All my friends are obese

This weekend, my husband and I hosted our annual pool opening party and invited our friends to come and spend the weekend. This is the first time I've seen most of them since my surgery and I was shocked at how heavy most of them are! They were amazed at how "skinny" I've become. I was stunned to watch them load and reload their plates with carb laden food and they were worried about how little I actually ate.

All complained non-stop about various health issues that we used to share (HBP, pain, arthritis, exhaustion, breathing problems, etc...). All also talked about the latest and greatest diets and vitamins and what not that they are following now and while claiming to have lost some weight (5 to 10 pounds), overall, they have all just gotten bigger since I saw them last.

Everyone wanted to know about the surgery, pre-op and post =op procedures and what I could and could not eat now. As I explained, they all also claimed that there was no way they could ever live like I'm living now.

It was eyeopening for me.

And that is why not everyone is cut out to have this surgery. I know a lot of people look at it as an 'easy out'... A cop out... Etc.

The fact of the matter is that we give up a lot (of carb laden foods hahaha) to have this surgery. You have a level of commitment that most likely the majority of your friends don't have.

My question is, how did YOU feel watching all of that eating?

I'm only 2 weeks post op, but I also went to a Memorial Weekend tradition gathering where there were platters and platters of carb laden foods. I managed to find a deviled egg half (that I made), a curry lentil dip that I spooned out, and a bit of guacamole (I'm on puréed right now) and I was satisfied. I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to taste a few of the other things, but #1 my diet restrictions at this point just don't allow me to do that, and #2 I don't want to pile up my plate with all those carbs.

I have a friend *****ally wants the surgery but her insurance doesn't cover it... So she is saving up and looking at going with the band instead of RNY. That night I watched her eat 3 plates of food... Most of it this cold pasta salad, and I just know it couldn't have been that good. 

I'm sure one day I'll try out foods that I'm swearing off right now (I just want to leave all the pasta/bread/rice, etc off the table for as long as possible!!).

Keep going like this and you will get to your goal!!

PS - Are you 22 months or days post-op?  (You said 22 months,, but that is a long time to be on pureed foods)

LOL, my typo!! TWO weeks out ;)

My views on things like this change, every once in awhile I feel as though I could swipe the entire chip aisle in my grocery store into my cart and jump in after them.  But mostly, Sanity reigns. 

I wish that some of my overweight friends would join me on the journey - but if I were them, I would be causcious, because I have never before really kept the weight off long-term.  So maybe at the 5-7 year mark, my friends will realize that WLS is the only proven method that helps keep the weight off for more than 3-5% of people (or maybe by then there will be something else, but I was not waiting around any longer.)

  You're doing great for 2 weeks!!

8 years post op I can eat a real meal. Real normal person meal - not some who overeats.  And it is self imposed restrictions on carbs and qty of food that allows me to maintain my weight loss.  What you learn during first 1-2 years - new habits - will help you long term.  It will not make it easy, but it should make it "doable"

As for your friend- please please please tell her NOT to get the band. The band is a horrible torture device. 

As a self paid - she will have to pay for fills and un-fills, and any complications.  Majority of bands eventually needs to be removed either due to malfunction, or due to damage to the stomach they can cause. Permanent damage. 

If anything else - VSG - maybe a better option for her... Please tell her to research. 

I felt kind of sad for them, actually. For myself, I felt sort of righteous... and then felt guilty for feeling that way. I also felt a little guilty for not cleaning my plate... but eating just "until" is becoming a good habit and one my dog loves me for even more....

At 6 months, you prob have not reached goal wt your views on this whole body, food, and dieting thing will continue to mature.  You may have more compassion for your overweight friends, as a reflection of the gratitude you feel because you no longer have to deal with many of the difficult side-effects of MO - like wondering if a chair will break if you sit on it, GERD, knee pain, etc.  As you continue to reflect as you did in your post, you will develop your own perspective on your overweight friends.

Its hard not to notice things like this now. Sometimes I feel bad when I find myself looking at a person wondering if they are oblivious (like I once was), or working on losing, feel helpless etc. i always am trying to understand how or why people are where they are now.

i don't pay mind to what people eat too closely-- none is us would want to be sized up by the choices on our plate any day of the week, pre or post op. 

It makes me sad when I see friends and family eating the very same way I used to eat. I also never noticed so many morbidly obese people when I also was. I also lost some 'friends' because I no longer talk diets, food ...best places to eat. I try to kind of blend in but people do notice when you only have a small amount of food on your plate. If anyone thinks RNY is the easy way out they really have no clue. I wish I would have been abide to eat 13 years ago like I do now. It's hard.