I feel like a failure.

I know this is going to sound whiny but I need to vent to people who'll understand.

I had my surgery in June 2012.  I lost 115 pounds.  I'm at 298.   But, I've completely stopped losing.  I even gained 3 pounds over the past month.  

I guess I just screwed up.  I have friends who had the surgery and they look so different.

I've been told that I have issues with my metabolism.  I try very hard to eat on a schedule but sometimes I'm just not hungry especially in the morning.  When I do eat on a schedule, I've been told that I'm still not getting enough calories.

I've started increasing my workout.  I started teaching at a new school so I was off with the new schedules and meetings but I've settled in now.  

I feel like crap most of the time.  My levels are usually off and I'm pretty sure I've become super anemic.

I feel like I know what to do and I feel like I don't know what to do.  

I'm sad, lost and depressed.

I'm sorry you are feeling down. But there is good news! Your tool is still intact and you CAN lose more weight.  You just have to start from scratch. 

Plan

Track food

Take your supplements

Move as much as you are able. 

I'm still a newbie, but I struggle even now.  My metabolism is jacked, I've been on high doses of synthroid in the past. That won't stop you from losing as long as you get back to basics. Low carb, dense protein. At least 64oz of water. Keep your calories low.  

You CAN do it if you choose.  

Come here and post your menu everyday. We are here to support you.  

It is hard not being where you want to be. I found after a year the weight loss slowed dramatically. You are over 3 years out so most likely you do not have any malabsorption anymore, only restriction.

I would find out what 'issues with my metabolism' actually means. Do you have thyroid issues and has that been checked?

I am not particularly hungry in the morning so I drink fluids, water, tea, and coffee as well as some kind of protein drink. If you don't like shakes or cold drinks, I have been heating up my premier protein like hot chocolate lately or putting unflavored protein powder in my coffee, although I need a flavored creamer or SF Torani syrup in it to mask the flavor.

I am not sure who told you you aren't getting enough calories, but I would be more concerned with am I getting my fluids in? and am I getting enough protein in? and am I keeping my carbs lower? Am I taking my vitamins? 64 oz of fluids and 60-80g of protein are just minimums.

Log your food on MY fitness Pal... even if you don't do it forever do it for awhile so you can make sure of what you are actually doing.

Go back to basics, white knuckle getting off the carbs and you most likely will begin to feel better. and take your vitamins!

There is plenty of support on OH and great information to read. Stick around.

Vent away.

A couple of things... sad, lost, depressed... that can make you feel like crap.. anemia, labs off.... that can make you feel like crap... not getting enough nutrition... that can make you feel like crap... major changes like new jobs that mess with your schedule... you get the point...

So game plan if this was me...

Build your support team: A visit to your PCP or if you are still near your bariatric surgeon...  get your labs done (be sure to request a bariatric panel with things like B12, Iron, Ferritin, on it) get that anemia issue dealt with and anything else that may need adjusting.

Dietitian appt: tell them about your schedule and morning eating issue, might want to bring a week or 2 of what you are eating (print out from an app or website)

I would ask about a referral to a therapist to chat about the depression stuff. Keep chatting here and if you can get in a real word WLS Post Op Support Group too.

A few things... you are not a failure... lose that word ;) Comparison is the thief of joy... do you. Chronic disease = chronic treatment. No finish line to this. Changes in life, require an adjustment of your sails. Time to adjust. 

Best,

Trust me....you didn't screw anything up.  It's called plateau.  I plateaued for almost a year and a half.  It happens to us all.

I know you are struggling and it's making you depressed, but we are here with you in the struggle and depression.  It happens to the best of us.  The key is how you get out of this rut and move forward in your weight loss goals/jorney.

I'm 8 years out, and I struggle everyday with exercise and eating right, but I know in my mind that I don't want to go back to being that unhealthy fat person I was 8 years ago.  That is my motivation.

I know you CAN DO IT! It will time and patience, but you will succeed my dear...you will succeed.

We're all here to always be supportive to you, so don't fret. You've got friends on OH who are going through, or have been through the same issues you are currently going through.

Take care and God bless you always!!

Check out my OH blog below.  Hope it helps.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/members/holiday1971/blog/2016/01/ 24/the-weight-loss-struggle-is-real/

Please get your iron checked right away. Anemia is serious.

You are not a failure. You have gotten off track, but you can correct that. It is really helpful to eat on a schedule and plan your meals. I like to prepare lunches for the work week on Sunday. I also keep beef jerky in a single serving pouch in my desk drawer. The more I plan ahead, the less room I have to eat off plan. Measuring and tracking is important, too. Most of us are awful at recognizing a serving size, and we underestimate the amount we eat.

You can do this. I hope you stay active here.

Hugs... I do feel for you... 

Anemia, low proteins , low vitamin levels ... Will cause depression, low energy... I've been there... I pulled myself out by going to the doc and getting iron infusions. Getting B12 shots, and overall increasing my vitamins and minerals I was taking. Getting more proteins - even if I had to force myself to do that.  

Having surgery - I made a decision to make my health my priority.  A few time I would slip - then I would pick myself up and start all over again. 

But .... I doubt you don't eat enough calories. You probably eat more (on average) than you think. Not counting every bite can makes us think that.  I've done that myself. 

I have some issues eating so I have many days that I just nibble... And most of the time I don't eat breakfast (my pouch hates early food - even protein shakes).. But even when I thought did not get enough calories... Adding those "bites and nibbles" showed me that not only I had enough..but most of the time I had to much... Too much carbs, too much fat and just ..low proteins... 

You need to eat more proteins foods... And less other foods... 

Take care of your health... if you don't who will? 

I'm so sorry that you are depressed. Listen to the experts here and start over. Keep moving because it helps with the depression. It works for me. Remember to be good to yourself and say loving things to yourself. You have come to the right place. Thank you for reaching out. My thoughts are with you. You can do this.

Robin

So depressed and sad is what probably helped you get bigger and bigger, it was for me.  I'd look at the scale feel bad and then in a few months it'd be worst, and I'd eat worse too.  So let's take the positive you are not gaining it back, yes a few lbs but normal weight moves that much in one day.  So you are in a holding pattern, that's not a terrible spot.  

So my one suggestion is take a look at your sugar intake.  Total calories might not be the issue but what the calories are comprised of may be.  If you want to take a look at issues sugar can cause look for a documentary on called Fed up, it offers an interesting look at how sugar is a big factor in weight gain, and while we consumers are looking for low fat products those often have a lot of sugar in them which isn't exactly helping anyone out.

Try to find some happiness in the things you can do now that you have lost over 100lbs, think of doing more things like that with an even bigger loss.  Being positive and focused will get you back on track. 

Not exactly a failure, so much as a possible late bloomer.  Some people get their surgery, learn how to get to goal and learn how to stay there and they do it quickly.

Some are slow learners.  You might need a refresher course to get you back to losing weight.  Weigh****chers, a therapist, Overeater's Anonymous are things that might help.

Before surgery I had a huge collection of diet books.  One of them was called,  If I Am So Smart, Why Can't I Lose Weight?

That title caught my attention because I consider myself to be smart so why was I walking around with all this excess weight?

Even with surgery it took me a long time to accept that my weight is a direct result of what I eat.  When I finally admitted that my problem was not thyroid, not hereditary, and not impossible to overcome, then I finally learned how to get the weight off and keep it off.

I weigh and measure my food.  I plan my meals and my exercise.  I track my weight as well as  BMI, fat percentage, bone weigh****er weight, and muscle weight.  I track calories, exercise, sleep, heart rate and blood sugar.  I take all my vitamins and supplements.  I get yearly labs and track results.  I drink my water and stay hydrated.  I track fat, protein, calories, fiber and carbs.  I got to goal and make sure I stay there. 

In the end it comes down to how hard I want to work to get what I want.  Nobody can do it or me.  It is truly a do it myself project.