I've been doing my best to not talk about my weight loss journey much at home. Unless someone brings it up or comments I try to not obsess because I know that will get on people's nerves, especially my husbands. 

I got the results from my first set of labs back and my Vit D was low and my iron. They also said I needed to up my protein. (I haven't seen the numbers yet so not sure about details). I just mentioned this to DH and he looked and me and said "what do you want me to do about it". I was shocked and honestly hurt. He then went on to say that not everything has to be about my weight loss. 

It really hurt my feelings. I've tried not to discuss it at home but I know that it's always there, I don't eat a lot and cannot eat some things like carbs and desserts like others. DH is 6'3 and about 250, so could stand to lose 20 pounds but can easily do so if he decides to. I do think he could feel threatened but the changes he sees in me, and he was in a bad mood today anyway. I guess I wonder what I can do to help? I don't need relationship drama as I undergo these changes. 

Does anyone else have some advice? He apologized later but we haven't really talked about why he said that specifically. 

Like you, I don't talk about my journey at home much, I use the boards as my sounding post. 

Regardless of the fact the blood work issue is related to the WLS, it impacts your health and IMO your hubby should take a vested interest in that. But it still is out of his control...Men like to solve problems, and when faced with something they can't solve- they get weird. Maybe that's what you saw in him today. 

I've learned not to saddle my husband down with the fine details, I'll tell him if there is an issue AND what I have to do to resolve it. IE- "I've been feeling tired & noticed I've missed my night time Vitamin dose-- I'm gonna push the dose up a hour earlier." That's when he pays attention, cause he'll see me yawn etc and ask me if I took it and/or followed through with rescheduling the dose etc. it gives him his 'in' to help. It it also puts him on notice as to what I'm taking, so if something happens to me- he can tell doctors etc what he knows. 

Im sorry it hurt you-- the reaction certainly would give me pause.

I just want to say that I'm sorry he said that to you. That had to hurt your feelings deeply . I'm glad that he apologized to you and I can't offer much advice other than to say that I tried explaining to my husband that if I do need to talk to him about my new life that I hope he will listen and understand that , if it were him, I would be his go to person to care, if it's important to you, it should be important to him . Especially if it's not everyday that your just going on and on about it . 

Probably just irritation. That's what it would be from my husband. He loves me and is well-intentioned but can drop the ball when it comes to emotional support. I get that from my girlfriends.

Sorry it hurt you. I know how that feels.

First I would like to congratulate you on your weight loss and dedication to your program - you are doing great!  Now about the comment from your husband - you do not need to apologize and feel bad.  You are not the problem here.  It is not "your job" to try to make him happy and fine with your weight loss.  Keep that in mind.  You are doing something amazing to get healthy!

At WLS orientation, I was warned adjusting to the post-WLS lifestyle includes family members, as well.  Change can be hard.  My adult daughters never knew me anything but SSMO.  As I rapidly lost 200 pounds, they quietly starred at me often remarking it was like looking at a stranger.  My DH confessed he missed what had become normal.  Things eventually evened out.  It's part of the process.  My advice that might help is to have patience with yourself, patience with your family, and you should see things even out, too.  

Thanks everyone! 

I'd be feeling hurt too. You see me on Facebook,  Ave I talk about my journey often.  I have to if I want to succeed.  I told my husband that I have to immerse myself in this lifestyle for it to work for me.  He was afraid of the changes pre-op.  He told me he knew that he had issues with food, and that he was afraidthat he wouldn't be able to be supportive.  

Have you ever had av hearty to heart with your hubby and told him how a good support system is so very important to your success? 

Then we have to remember that we're all human and have bad days.  It's good that he realized that he hurt you and apologized.  

I can't even imagine what the journey looks like from the other half.  I don't know anyone who had surgery and lost a lot of weight before I had surgery,  so it's all new to me.  

10 months post op and I just recently had the first person have a negative reaction to me.  And she only did so because something I said struck a chord with her lifestyle.  You kind of expect it from the catty people around you,  but never from your loving spouse.  

Sorry for the novel, lol. My whole point is have a heart to heart with him.  Get him on the same page as you.  

Even if you are not talking about your surgery, your whole life has changed. Every single thing. He notices this. The beginning is tough. You will both adjust and be fine. 

Yes! Yes!

And sometimes, we either give the impression that our loved ones should be doing what we are doing or they put it on themselves.

For example, I am big on exercise because 1:) I can..but before I couldnt 2) helps reduce regain 3) helps with my anxiety and 4)helps me sleep and not be so mad at the world.

My husband is diabetic. He knows he should work out but he doesnt. He chooses not to make it a priority.  In the meantime, I sit around and think most people should spend more time in the gym (at times it is my answer to everything). 

So...I am either saying it or giving off those vibes, or his guilt gets him. Ya know?