Unmotivated and struggling

Hey everyone! 

Its been a while since I have been on here and I have missed it. 

I need your help... It has been 5 months since my rny and I'm down 70lbs. Everything was going great and then I started having some issues in my personal life which has caused me to want to slip back into old habits of stress eating. I have a 7 and 5 year old so I keep snack foods in the house which is an easy go to when I'm feeling down and depressed even though i buy them food that i personally do not like. Its a mental thing of snacking that makes me ignore the fact that i am eating something i don't like. Last week I gained 0.6 and now I'm scared. I don't want relapse into my former life that led me to being 280lbs. On top of stress eating my depression takes any and all motivation to work out away. I'm really struggling.

Please help me get back on track. 

Yes, it is scary. Another week the .6lb gain would be a fluctuation, but when you know your head is not where it should be...it gets scary.

We need to change our thinking. You mention depression, are you in therapy? Something to consider if you are not. It may be difficult to do with small children, but being there for them healthy both mentally and physically is important in the long run.

You need support. Come on here daily. join the daily menu post. It will help to keep you focused.

White Dove, a long time successful vet,  just mentioned this morning a book I hadn't heard of before....but I am ordering it.

The Emotional First + Aid Kit: A practical Guide to life after Bariatric Surgery

Also in the practical sense... kick the carbs to the curb. White knuckle it for a few days and you will feel so much better. Once you start with the snacking it is hard to stop. Eat dense protein, not just yogurts, cottage cheese etc... Protein first!

I second the Emotional First Aid kit book; very well written and it's helped me a lot.

 Life has a way of getting in the way of our plans, doesn't it?

There is no easy way ( I know you didn't ask for an easy way ) to rid yourself of the desire to eat emotionally. I've been there, believe me. It's hard work overcome emotional eating.

Have you seen a counselor regarding emotional eating? Can you see one?  Are you on anti-depressants? If you are, do you need a med adjustment? I had to switch to a sustained release pill instead of extended release, and that did the trick for me. If counseling isn't an option at the moment, I'd journal. I've kept a journal since I was 16 and I first realized I was depressed. That thing has been my salvation at times. I could write the darkest, most messed up thoughts in it...and I'd feel better just having put those feelings and thoughts down on paper. It helped to get it out of my head. If journaling isn't a good fit, find another outlet. You need to do what you can to stop wanting to eat when you're upset. I commend you for coming here and posting this. It's great that you're nipping this in the bud.

I wouldn't sweat working out right now. Focus on getting those carbs out of your system by eating only dense proteins and a small amount of healthy fats for meals for a few days, and drink plenty of water or other non-caloric ( not soda ) liquids. Make sure you aren't drinking with your meals or before that ( at least ) 30 minutes after. Exercise can come later.

Put the kids' snacks out of sight. Make them harder for you to access if that will help.  I won't tell you not to buy them for them, or to get rid of them because that just isn't realistic in most cases.

You've come this far. You owe it to yourself to go the rest of the way.

Thank you so much for your replies. I sat here reading them and almost started crying. I need this kind of support. Your words touched my heart. 

I am going to cut out carbs immediately. 

I see a psychiatrist for my depression and anxiety because after my daughter was born I had post pardum that turned into clinical depression. I probably need a counselor though to help me figure out the root of my problems. I will look into that on Monday. Unfortunately the issues I am currently dealing with won't go and at any time soon so I need to learn to live with them and not sabotage myself. 

I really appreciate you reaching out to me. 

At this point the snacks for your children are not good for you.  Most kids can get all the junk food they really need at school - switch them over to healthy snacks.  Even if they are underweight, junk food is not good.

I thought about that and have been buying fresh fruit etc trying to transition them but my son refuses to eat anything healthy. 

 That's a parenting challenge. 

Kids will eat most anything they take part in cooking... get him a chef's hat and some utensils and make something together.

When my boys were little, I had very little money and two kids with allergies: One was allergic to soy (found out later that I was, too) and later was actually diagnosed via a biopsy with celiac. The other one was allergic to nuts and shellfish and would break out in hives or start wheezing if he accidentally ingested either. This meant that EVERYTHING we ate had to be made from scratch (back then, there were no gluten free breads or stuff on the market).

I found out I could save a lot of money by feeding all of us very simply with steamed or raw veggies, fresh fruit and meat and potatoes. It was only after they grew up and left home that I reintroduced pasta, bread and chips and cookies and cakes into the household... and low and behold, I gained a ton of weight.

Once I was tested for food allergies and found out I was allergic to soy and cantaloupe (a huge loss for me), I went back to doing more of my own scratch cooking, but left in sugars and breads and pasta. Now that I've had WLS, that stuff is gone and the weight is going.

Portion control has a lot to do with it as well and I suspect if I'm honest about it, when I was poor, there were days I fed the kids, but ate very little myself. I'm not sure I ate as little as I eat now, but that's okay, too.