How would you feel ?
Wow! That must have been difficult for you to get over. That makes me mad! I'm sorry he said that to you . Grrr
Banded 6/9/09 HW 242 LW 142 Revision 198 m 1 loss 16 lbs 182. M 2 loss 4 lbs 178. M3 loss 6 lbs 174.m4 loss 4 lbs 168. M5 gain 2 lbs 170. M6 loss 7 lbs 163 M7 loss 5 lbs 159 M8 loss 1 lb 158 M9 loss 0 M10 155 loss 3 M11 154 loss 1 M12 loss 2 152 M13 loss 3 149 M16, 17 0 loss M 18 loss 4 lbs 145 (18 months 53 lbs)
on 6/14/16 9:25 pm
That is very offensive. I would be so angry if someone categorized me based on my demographic. It takes a lot to get me angry, usually, but that would be one thing that does!
Sorry that was said to you......twice!!! I would have taken HUGE offence to that comment.
Like it's his jerk duty to warn other men of the horrors of your body.........give me a break!!!!
That's just plain and simple ignorant and wrong !!!!
SW- 260 GW- 150 CW -138 Height - 5'5 RNY- St Josephs Hamilton July 17/2015
Unprofessional and it worries me that a surgeon who's dedicated his career to helping obese people doesn't have enough self awareness to realize that not everybody feels the same way he obviously does. My hubby would have given him an earful about how he loves and accepts me for all of me, just as I am, and what happens when one ASSumes. I'd bring it up to him at my next visit, if for no other reason than somebody needs to call him on his **** His patients, and you, deserve better treatment. A comment like that could totally sabotage a sensitive, vulnerable patient, and that violates the whole, "first do no harm" oath.
Age: 55. 5' 8" SW 345 lbs. RNY on 2/29/16 at UVA w/ Dr. Hallowell.
Month 1 - 3/29/16: 319 (25 lbs. lost) | Month 2 - 4/27/16: 314 (5 lbs. lost) |
Month 3 - 5/29/16: 303 (12 lbs. lost) | Month 4 - 6/28/16: 293 (10 lbs. lost)
Month 5 - 7/28/16: 289 (4 lbs lost) | Month 6 - 8/28/16: 282 (7 lbs. lost) |
Month 7 - 9/27/16: 278 (4 lbs lost)
His behavior was unprofessional, sexist and condescending. I am surprised he didn't wink at your husband. ? I would call him on his behavior. Either at the next appointment if it is in a few weeks. If not , I would call him on the phone. We cannot allow people regardless of their skills think that type of behavior is acceptable. Wonder if he has daughters.
Curious--about how old was this doctor, what did HE look like, and what was DH's reply? Edited to answer your questions: I feel you are justified in questioning his insensitive remark and think it was crossing the line more than advice. Whether you choose to privately give him an opportunity to apology for his poor judgement or if you choose to report him is your call. Good Luck either way.
on 6/14/16 9:38 pm
This is highly inappropriate. He is objectifying you and treating you like your body is just for looking at. Plus, he is referring to your private sexual activities and your marriage.
It is especially inappropriate because it happened twice, which suggests that it is one of his common lines, and that he says it to others thinking he is funny. (Ho ho ho! Such a clever one!) I suspect most of his patients are women, and you are not the only person he has said this to. To maintain a professional relationship, you could write him a letter or speak to him ("Out of respect for your professionalism, I thought I should let you know . . ."). Or, you could speak to his partners.
I went to an OB/gyn, a woman, for an appointment regarding severe problems requiring a hysterectomy. She kept making comments about my body that were highly inappropriate and demeaning. It happened at two different appointments, and I finally took my husband to the next followup, which kept her in line. Even though she is well-respected for her background, I eventually did not have her do my surgery because I felt I could not trust her to treat me with respect. I found out later that she does this to many many women. I was told that reporting a demeaning doctor to the hospitals where they have operating privileges is a helpful approach. Even if your doctor is a good surgeon, and is just kind of dumb/naive about his stupid joke, he probably should know that what he says is hurtful and inappropriate--you can bet that others are hearing it too, and perhaps if you take a minute to say something, you can save others needless pain.
This is an especially raw topic for me this past week or so, in light of the Stanford rape case and some Title 9 sexual assault issues at my alma mater. I feel that as women, we need to start speaking out when even small things like this happen. We can do it in polite ways, even, but we really should speak out. If we point out such things, we can subtley change the culture that our collective daughters and granddaughters will grow up in.
^^^
Awesome response! Thanks for posting it!
Age: 55. 5' 8" SW 345 lbs. RNY on 2/29/16 at UVA w/ Dr. Hallowell.
Month 1 - 3/29/16: 319 (25 lbs. lost) | Month 2 - 4/27/16: 314 (5 lbs. lost) |
Month 3 - 5/29/16: 303 (12 lbs. lost) | Month 4 - 6/28/16: 293 (10 lbs. lost)
Month 5 - 7/28/16: 289 (4 lbs lost) | Month 6 - 8/28/16: 282 (7 lbs. lost) |
Month 7 - 9/27/16: 278 (4 lbs lost)