How different do people treat you now?

gibbygal
on 3/22/16 8:02 am
RNY on 02/16/16

This is more a question for all the people out there that have been on the program for a while.  I would like to know how differently do people treat you now that you are thinner?  I have a friend who had the surgery that said the same guys who would make fun of her, now try to hit on her.  It disgusts her. Do you notice people treating you different?  I am so excited to hear your replies. 

karenp8
on 3/22/16 8:09 am - Brighton, IL

Yes I do notice that people treat me differently now. I'm not sure if it is because of the weight loss itself or because I have a more positive and confident attitude. I suspect it is a bit of both. I notice more interactions with strangers when I'm out and more doors held open for me too. But I suspect I am probably friendlier too because  I feel better physically and feel better about myself.

   

       

Deanna798
on 3/22/16 9:02 am
RNY on 08/04/15

I can honestly say "I don't know" because before surgery I didn't look at people.  I was embarrassed about the way I looked, so I kinda rushed around not really being interactive with strangers in my life. I did most of my shopping online and avoided crowds, etc.   Oh, my close family and friends treat me the same, but strangers?  i don't really know.

Now I am chatty and outgoing, so people are friendly with me.  I've always been a "talker" and for years I hid behind my fat.  Now that I'm shedding the fat, I'm that lady in the grocery store checkout that annoys you because she's having a full on conversation with the cashier.  Sorry about that. 

Age: 44 | Height: 5' 3" | Starting January 2015: 291 | RNY 8/4/15 with Dr. Arthur Carlin| Goal: 150

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. ~Proverbs 19:20

peachpie
on 3/22/16 12:01 pm - Philadelphia, PA
RNY on 04/28/15

I don't feel like I'm treated differently. The biggest area of my life  I can think of for me is in my career. I worked my a$$ off to prove my value in my workplace. Even at my highest weight I was well respected. Nothing has changed. Do I feel I had to work harder then some? Yeah at times, but not necessarily because of my weight, but because I didn't have the connections someone else may have had. 

I'm married and am not looking for attention from men, but I haven't noticed any kind of spike in attention. 

5'6.5" High weight:337 Lowest weight:193/31 BMI: Goal: 195-205/31-32 BMI

Ladytazz
on 3/22/16 12:23 pm

The sad fact is that people do treat you differently based on appearance.  Ask any cute 19 year old how guys treat her and she will most likely say "Terrific".

I am finding this out more and more as I get older.  It doesn't matter what my weight is, people just treat me a lot differently than they did when I was young.  And the sad thing is I didn't even figure out that I was being treated differently until I wasn't.

The funny part is you can always lose weight but you can never lose years.  You can fight it and have plastic surgery, etc but people can always tell.

That isn't to say I am treated badly because I am older, I am just not treated, I guess the word I have to use is preferential.  Not just by guys though that was a lot of it but by people in general.  I find that when I meet new people they never ask me about myself where as when I was younger people seemed very interested in what I had to say, if that makes sense.

I'm not saying this so people feel bad for me because I don't really feel bad about it.  It's just an observation and there are many perks to being older and not playing those games any more.

It does seem that this applies more to women as far as being judged by appearance but all in all I think we all are guilty of making snap judgments when we first see a person.

What I am trying to say is that we live in a world where looks, age, money and power are what people are drawn to.  Old, unattractive poor people are just invisible.  Ask any advertiser.  Unless it is denture cream or funeral insurance they don't even bother to market to older people.  It's life.  Get used to it because it doesn't look like it's getting better.

 

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

gibbygal
on 3/22/16 12:41 pm
RNY on 02/16/16

I have never been thin.  I was a size 22 in high school.  I was a big girl who just kept getting bigger.  I have heard that when you are thinner people treat you differently.  I am happily married and definitely not looking for extra attention in that area.  I was just wondering what people have noticed since the surgery.  I sometimes feel like people underestimate your intelligence when you are heavy.  Like if you are heavy, you just aren't smart enough to watch what you eat. 

GeekMonster, Insolent Hag
on 3/22/16 1:26 pm - CA
VSG on 12/19/13

There is a perception that fat people are stupid.  It's not true, well, most of the time, but that's the stereotype floating out in the world.

People treat me differently now, and I still have a lot of weight to lose.  Some of it is that I am more approachable and not so self-conscious about interacting with people as I was at 449 lbs.

The most important thing to remember is to treat others who are MO with compassion and respect.  We know their struggles better than anyone else and how difficult life can be.  

"Oderint Dum Metuant"    Discover the joys of the Five Day Meat Test!

Height:  5'-7"  HW: 449  SW: 392  GW: 179  CW: 220

(deactivated member)
on 3/22/16 2:06 pm

I do get treated differently. But I am not sure it is because I always had ***** face on. Or was I being flirty even at 322 pounds?

lynnc99
on 3/22/16 3:34 pm

I have always been pretty outgoing and a hard worker - but yes, people do treat me differently now. I am sure - 110% sure - that I would not have been considered for the job I now have in the technology field if I were still obese. I interact with a lot of professionals who are  younger than I am, and am viewed with respect and friendship. I hate to admit it but obesity would have been a much larger barrier than our age difference. 

NYMom222
on 3/22/16 7:00 pm
RNY on 07/23/14

Yes and No. I was always outgoing, and worked hard and felt respected. I do notice men open doors for me more or ask if I need help, even young men.... There are occasionally people who I have known a long time that all of a sudden seem to be talking to me more.... Nothing drastic...

Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014

Goal reached 17 months. 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16

#lifeisanadventure #fightthegoodfight #noregrets

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