Old friends

I can say I have met wonderful people in my life. However I only have really two close friends. One is doing gastric bypass with me, though I feel like we are not on the same page. Everyday I get texts saying I want to go to the gym so we make a time to go. Then after the day or time comes she always has an excuse to not go. Like she wants me to Waite on her and not be successful. I have to lose 20pounds by April and just feel like I can't bc she's always dragging me down. It's not only the gym, but she gets info from another friend of hers about gastric bypass and tells me that this is how your supposed to do it. But I listen and don't do it bc i know it's not right. Just feeling like why even bother talking to her if everyday is a repeat... Sorry this might not be anything people want to read but I needed to vent. I'm the only one in my family that will be getting this, I'm excited and have their support. So has anyone gone through a friend that is there but only puts negative in along with wanting you not to succeed? 

Your weight loss has absolutely NOTHING to do with your friend's support. I guess I don't understand when you say, "I have to lose 20 pounds by April and just feel like I can't because she's always dragging me down".  Don't rely on others to motivate you.  It never works.  You have to take care of you and your friend is responsible for only herself.  If she doesn't want to get with the program, so what?  You just keep pushing yourself forward and get healthy.  You don't have to say a word to her about it.  There is nothing stopping you from going to the gym by yourself.  You don't need her approval to lose weight.

Going to the gym is great and really good for stress relief and general well-being, but it is not the most important part of weigh loss.  You can lose weight with out stepping foot in a gym.  Losing weight is ALL about what and how much you eat.  

Stick to proteins and non-starchy veggies.  Stop eating pasta, bread, rice, potatoes, crackers, sugar, chips, etc.  Limit fruit to one small serving per day.  Don't drink your calories (stick to calorie free drinks like Crystal Light) and the weight will drop off.  This is the way you will have to eat after surgery, so it will be great practice for you now.  

The best solution is to have a conversation with her. You don't have to be confrontational or make her feel less than but make your needs known and let her know ways you could use her support. Let her know how somethings are bothering you. That's the only way you will find peace and be able to get rid of the negativity you feel without ditching her all together. 

I totally get having a friend like this and it is a bummer and can drag you down  but don't let it  I've learned a lot lately about setting boundaries with friends and voicing my needs  it's hard as hell but I usually get so much relief and things don't eat at me anymore  

wish you the best  

Part of being a grown-up is making your own decisions.  If you want to go to the gym and your friend doesn't show up, just go.  It's her loss.  In the meantime, you are getting healthier, and that is your goal.  If she doesn't want to do what she needs to do, you can't make her, but you CAN do what YOU need to do for your own health.

In a year, when she's scarfing up ice cream or a soda, and moaning about wanting to lose weight, you won't be there to hear her because you're hiking, or going to Acapulco, or doing something really fun, and you will know how your new life feels.

Go for it, Kid.       

This is why i absolutely HATE, HATE, HATE, the buddy system when it comes to weight loss/exercise. All it takes is one of you not to have your heart in it and usually both end up giving up. I waited for YEARS for my hubby and I to tackle our weight together-- I'd still be on the couch stewing had I continued to wait on him.

You can absolutely lose 20# by April if you focus on you and drop the dead weight on non-committed friends/family. Form a circle of truly supportive people... these boards, a different friend or just go at it alone. 

I'd venture to guess its not that your friend doesn't want you to succeed-- she probably doesn't want you to be any more successful than she is.

It is time to find New friends.  Sometimes friendships end.