What's the most embarrassing thing you've done for/with food?

Just this week I had a lapse in my plan and overdid it with some nasty carby stuff. Yesterday in the midst of my carb craving cycle, I had the urge to dig through the trash to get some Combos that I had thrown away early in the morning. This is a trash can in the lunch room where 30 people prepare and eat food. The trash can is disgusting and even though I didn't do it, just that I had the very thought of it was enough to stop me dead in my tracks. This went to show me how deeply serious my food addiction is, and helped me to bring it all into perspective.

So, since I just confessed a feeling that I'd had yesterday and was strong enough to resist, I thought I'd confess a terrible food related thing that I've done. I want to acknowledge what my addiciton has been in the past so I can move past it. I used to go to McDonalds for lunch. I'd get the 2 cheeseburger value meal with fries and a diet. then I'd order a double cheeseburger and a McChicken sandwich. I'd eat the double and the McChicken on the drive back to the office. Then I'd take the value meal in and eat it at my desk where my co-workers could see me eat a "reasonable" amount of food.

There have been so many more, mostly with hiding and sneaking food. That's why I really have to force myself to be so transparent with my eating. It's second nature to me to hide.

Anyway, if you feel comfortable, tell me what your most embarrassing thing that you've done for/with food?

I used to buy three or four candy bars and eat them all at once in my car. Then I would hide the wrappers way in under the seat so no one would know. About two years ago I found a wrapper that had been very well hidden and was reminded of that old habit. How things have changed! See you aren't alone either!

At my worst, I'd always be sure I was wearing something with big pockets at work and kept plenty of change.  I'd go stock up on like 3-4 candy bars a day and hide them in the pockets.  I'd always be careful nobody was around, and if somebody did pop in, i'd choose something like mints instead or slip the evidence up my sleeve as quickly as possible.  I've eaten whole birthday cakes, bought lucky charms just for the whole box of marshmallows and tossed the cereal. When I was married to my 1st husband, I'd hide candy bars in a tampon box.  I ate many lunches in the car too - ordering for a 2nd person and dumping the extra soda.  I did it all because "I deserved it"!  So much anxiety, so much insecurity.  UGH!  I vow to never go back to that dark place - I'm done - a day at a time, I'm done!

Well, I lived alone so I did all my porking out at home where no one could see.  But in the fast food drive-through, I would make up people I was ordering for.  As in:  "Well, I'll take a Jumbo Jack and Fries... my husband wants the Crispy Chicken sandwich with onion rings and let's get blank, blank and blank for the kids...."  Of course, it was all for me.

I remember something Tom Arnold said on a talk show about his weight that always stuck with me.  He said he would order $20 worth of Jack in the Box food, and he always hid it from Roseann... not just because he was embarrassed about it (which he said he was), but much more because he didn't want to share any of it.  That was me.  To a T.

Food addiction is a powerful force.  Thanks for sharing.

I love this thread!!!    I think this is a great way to acknowledge our past issues and how we have dealt with them.  

I don't have any stories to share about hiding food or ordering an abundance at a drive thru.  However, I did at the age of 4 years old threaten to run away from home one time (not sure who ticked me off my brother or sister) and I was in the middle of packing my pillow case when my Mom came in and told me dinner was ready.   I asked what we were having and she promptly told me Fried Chicken and mashed potatoes.   I looked at her and back at my pillow case full of stuffed animals, toys and a few pieces of clothing......turned around and dropped the pillowcase, abandoned my idea to carry out my threat of running away and headed to the dining room.        She had me at mashed potatoes!  

I was a hider too. I always eat breakfast at home, but I'd go in to work, act as though I never ate and eat a second breakfast. And if I had a meeting out off the office, a second lunch too, since no one would have known what i already ate.

In my head if no one saw me eat the first meal, it didn't count. I was kidding myself though...They saw everything I ate... on my hips, thighs, stomach and cheeks!! 

Most embarrassing....i can't even think. I probably suppressed those memories.

i lapsed this week too, stupidly brought townhouse crackers into the house. I will never make that mistake again! 

Deanna, I have done the exact same thing.  Hiding my disordered eating was a big deal to me.  We think we're fooling the outside world because we "allow" people to see what we want them to see us eat.  I loved having someone hand me food out of a window in a brown paper sack.  I would those McDonald's double cheeseburgers, fries and DIET COKE on the way home from work, then eat dinner.  And of course I'd have to stop before I was home to discard the evidence.  Utterly insane behavior.

This is a behavior that I still am susceptible to.  If I eat something I feel is "bad" (like a Fiber One bar), I'll put the wrapper in the bottom of the trash can.  It's insane.  It's not like I'm eating a dozen Fun Size Musketeers, but my brain still wants me to hide the evidence.  

My eating disorders therapist told me I should share my behaviors with my husband.  I guess talking about them is supposed to make them easier to confront.  He looked at me like I had three heads.  He had no clue that I felt this way.  It was only after coming to OH that I discovered how common this behavior is with the MO.   The rituals we use to fool ourselves are so self-destructive.

My DH said he could sense when a feeding frenzy was about to take place even way before I'd walk out the door to go eat alone.  I fooled no one.  WLS has helped make the insanity controllable.  For today, anyway.  And maybe tomorrow, too.

The other day as I lay on the couch dumping, I never told my husband what was wrong.  So when I finally got my act together the next day,  I told him what happened.  He told me I didn't have to hide from him and I had to explain to him that it's part of my eating disorder and I'd be working to be open about everything.  

There is such a feeling of shame that goes along with it.  Working on my issues sucks.  

It sucks big time.  I remind myself how far I've come but know it's going a struggle for the rest of my life.