All the voices

So, I'm not telling everyone about having surgery, but I am fairly open and am telling family and close friends and co-workers. My mother started on me last night, (she's a nurse), said she had cared for a patient who had RNY 22 years ago and since has had like 25 surgeries. I'm a RN as well, so I know the risks, as well as the fact that RNY 22 years ago was likely a much different surgery than it is today.

But I won't lie, hearing negatives, or possible bad outcomes, in addition to complications messes with my head.

I know one way to avoid this is to just not tell people, but like I said, I'm a pretty honest person. I'm not going to tell everyone I know, but neither am I hiding it.

What other tactics have you veterans used to help "redirect" the conversation nicely when someone starts down that road? With my Mom, I just told her that there may indeed be complications, but I was willing to take that chance versus the much greater chance of having multiple health issues as I age. She understands, is just worried.

If you have your surgery, follow your plan, drink your water and take your supplements, there is a good chance of no complications ever.

If you do have a problem, you just deal with it as it happens.

Well I am not a veteran, but I think it is natural for anyone that has ever heard of the surgery to say what they heard. Doesn't make it true- plus in your mom's case, that was a long time ago and the technology and processes have changed.

My mother went on about people that she knew that had regained some or had major issues- like someone that would only eat applesauce and my mom thought she was 'trying to be anorexic because she didn't hardly eat'. I tried to remain calm and just help her understand the reasons that sort of thing would have happened. It also helped to have my mom in the hospital, the surgeon took both her and my husband and father aside and talked to them after the surgery. I think that alone helped a bunch with apprehension.

I told my sister, mom, dad, stepmom and a few close friends and my boss. I specifically asked others not to share my information (not that the tactic worked since we have a blabbermouth in the family who told my aunts and uncles and anyone else she came into contact with). And yes I'm still very angry about this...

I just told people "thank you for sharing that" and oddly enough it seemed to end that aspect of the conversation. 

I learned to say something similar and it works well, too..."thank you for your concern, I'll take it under consideration."  The only problem with it, my DDs use it on me.

Anytime people ask me what I'm doing to lose weight I tell them eating less and moving more. If they press for specifics I tell them I started running- and love it. Usually that ends up turning the conversation into them telling me about their bad knees and how they can't run :-)

Of the people that I have told about surgery-- none have given me the 'I know someone who ___ from surgery'. My Mom is the only one who cautions (lectures) me about regain-- but since she's my Mom-- I'll give her a pass.

I love your attitude.  Granting moms passes; I'm going to request my two daughters to grant me a lifetime, unlimited pass and see what happens.  

I guess I have been lucky, but no one that I told had anything negative to say.  I have openly spoken about it on Facebook,  and all responses have been positive. 

I do remember a slight hesitation when my younger brother responded to my text message. He is a morbidly obese vegan who likes to talk about the virtues of eating meat and how unhealthy it is.  

I know when is people close to you,  it can be overwhelming and stressful, but I just keep thinking back to this time last year,  how I couldn't even go grocery shopping without getting winded. I couldn't shave my own legs,  and I was having a hard time reaching my own behind to clean myself after I went to the bathroom.  Your quality of life will be so greatly improved,  you can't even imagine how awesome it's  going to feel. I KNEW that losing weight would be better for me, but I didn't really get how awesome it would be. 

So,  don't worry about shutting down the naysayers, worry about keeping your spirits up and proving them all wrong. 

I told people that I had multiple problems: high cholesterol, high (really high) blood sugar, climbing blood pressure.  My mother died at 69 years of age from complications of diabetes.  I felt myself in a decline.  I tell people - this surgery has saved my life - literally.  I may have complications (I have had one), but the decline in health that I was facing was certain.  I didn't announce to anyone after a negative person gave me such negative feedback that I didn't want anyone else to give me feedback.  Now I tell them if they ask me how I did it.  I tell them how great I feel, how I tried and failed nearly every diet out there and personal trainers too.  I am so happy with my new self.  I wish I had done it sooner. 

I have come to not really care what other people think.  How I feel is what is important!

I was 65 when I had the surgery and my son was very vocal about being against the procedure.  I prayed a lot and finally it was the fact I was too scared to age the way it was headed.  I had HTN, diabetes, sleep apnea, and not to mention a 43 BMI with a family history of heart problems.  There were friends who came up and just said I don't want you to do this, or please don't do this. But, I needed to do this for me.  I had 100 pounds to lose per the doctors goal.  I've lost all but 13 pounds. I am beyond happy.  The surgery was totally the non issue in the whole process.  The pre diet (I had only 2 days) of pure liquid wasn't even the problem.  I know others have two weeks of liquid. Yuk. I was lucky.  The process has been more of an emotional one of how to learn to eat, what to eat and hitting the plateaus that every time ended up being emotional.  My point is - listen to yourself.  I have absolutely zero regrets and that's my story.