anyone hear of this insurance issue?

I had my first appointment with the surgeon today. I found out that my insurance will not cover the surgery. Their website says that they will, but the woman at the clinic (who double checked) said they only cover it for the employee (who would be my husband), not the spouse. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing?? How is that even legal?! We have the same insurance,,,they can pick and choose like that, that seems crazy! 

It all depends on how the insurance contract was written between the group and the carrier, if the group is self insured or not, and any number of other issues.  I suggest, however, that you call the customer service number the should be located on your insurance card, and confirm this directly with your insurance carrier.

I've heard of insurers choosing not to carry dependents at all. Can't say I've heard of covering the spouse but excluding them from certain procedures, but I wouldn't be surprised. 

I haven't heard of that specifically but it all comes down to the specific terms negotiated between your husband's employer and the insurer.  The employer's standard plan may cover it but the employer can negotiate changes and exclusions to help reduce their costs.

I'm sorry.  :(

I have heard of this, and it's becoming more common. It's part of the spousal carve outs that are becoming common place b/c of Obamacare. Many employers are refusing to even allow a spouse to be on the employees plan if the spouse is also eligible for insurance at their own place of employment. I'm sorry! I would still call yourself just to double check!

Edited- forgot to add that I don't think they can exclude things that are considered emergency surgery, chemo, etc. They probably consider RNY to be elective, regardless of medical lnecessity.

Sorry to read your predicament.  If it helps any to know, there is a non-invasive weight loss procedure somewhat affordable as a self-pay option.  My local hospital is starting to offer GASTRIC BALLOON for about $5000. 

We decided to pay cash....though we will still continue to argue with the insurance company. The whole situation was crazy. I'm sitting there waiting for my next test and they tell me this, and I just didn't even know what to do...should I even finish the testing? What was the point? I was texting my husband and he told me to do it. That we would pay cash. I was so surprised. He is very cautious and never decides anything quickly, and is not spendy by nature. But he must have known how devastated I was at that moment. We are in a unique situation right now....we are moving. We just sold our house, and we are closing on our new house in a few days. We have some funds aside for doing some work on the new house, most especially the kitchen remodel. So, basically I am spending my kitchen remodel on surgery. Worth it.