Debbie-downer :(

I'm so back and forth about this decision. I want it and think I need it, but then I get to thinking about my reasons and second guess myself. I have severe osteoarthritis in both knees and lower back, thyroid issues, but other than that I'm healthy. No high BP, at one point I was told I was pre-diabetic but it wasn't confirmed. I don't get heartburn and my blood work comes out fine. I've been on Nutrisystem off and on since March 2012 and have lost at times but I always end up gaining it back. I lose weight when I diet. It's when I get off of it that it all comes back. Grrrrr  Am I being stupid for wanting wls? Will I even pass the psych eval? Will my surgeon think I need it? I'm 5'6", 46 yo, CW is 265 and my bmi is 42.7. One problem I'm thinking about is everyone saying that they couldn't gain even 1 lb during the waiting period. I have to do 12 months diet for my ins and feel a lot of things could go wrong during it. I'm always gungho about dieting but I yoyo diet really bad. I'm scared to get denied because of this. You know, it's very mental for me too. I keep thinking I can do it on my own with diet and exercise, but always fail. I'm not a big eater. A lot of times I go until 5 pm or later before I eat food. I just eat the wrong things and I usually get a lot of my calories that are liquid calories (ie Coke, coffee). It's also very mental when I get to thinking about how I used to be. Can you believe I used to be a Stripper? HA! That is soooooooooooo hard mentally to think about. Of course that was '96-'99! But still! Would I even pass the psych eval with this all being so mental for me? I'm going to the informational session on April 7th and they said they would set me up with a surgeon after that. I can't wait, but I'm going to ******vous wreck by then. lol I have a long haul in front of me and that's just to get approved! This is all I think about now. lol The long haul and do I really deserve it.

Sorry for being a Debbie-downer, but I'm so unsure. HELP!

Most people who need weight loss surgery never have the opportunity, the finances, the insurance and the nerve to go through with it.  They spend their lives on diets and always regain the weight.  It is up to you whether you will be determined and strong enough to go through with it or whether you will just accept your weight and continue your failed diets.

Have you been on any programs before that help you learn how to eat healthy?  I.e. educate you about protein, fat, carbs and calories?  If not, I suggest you find such a program or visit a dietician to educate you on these things.  You may find you don't need the surgery once you know how to eat properly and not be on a "diet" to lose weight, but change your overall diet to something healthy and manageable.  

Another issue you may have that a lot of people have is emotional eating.  You may want to see a therapist and explore that possibility.

Resolving unhealthy eating patterns and emotional issues around food could even be the difference between success and failure post-op.

Yes. I know how to eat right. Just doesn't work.

It's good that you are thinking about it constantly...that means you aren't taking this lightly. Surgery is a big step..and a big deal. I know I had to do some serious soul-searching before deciding to go for it. Lots of people have those same thoughts and doubts. Even being wheeled into the operating room, I had a final thought of "Hmm, should I make a break for it??" It's totally normal to question yourself.

You are NOT stupid for wanting WLS.

The surgery will help you keep the weight off if you work with it. That is the big difference vs losing and trying to maintain without surgery. We still have to work at keeping the weight off, but with a pouch or a sleeve the amount of food we eat is never even close to what someone without surgery can eat. We still have to make good food choices. There are post-op behaviors we adopt that help ensure our getting to goal and maintaining a healthy weight for the long haul. The most successful of post-ops never stop measuring/weighing their portions, they always focus on protein first, they never drink with their meals, and they log everything they eat-even if they screw up.

Have you gone in depth to find out precisely what the insurance requirements are? If you happen to gain any weight while on the diet, does that put an end to the process?

It sounds like you're a good candidate physically. I have arthritis in my right knee, it's bone on bone, and hurt alllllll the time. Now, it twinges if I overdo it, but day to day, I have no pain at all. I didn't have high blood pressure at the time of my surgery, but my BP had started to creep up. I was pre-diabetic at one point too, but not for years prior to surgery. 

You do have to be mentally ready for the surgery, and that is the biggest hurdle for a lot of people. I am, and always will be, an emotional eater and even at almost 3 years out, I have to work at NOT eating when I'm bored, sad, pissed off, or even happy. It is not easy, but it's so worth effort that it takes. When it comes to the psych eval, be totally honest, even if that means delaying surgery until you ARE ready.

I wanted surgery so bad I would have done it myself , ha. This is not a 'diet' it's a whole new way of life. Good luck whatever you decide