My new addiction...do you do this too?

I am so obsessed with the grocery store...but it is not a good obsession. I realized today that I spend an inordinate amount of time wandering through the grocery store reading labels. Now you may say this is a good thing...good choices and awareness of what goes into the food I eat. On this level I would agree. But I realized today that it has become an exercise in futility for me. I actually think I am punishing myself for some reason. It feels like I am searching for my "unicorn" hiding amongst the millions of mediocre horses. You know, that perfect food that has zero calories, a 100 grams of protein and no carbs or sugar, oh and btw it has to taste like Reese's peanut butter cups.

I literally wander along; pick up something that I wish I could eat, read the calories and put it back on the shelf in disgust. It feels like there is nothing that I am "allowed" to have. I read the calories and if it is over 200 I don't even consider it. If the calories seem a bit more reasonable I check the protein, then carbs and then sugars. 99.99% of the time it goes back on the shelf.

Inevitably I leave without buying a damn thing, pissed off because I have wasted my time, discouraged because I am now feeling deprived and disappointed because I feel like I am losing my focus. It's like I'm somehow punishing myself for some reason. And I don't know why.

I guess I need a therapist right? I am so afraid of screwing this up. I've lost 87 pounds and have been at a stand still for longer than I want to admit.

If anyone can shed some light on why I am doing this or how I can deal with it, I would be very grateful.

Thank you. Chris.

I do the same thing but I am looking for things that are very low sodium as my husband is on a low sodium diet. I share your feelings , look for the perfect food, end up discouraged, disappointed and sometimes annoyed. I hate going to the food store...and that is before I start looking for things I can eat! I would think it is part of adjusting to your new life long eating habits. I have  been hunting for those perfect low sodium foods for almost 5 yrs now. Best I can say is it gets easier as you adjust and accept reality disappointing as it is.  Congratulations on losing such a lot of weight. I don't know how much more you want to lose as you say you have been at a stand still for a long time. Maybe what you need next is more exercise rather than perfect foods to get the loss moving again. We all get stuck at times and as we have lost more it seems like it take a lot longer to get moving again. Good luck.

Thanks for your response. It helps to know that I'm not the only one that does this. I truly hope it is just part of adjusting like you said. It's been going on for what seems like so long now I guess I was hoping it would be done by now. I just feel like my resolve is floundering lately. I never had a problem with goodies in the house until just before Christmas. Then all of a sudden I could hear the cookies and chocolate calling my name from the food pantry. I asked my boyfriend to pack it all up and take it to work with him. I can't have it in the house anymore. I'm not strong enough. I actually think I need to get rid of the Skinny Pop popcorn now too. It makes me sad because lately it is the only thing I want to eat and I look forward to having some as a treat at the end of the day. I really need to get this figured out before it becomes uncontrollable. Thanks again for your kind words. Chris

If this really a problem that is too much for you and is taking over your thoughts, your day, your world make an appt to see a counselor who specializes in "eating/bariatric" issues.

That said I didn't start to give myself a break at the food store till I reached the point I would go in there and cry!

If you really need a little treat at the end of your day could your boyfriend monitor that for you? My husband can be lef****ching over goodies and then dole them out. It is a way he can help me. If I were to want more than he gave me he would tell me no along with reminding me this is what I had asked him to do and he is not being mean.

I too find at night I want a little treat. Perhaps because if we eat early it is 4-6 hours before we go to bed! In other words it has been a long time since I ate. So I allow for this treat in my diet plans.

Congratulate yourself for recognizing this issue and trying to find a solution before it leads to gain.

If you are stalled and not losing - inspecting grocery stores and not buying anything is not the real problem.  While this may not be the best use of your time, it is not causing you to not lose weight.  What you are eating or what you are/are not exercising is.  Check both - you cannot exercise your way out of a bad diet.

Congrats, I see that you have lost a lot of weight.  However 20% of that (or more) was lean muscle mass.  The loss of muscle mass depresses your metabolic rate - as much as 100-300 calories a day.  Only weight training will get that muscle mass back - aerobics will not.  If your diet is good - 60-80 gms of protein, all vits, all fluids, waiting 30-60 min between drinking and eating, etc, you may need to do weight training and get your engines running on high gear to get that last chunk of weight off.

Hang in there,

I still check the labels of everything at 5 years out.  99% of the time I almost drop the item when I see all the garbage that is in some stuff.  My favorite is something like dried evaporated cane syrup.  Isn't that sugar?

I don't think it's bad that I want to know what I put into my body.  And I dump so I am extra careful to avoid things with sugar or honey or other things that wouldn't be good for me to have.

One thing I remember being obsessed with after I had my first WLS was watching the Food Network 24/7.  I would watch them make things and in my mind try to think how I could make it healthier.  It was about 6 months before I finally turned that channel off.

I started watching the Food Network while still in the hospital thinking there would be folks teaching how to make healthy food. So wrong! But it is like watching a train wreck, you can't look away. My husband finally asked me why I was watching people make extremely fattening, sugar filled food and I had no answer. Finally, I had to turn it off. I did figure out that all these food judges take one or two bites and they are done. They seem to have portion control naturally built in.

It is a learning curve.  On top of everything else - I have food allergies so I need to check labels all the time. Evn on foods that used to be "safe", because I never know if the manufacturer did not change the ingredients. 

Eventually you learn to stop looking and just buy real food. 

I'd call that torture.  It is almost like your brain is telling you if you are educated then you can eat it...darned brain!

I try not to torture and just stick to the outter isles where I do all the prep know whats in it and keep it simple.

I do this too, although I wouldn't say I'm obsessed. For my first 6 months or so post-op, I'd wander the aisles, see something good, read the label, then sadly put it back. If my husband was with me, he'd comment as I picked it up "there's no way we can eat that," which made me feel even worse.

I see a health psychologist, and I'd recommend looking for one if you don't already see someone. Mine helped me realize that I'm torturing myself by saying I "can't" have things, and that just makes me feel more deprived and likely to rebel. What works for me is trying to learn moderation for the first time in my life. It's not easy, and there are some things (like bread) I just will not eat (not I didn't say *can't* eat) because I know I can't control myself with them. But occasionally letting myself have a less-than-ideal food (like a fun size candy bar from the jar in the break room at work) keeps me from feeling tied down or wanting to throw it all away on a binge.

I also find that when grocery shopping, I pretty much just circle the outside of the store now. Prepared foods in the middle aisles rarely get me the protein I want for the carbs and calories I'm willing to accept, so I shop mainly for produce, meat, cheese, and yogurt. Going in with a list and skipping all the aisles that don't have something on my list helps the routine disappointment of reading every label too.