Hanging my head in shame...

...because I ate something I shouldn't have eaten on my pre-surgical diet.

My parents are out of town (I live with them) visiting my sister and her kids. I'm not there with them because I'm prepping for surgery on 4/4. I've been on the pre op diet for a week and was doing OK till today.

I was lonely on Easter so I asked a friend to go to Mass with me and then perhaps eat afterwards. I explained my meal restrictions and he was cool with that. He suggested sushi.

Mass was beautiful, and we went to one of the highest rated sushi restaurants in MA. I ate miso soup, and two tuna rolls with rice and a sweet potato roll (5 pieces).

It was so good and I know I shouldn't have eaten it. I'm trying not to beat myself up. I looked at the menu before I went and I foolishly thought I could "wing it" when I went. I know now I should have shunned rice and just had like a tuna appetizer.

I emailed my dietitian to "confess". I hope they won't cancel my surgery. I've learned my lesson and am on the wagon for the rest of the time. One week left...

Thanks for listening.

I hope you don't miss your surgery because of it. Have you looked into a therapist for the food issues?

I do currently work with a therapist. I see her every other week. I'm trying not to freak out about it, and I will get back on track.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd say just eating some great sushi falls really low on the scale.  It wasn't murder or arson.   Yeah, you need to learn how to eat for your health, but flogging yourself doesn't do much good.  

What will work is to be more mindful of your meals.

Hang in there, Kid.

I was pre-op on Thanksgiving 2014.  I was only allowed liquid.  If we absolutely had to crunch something they said we could have a few raw carrots.  I cooked turkey dinner for my family and didn't cheat, that is until everyone went to bed.  I broke down and had a turkey sandwich.  Gosh I felt so guilty.  

If we were all so good at this we wouldn't have needed surgery. Plus is you didn't go for sugar, desserts or chips and things...and you wrote the dietician right away...good for you. So here's to hoping it just is a bump in the road...

I had an Auntie Anne's pretzel 3 days before surgery. I stuck to it the rest of the time and nothing was said and I had surgery last Monday. I do not suggest or encourage cheating but I dont think you've ruined all chances. I personally have no desire to cheat now! I feel like my appetite is nonexistant at this point!

Let go of the shame and guilt  it will drag you down more than going off plan. Forget the word cheated. You don't need to beat yourself up. 

Its a journey. You won't be able to go off plan after or you will be very sick. 

The best advice I have seen on here is that the first 6 months after RNY your body will lose no matter what. Use that 6 months to really work at developing the right habit. Protein forward no carbs or sweets. Eat according to plan, deal with your emotional issues with your therapist or go to OA , identify head hunger , or heart hunger learn how to deal with these 

but get the words guilt, shames out of your vocab. They do more harm than good.  You went to Mass , so I can assume you are a spiritual person, as am I. Take some time daily to meditate and pray and turn over these issues, ask for help and guidance along the way. 

All the best

It was good that you emailed your dietitian. Taking responsibility for your screw-up is a good sign. Learn from it and move on.

I agree so much with you Grim.  What separates this post from so many others is that she has taken culpability -- given the medical consequence to the dietician/surgeon -- which shows that she is serious about her health and is accountable.  

TO the OP: I seriously doubt they will cancel your surgery over this -- and I think it's great that you are working with someone on food issues.  You are setting yourself up to succeed.  Let go of the guilt.  You didn't kill anyone and you are taking responsibility.  Get back on plan and do better today.