Disappointed in my spouse

I would recommend reading it.  I read it many times during the first few years and also give it to people I know who have weight loss surgery.

Iloveravens is right, no one cares as much as we do the first year about our WLS. As you said this is a big change for him as well, and he needs room to adjust...whatever that looks like. Ans no he can't relate to weighing and measuring and worrying about what goes into your mouth. Even my friends that were very supportive, I remember talking to them about being on stalls or the weight loss slowing down, and all they could say is "but you are doing so well"...they couldn't get the whole honeymoon period, and feeling the need to push forward.

Counseling sounds like a great idea. Not that you will never talk to him, but maybe there will be more of a balance because you have another outlet. Good Luck!

It's a journey all right. Yours. It's huge and all encompensating..to you.

You need to talk and obsess about it. Come here. Post here. 24 hours a day there is someone who will or has gone through things you want to talk about. There are people who will talk passionately and obsessively about any topic. Trust me..your spouse will be much happier. Mine was.

Deb

I don't know about you, but WLS has been my priority since surgery and changed alot about my life.  Most of us had to become fanatics in one way or another to be successful - I was down 125 pounds the first year so i know the amount of effort and focus it takes.  It's alot for the people around, so it's important to find wider support - I go to my surg's support groups, have friends who had the surgery so I also get support from them, as well as I research WLS and post here.  It seems that you only have your husband and he may not have they skills that you need - it does not mean that he does not love you, just that he does not have the listening skills you want or need at this point in time.  Going to a counselor is great.  I took a 6 week course in Mindful Eating that really helped me. 

I would also challenge you to go to the support group meetings anyway - after several meetings, you will meet some people that you click with. Now that you know what you can expect from the Support Group Meetings - education and some ideas, you might not see them as a total waste of time.   Also. I don't know how far '3 states away is' - in the NE - that's a 2 hour drive, out west - 2 days.  Maybe a long week end with your supportive family will help. 

Keep posting here - some actually people add *****ing to their post title because we all need to do it sometimes.

I totally agree - hang in there.  And appreciate a husband who is not pushing you to lose weight

All the listening skills in the world won't help a person if they're sick of a particular topic.

It is life changing.  It is a big decision to make, one that I don't regret. Early on, my husband said, "I didn't realize this would change my life so much."  His life?  WTH? Because I asked him not to eat fast food in front of me in the early weeks when I was barely consuming anything or I didn't want to watch cooking shows on TV. I will say that for the most part is very supportive and proud, he just wanted his life to be the same. He still gets mad that I won't order appetizers when we go out and complains that he doesn't get to eat them any more. I told him that he still can, but I won't be joining in because then I can't eat my protein at dinner. 

Many people don't want to hear about it all the time, so I tried really hard not to make it the focus of our conversations. I have one friend who was really helpful in the beginning with offering support because her sister-in-law had the sleeve surgery a while back, so she sort of got it.  But in the end, I didn't want my WLS to be the focus of our times together, so I try to avoid the topic for the most part. I had the surgery for me, and it is my journey, so I rely on reading this boards to validate how I am feeling and see what other people are dealing with. It helps.  Also, the reason that I didn't share with co-workers that I had the surgery

It looks like you have the right attitude. Keep it up. 

Thank you all for being so supportive, it truly means a lot.

My husband wasn't very supportive at first.

At the pre op psych eval, I had a WONDERFUL counselor who helped me work out ways to discuss this with my husband. Add in a little bit of me and a few "truths", and he and the kids switched gears. Now he's VERY supportive!

A good bariatric counselor is worth his/her weight in gold! Hope you find a good one soon.

If you want some specifics on what I said to him, I'd be glad to tell you in a private message, but I'd rather not post it all publicly.

I love this forum board - everyone here is so supportive and such a difference from the local support group I went to... bunch of excuse makers, whiners and nay sayers. Here, everyone is TRYING and very helpful and supportive!

Yes please let me know any helpful hints.  Feel free to PM me.

Let's flip this around.

Your husband decides he wants to be a prize-winning chicken breeder. It's something he wants very badly, and he's putting his heart and soul into it. It's the only thing he ever talks to you about, since he doesn't have any local chicken-loving friends and he doesn't like any of the Chicken Growers' Association meetings. "If I can't talk about chickens to you, who can I?" Never mind that you're tried of hearing about poultry, he doesn't care and will keep talking about his hobby.

That's what it's like for him.