What changes have you made since RNY surgery?
The point I'm trying to make is to be compassionate and respectful toward other people. Changing one's lifestyle is a very difficult process for most people and many of us go through phases that hinder our progress. Denial is one such phase. In a perfect world, everyone would have fixed all their issues by the time of surgery, but the reality is that some people struggle and have to continue to work at it. I don't think it's right to judge that someone's mentality is undesireable because they are at a different stage in their journey than you are.
I think you are confusing compassion with enabling.
There's nothing compassionate or respectful about allowing someone to lose their opportunity by fostering denial. Everyone struggles. Laura struggled, I struggled -- every vet here has struggled -- but overcoming a struggle never comes from someone encouraging denial and lack of culpability.
Those of us who have made it out the other side know every excuse in the book -- and it isn't compassionate not to point it out. It's cowardice.
It takes a lot of courage to change.
"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat
Everyone is at their own stage in this journey. For some people, it takes longer to accept that they need to change old habits. That one person that's making excuses today probably knows deep down inside what they need to do. They just might not be ready yet.
It's not something to look down upon or be upset with yourself if you find yourself making excuses. It's better to make changes properly for yourself than force yourself into a mould and find yourself breaking it, because you rushed things and skipped necessary phases along the way.
If you're not ready to accept that you have to make permanent changes to your lifestyle, you are not ready for WLS. Period.
I see that you haven't had surgery yet. It would benefit you greatly to listen to the people on OH who have been there, done that and have been successful at keeping their weight off. They have been through the trenches and are wiser than you or me.
"Oderint Dum Metuant" Discover the joys of the Five Day Meat Test!
Height: 5'-7" HW: 449 SW: 392 GW: 179 CW: 220
> If you're not ready to accept that you have to make permanent changes to your lifestyle, you are not ready for WLS. Period.
I agree with you. But some people go through with it anyway to try to rid themselves of co-morbidities, but still struggle with issues like binge eating disorder or just old bad habits. Some go on to fix these problems post-op and have success. Some, not so much.
My original point was that we should respect other people and not put ourselves on pedestals because we have had more success with our troubles than others. It's what I thought was inferred by Laura's post, but I may have read too much into it, as someone else pointed out.
Surgery is suppose to be the last resort. But is only a tool.
Plus having the surgery carry its own risks associated with that. Specially RNY. Long term complications.
If someone is not ready to face the responsibility and have the commitment - that person is probably better off not have the surgery in a first place. I don't Laura is looking down at anyone - she if very realistic.
Because if the person does not take that seriously - the consequences can be really bad. When gaining all the weight back - would be the last one...
I know a few people who had the same surgery I did..almost 8 years ago. Some, who did not take the responsibility gained a lot , if not all of their weight back. Plus, they deal with long term issues post op WLS, like low iron, RH, and other vitamins minerals deficiencies. And they can't take any NSAIDs for their back - knee-hip pain...They are worse that they were before they started the WLS process...
Judgment from her? hardly. Realistic view based on years postop IRL and on here OH..
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Everyone is at their own stage in this journey. For some people, it takes longer to accept that they need to change old habits. That one person that's making excuses today probably knows deep down inside what they need to do. They just might not be ready yet.
It's not something to look down upon or be upset with yourself if you find yourself making excuses. It's better to make changes properly for yourself than force yourself into a mould and find yourself breaking it, because you rushed things and skipped necessary phases along the way.
If you're not ready to change old habits, you should not be having surgery.
Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!
on 2/22/16 12:31 pm
Laura is not looking down at anyone. She is just stating how she feels, This surgery is life changing. Laura has done an amazing job at losing her weight. She is also kind and very helpful and caring when someone needs help.
I have not been perfect in my journey. I come here for help. I have not always heard what I wanted to hear. But I would listen and think about what I was told.
There are a lot of vets here who truly want us all to do well. Changing habits before surgery does make the transition easier. I am a food addict. I am not ashamed of it. I still have to stop myself if I feel like I am going on a bender. It can happen quite easy.
Laura has also taught me to love myself before and after surgery. It's not about changing our stomachs and eating less. Our head has to be in it also.
