Feeling low, one week after RNY with complications

I am grateful to be alive.

I have faith the surgery wounds will heal and I will be just fine (probably appreciative that I did this surgery) but right now I am feeling very low and suffering from a buyers remorse of sorts about my surgery on March 9th. (I was 250 BMI of 43, with no comorbities.)

I went in for my surgery on March 9th. Initial surgery seemed to go well but my pulse was at 140 and my blood pressure started dropping in recovery. They did chest xrays, bladder scans, blood work etc. The team came to suspect it was a bleed and went in for a second surgery. I needed a lot of blood to stay alive. My abdomen, esophagus etc were filled with blood. They had difficulty intubating me, but were able to repair and stop what they thought was all of the bleeding. Went to ICU where things just never stabilized. At this point, there was a third emergency surgery where they found additional bleeding both internally and externally in my bowel. This was repaired as well, but unfortunately my entire lower GI was filled with blood and it has also contaminated my abdomen so there was concern for sepsis. Having the blood evacuate your body is also a messy, gross and humbling business. Thank God for nurses, who I truly believe are a special breed of exceptional people.

I spent the next few days stabilizing in ICU. Moved to the reg ward where they began simply monitoring me. I asked to go home ASAP because hospitals are noisy and I thought I might do better at home.

So here I am. I have a partially collapsed lung with some fluid - all part of the trauma of anesthetic and those rapid surgeries. I am distended and sore. My abdominal wall is badly bruised. I feel like I have been hit with a truck, although the pain is not intense, I am fatigued and sad.

I also received A LOT of blood and have a few more complications around disease testing later on, iron etc.

The first few days after surgery I was elated to be okay. Today, the stress of those few days started to roll out of me. I thought I was going to die. My partner thought I was going to die. The doctors said I am a fighter and have a damn strong heart. I knew there could be complications, we specifically talked about it, but it still sucks. 

**I know there are people who have had a worse go then me. I could really use some hang in there and you won't regret this type support though.

-Joanne

First of all I just want to say WOW . You have really been through it and I'm glad you made it through all of that. I pray you have A speedy recovery and I can't imagine how overwhelmed you feel taking in everything that happen to you . 

It seems it wasn't your time to go...I hope that you have a lot of support right now and you'll be in my prayers as you continue to get better, stronger, every single day. 

I hope I don't offend anyone on these boards by saying so but it seems that you are blessed and God Had his hand on you as well as the team of surgeons to find the bleeding before it was to late. 

Don't minimiize your experience... Who cares what anyone else had happen?  Your experience sucked!!!  That being said, I am glad you are on the mend. 

Even people who had picture perfect surgeries go through some depression/buyers remorse in the first weeks. It is a huge hormone release, ans breaking up with food is not as easy as we think it is. I told. My psychiatrist it is like going through the stages of grief. 

I too had life threatening complications, scary stuff. I can tell you that at almost one year it was all worth it. I didn't have any co morbities either, but they were just around the corner. 

Take care of you and the rest will follow! 

I hope everything goes smoothly from here on out. You have many people holding you in their prayers to free stronger every day.

it may seem hard to believe but one day you will feel so good, you will be glad you had your wls.

My goodness you have had a rough time, but you know something it will get better and better.  It may take a bit longer for you due to the complications you had (thank god they got them sorted out).

Take it one day a time remember to sip your water and walk (if your allowed to).  In 6 months you will look back and say "yup that sure was a nightmare, but look at me now". 

You got this.

Just wow... Glad you will be ok!

I'm having my surgery on Monday and am concerned about bleeding as well... I'm a high risk bleeding patient due to a blood disorder.  They already have my blood bank id bracelet on me.  It's scary.  They say i'll be fine, but you just can't help yourself but worry.

Sounds like you are on the road to recovery and down the road you will be glad you did it.  I know as nervous as I am, I'm not stopping, I need this.

Take care!

Paula

You are a warrior. 

All I can say is WOW! You have been through so much. Most of us,even without complications have sadness and buyers remorse. I will be praying for a speedy uneventful recovery for you now. One day soon you will look back on this and be glad you went through it all. This journey is life changing in so many ways. I am almost 4 years out and down 150 pounds. Life is so much better than I could have ever imagined. And I promise you,you will get there too! Just take it one day at a time and know we are all here cheering you on !

I can't imagine going through what you have had to. You are so strong!

Everyday will get a little better and you will come through this as a champ. The other comments are right, move as much as you are able to and get in your liquids and try for your protein. As time goes by it does get easier!

You've been thru a helluva lot!  I think you'd need a really good cry to get out all the stress and fear you've suffered thru!  So, geez, cry it out, rant here and yell at everybody if you have to!!  I had a bit of bleeding after surgery too and yes, blood clearing the digestive tract is beyond awful.  But, it does get better!  I was re-admitted with bloody BM's and although not nearly as harrowing as your experience, I was scared to death too and at that time full of buyers remorse.  Just keep telling yourself that every day its going to get better.  Get LOTS of rest, sip, and walk.  Truly, go easy on yourself!  BIG HUGS TO YOU!!