Frustrated - feel like a science experiment

Lisa this whole journey is about YOU and YOU alone.  I understand what you are saying.  Sure it would be nice to have that perfect support team around you helping and cheering and being everything you wish they would be......truth of the matter is........we don't live in a perfect world!!  Our friends, family and ourselves included.... are not perfect.  Don't be sad or frustrated by it....people can't magically predict what we want or need from them.  Don't waste your energy on disappointment.  You need to be 100% focused on your plan and getting yourself healthy.  I spent far too many years letting the words and actions of others affect me.  I was sooo miserable!!   Situations would make me upset....and I would eat.

This is a perfect chance for you to prove to yourself that YOU have already within what it takes to change your life.  You don't need anyone but you.  I'm lucky that way because I have always been kind of a loner, and I prefer it that way.  This journey and my success so far hasn't been to the credit of anyone but ME...and that feels good!!!  It just adds to the confidence and power that I have acquired shaping the NEW AND IMPROVED ME!!!!!!

  I had to eliminate a job and certain people and situations that were just not "healthy" for me.  Some of which were family members.  I still see and love them, but I cant be around them often or for long periods of time or I feel myself being sucked back into the "dysfunction and toxicity".   It took me 40 something years to figure this out...but for the first time, I'm putting ME and MY needs first...and its working!!

  Good Luck to you....hang in there-one day at a time....deep breathing is always helpful . The first little while after surgery can be a really emotional time, be good to yourself.

Nià:wen! Thank you!Youre words empower me.

its time for me to get off the pity wagon and just do what has to be done.

i too would turn to food during times like this. I've replaced it with walking so far.

time for me to be reborn!

Thank you again! 

I know this answer :-) you and ME and majority of us here on OH have lost our BFF --food. Then our hormones go crazy and we go wtf have I done. Then people !!!! Sadly in my case anyway, the majority of my 'friends' are morbidly obese. With ME even my family didn't support me. I too felt like I was under a microscope. How much have you lost. ??? It's a way for many to be jealous, make them feel bad about themselves . You get the message. No one wants to go out to eat with me and I found out it was because I make them. 'Feel like a pig'  Come here . We will support you. Hugs !!

Thank you! And yes, I think I'm mourning food. 

So grateful for this board and all of you here.

Trust me I know that feeling all too well too. I am very much open with most my life. However, I chose not to put this on Facebook. I have a great support system with my family and girlfriends at the pool which im hoping to get back to Thursday if my surgeon releases me to do so Tomorrow. 

Its like that when you are pregnant too. EVERYONE is in your business and you get comments you don't need. 

I know we were told be careful of those nair do wells and nosey nellys who may want to sabotage you because they are either jealous of what you are doing or they don't understand. like another poster said listen to you.

I am glad you come on here and im glad i get to come on here too. Many others just like you and me in the same situations. We learn from experience so its nice to have their experiences too so we can make informed choices. Not all their choices will be ours but we will figure this out. 

By the way... how is the diabetes situation?  lol Seriously, hope you are working on remission on that.

You told to many people, your town can't be as small as mine of 204 people, and no one in my town knows, except one life long friend. I like my Privacy. People look at this as an Elective surgery so they don't look at it as anything serious, so that can make for a lack of support, just my thoughts on it. 

I live in a small town too and I have decided to tell a few key people what I am doing.  (Scheduled April 4th)  I have had a few adverse reactions so basically have decided it's my business.  I start with a counselor today and am counting on her to give me ideas on how to change my mindset going forward so I can have a healthy relationship with food.  When people start noticing the weight loss I'm going to tell them I worked hard to lose it and that will be the truth!

Keep your chin up, know you are doing this for you.  Sadly, you're probably going to find out who your real friends are pretty quickly.

Your post made me stop in my tracks... I have a friend, a close friend for the record, that had the surgery on NYE of this year. Every time I see her I ask her how much weight she's lost, I almost get giddy wanting to hear any and all details she will share... I wonder if I'm driving her nuts. I am going to ask her this weekend when I see her if she wants me to back off.

I do this definitely out of curiosity, a bit of envy, and also just because she looks so freaking fantastic that I can't help it! LOL She is also a bariatric nurse, and will be there to take care of me when I'm in the hospital... I don't want her mad at me for being a nosey brat right now ;) hahaha!

I think that most people are genuinely curious, and saying "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight! How much have you lost?" is almost a natural response to seeing your shrink before their eyes... I found, after a close friend's partner unexpectedly died, that I almost always say "Hey, how are you doing?" to someone when I see them... asking her that always makes me feel like I've put my foot in my mouth - and I've had to consciously try to stop myself from doing that - and I also apologize to her every.single.time it slips out of my mouth.

Maybe some of these people are doing the same thing?? More innocent than morbidly nosey?

I think I'm going to use a stock answer of "Not as much as I'd like to lose" or "Almost as much as I'm trying to" or "I've reached my goal!" when people ask - because I know they will...

I was just going to say, i was very private about my surgery. After countless times of losing and failing over and over, I felt I wanted to keep this information for myself. I told my boss, very close friends, and immediate family. One of my family members blabbed to anyone that would listen and I had to have a sit down with her about it. Your health process is no one elses business but yours. My guess is that you told them early on and now they feel like they need to feed the gossip mill by asking how much you have lost.

I would not entertain the conversations if it is bothering you.

It can be frustrating sometimes. I just change the subject to something about them and they forget about me.