phase, which is generally considered one year.   It's so easy to back slide into bad habits by pushing the edge of the envelope.  At three months, you should try to keep your focus on staying on plan.  Not easy, but doable.

I wholeheartedly agree that speaking with a therapist is a great idea.  Support groups benefit many people as well.  After surgery, we are living in a world of people who do not understand our challenges and can't give us the support and insight that we need to move forward.

No one here is perfect.  We all have missteps, but the point is to make better choices more often than not.  We cannot go back to the way we ate prior to surgery, and mourning that loss is real.  I get it.  I don't know how much weight you need to lose, but hang in there.  

You are soooo right about MOTIVATION!!!!!! ! And yeah....it's not always easy to stay motivated especially when the weight loss slows down or stops!!!!!

I too can eat or drink anything, never get sick or feel crazy full ( something I thought the surgery would change but didn't ) however at 11mths I'm nearly 120lbs lighter, , healthier,  pain free, medication free, wearing size 4-6/small, and am no longer afraid or embarrassed be in public....my quality of life is 100% better....no regrets! !!!

 I agree my success has been ME and my choices and discipline and I hope it continues for the long haul because I feel truly alive now and never want to go back.

I feel bad that you are missing some of the  unhealthy perks of your  old  life of and having some regrets about the surgery, however I think many people share your same thoughts and frustrations, but i think as time goes on these negative thoughts will pass and be replaced with pure optimism for the future.  This process is filled with emotional hurdles for us to jump over.

I DO ENTIRELY support your advice to others that this surgery doesn't make life "easy" or "magical" and it may not be everything that you think it will be.    Mindset IS everything, and when you believe you can change your life...and you are willing to do what it takes everyday.........you WILL see your life change!!!!  

Stay strong, do your best everyday.   I understand and wish you well