How would you feel ?

That is messed up.  I would feel horrible.  NO TACT.  My surgeon told me at my six month check up, "well this is all I said you'd loose, don't expect to loose much more" and "your weight loss is going to slow down dramatically" ummm thanks.  I proved her wrong and lost another 31 lbs so far.  

Rude, that's all I can say. I have lost 100 pounds and I would rather have loose skin instead of fat. You go girl and keep up the good work.

Robin

I'm sorry. That was unprofessional and so demeaning... I work with a bunch of oil and gas 'good old boys'... I could hear this coming out of their mouths... not a professionally trained doctor! (not that it's OK it would come out of their mouths, mind you)

While his delivery lacks tack and needs some serious tuning, I think, at the core, what he is saying is actually true for a lot of post-op patients. Many patients have issues with their appearance after losing a significant  amount of weight (and perhaps their spouse/partner too) and I for one, wish someone had warned me.  How I felt about my body when I reached goal was so far from what I was expecting I wish I'd been better prepared.

Don't get me wrong, the way in which your surgeon said that to you was very dickish. There are a dozen ways he could have talked to you both about this potential issue with repect and care and I am sorry he didn't.  Not cool.

I am a revision patient from Band to RNY like yourself and I thought I knew what was coming with the WL.  I didn't have a clue.  I hope your experience is a good one and gets better from here.  This is obviously just my 2 cents.  

I agree 100%. While I do get a lot of questions about excess skin, I still think too many people expect to look like a Barbie doll after they lose the weight and for the overwhelming majority of us, that is definitely not the case.

What were the differences when you lost weight with your rny. If you don't mind sharing. I do want to be prepared . Was it very much different than the weight lost with the band? Please share any insight even if it's to my inbox . Thanks 

The first time around for me was 10 years ago - I was in my early thirties, three kids and I weighed 257 lbs when I had the LapBand placed.  I lost down to 160 Lbs, from a size 22/24 to a 10/12.  I felt sexy and powerful and like I could do anything.  Except eat of course because I was too busy throwing up and working out what I could do to get around the Band.  I slowly and painfully regained all of my weight over 7 years.  Not once when I was at that happy place did I have issues with my body other than being freaking HAPPY.  No flappy skin, not wrinkley thighs, no arm skin folding over my elbows. I was also very happy with my body at this same weight when I got there a few months out from my RNY revision.

Fast forward to RNY.  I was 41 years old, lost all of my excess weight at 12 months out and then lost down to 113 pounds after complications from my TT and hernia repair.  I was in the very lowest BMi range and looked and felt like death.  And the empty, wrinkley, flappy skin despite the TT was and still does to a certain extent, make me feel worse in my body than when I was MO.  

I look fantastic in my teen tiny clothes, but I feel a bit like a fraud. Un wrap me and there needs to be disclaimers.  It really messes with my head.  It's better now that I have stabalised my weight and things have settled and the skin is less bothersome.  But still, it isn't pretty and it isn't waht I was expecting once I reached goal.

My husband of 20 years has a hard time too.  Not so much with how I look but with how I react to how I feel about how I look.  I think he'd be happy if I was happy, but I can't say that being thin is all it's cracked up to be.  When we are fat, we just want to be thin.  But being thin doesn't mean we look good naked or in a swim suit, or in a tank top and shorts.  It just means we are thin and no longer obese.

I wish someone from my surgeon's Obesity Clinic had emphasised how important this issue can be along with teaching us how to eat with our new tool.  Diet, exercise all that stuff is important.  But understanding that surgery isn't going to make you look or feel any different about a body you've been in your whole life would have been a good heads up for me personally. 

The difference between the Band and the RNY for me is the effortless (comparatively), rapid weightloss made me look deflated somehow.  It's hard to know how much age factors in as well.  And the fact that I gained those 100 pounds AGAIN.  Who knows?  

I feel better about things today, but it has been the hardest part of my WL journey, no doubt.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. We definatley have a lot in common as I was also in my early 30's and felt great about my body. I was often throwing up as well and have regained . I have been wondering lately if there is some kind of counseling or anything to do to help accept my body because like you, I feel my husband struggles with how I am about my own body. This mind/body thing seems to really screw people's ability to love and accept ourselves. Which I feel I'm really trying to work on . I feel totally liberated by this rny so far and to be free from the band . I guess I was really probably upset at the dr because of the way he said it to me and to my husband , I feel like there could have been a proper way to warn about it with out making me feel like I'm gonna be gross to look at... Because I think any woman ( maybe men too idk ) truthfully already struggles to feel confident naked or in a swimsuit, especially bariatric patients.  I think we have an idea in our head of what we should look like before we are "good" enough. Thank you again for sharing with me . I really can relate to your feelings and will have a little better understanding of what to expect soon . 

You are welcome. 

I think you are right and though it's very difficult to explain to others why we aren't so freaking happy to have lost the weight it does help knowing that others struggle with the same issues. 

I detailed my first year experience and feelings in my OH profile if you are interested in a more detailed break down. Just send me a friend request if you can't see it. 

Oh and by the way... I just hope I get to experience wearing teeny tiny clothes too! I can't even imagine