Dont do it

Thirty five years ago, after spending my life since age 11 overweight, then obese, then morbidly obese, I managed to diet for the first time ever and lost 80 lbs.

And then I became anorexic, bulimic, alcoholic and drug addicted.  And I didn't have surgery.

What I had was a major change in my life along with a loss of the only coping mechanism I knew to cope with things, my food.

I am an addict.  Just plain addict.  It could be food, drugs, spending, sex, alcohol, gambling, shopping-all of which I have abused at one time or another, but whatever it is, if it ever made me happy, feel good, forget my problems or give me courage, I used it and used it until it almost destroyed me.  And when I couldn't do that any more I found something else to do that would.

Have you ever seen that game they have at Chuck E. Cheese?  It's called Whack a Mole. 

The goal is the hit the mole's head when it pops up.  So you hit one and another pops up so you hit that one and 2 more come up.  As you are hitting those another 3 jump at you.  That was me and my addictions.  Whenever I addressed one, another one or two was there to takes it's place.  It's who I am.

I don't blame my addictions because of my surgery.  I blame my surgery because of my addictions.  It was only one tool I had in treating the mother addiction, at least for me, which is food.  I call it my mother addiction because it was the first one, which I believe started at birth, when I figured out that what I was putting in my mouth tasted good so I wanted more.  I always wanted more.  It was the first and it probably will always be there and the only treatment that has helped me in dealing with it has been the surgery.  Nothing else worked long term.

Of course it comes at a price.  Everything has price tags.  I can do whatever I want, as long as I am willing to pay the price.  And I had surgery knowing full well what the price was having had WLS in 2002 and having all kinds of issues, many of which were my own fault because I didn't do what I was supposed to do.  So when I had my revision I knew exactly what it would entail to make it work and to stay healthy.  And I was willing to pay that price.

I think most people who have WLS know there is a price to their health potentially.  Even people who follow all the rules can have issues.  And some who don't follow the rules do okay.  But for most of us, when we sign up to have WLS we know it will require a major life change in order to be successful and healthy.  That is why they require a psych eval to help us understand and have an opportunity to work through some of the issues that cause us to turn to excess food.

How you got through the psych eval I don't know because I haven't seen one sentence where you took any responsibility for your actions and your health.  It's always because of something out of your control.  You didn't abuse food, you were just hungry.  You aren't an alcoholic, it's because you had WLS.  As long as you have this attitude you will remain a victim and unable to make any changes because you can't change anything outside of your control and the only thing you can control is yourself and you can't changes things that you can't (or won't) acknowledge are your responsibility. 

Good luck to you.  It sounds like you are going to need it.

Ladytazz,

I'm with you - you went after a big mole (obesity) so you could live longer and wack those other moles.  I'm so with you.  Like many here have said, "WLS only fixes your stomach, not your head."  Yeah, to working on your head!!

Invictus:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole.

I thank whatever Gods may be,

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of cir****tance,

I have not winced or cried aloud.

Under the budging's of chance,

My head is bloody, But unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,

Looms but the horror of the shade.

And yet the menace of the years,

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

how charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of MY soul.            By.  William Ernest Henley

We're all just Schrodinger's cat anyhow. The earth is the box. And all we know for sure is that we live about 75 years. The rest is conjecture.

Is it solipsistic in here,  or is it just me? 

Since OH is my admitted addiction now, I appreciate these little bursts of intellectual growth.  Quantum physics!  Philosophy!  Vocabulary!  Poetry!  And Sparkle Kitty's usual statistical significance lesson.

All this in the middle of a real-life case study of the social studies/health lesson.  Another great day on OH! Best xfer ever.

Join us at the next meeting of bon vivants, sybarites, devout agnostics, and amateur subversives.

Who are you callin' an amateur?!?  

Sybarites... NICE!

It's Greek, not Latin. But it was a city in Italy, so is that close enough?

Hey, you get points for it regardless because I always love it when friends use obscure words and references (things that many people IRL give me a hard time about, or just look at me like I have two heads)!  I love having literate, well-educated buddies. 

Just think of how many people learned a new word (or two) when they read this.