Lots of questions

I'm new to this forum, well actually, I've been lurking for a few weeks. Here's a little of my story:

I'm 47 and weigh 250 pounds. I've tried countless diets and failed. I went to see a general surgeon a few weeks ago about some nausea and reflux and he suggested I consider bariatric surgery. I hadn't ever considered it before, thought I should just get my act together and eat less!

So in researching WLS I think RNY may be my best bet. I found out yesterday that I have a hiatal hernia that is causing reflux. After talking to the general surgeon yesterday, he thinks RNY would be the best way to get rid of reflux, repair the hiatal hernia and deal with my weight (not to mention my arthritis and high blood pressure).

So some questions... I've been reading your daily food logs and they remind me of when I was eating the paleo diet. Lots of protein and not many carbs. So how do you handle eating out at restaurants? What about cooking for a family? I have four hungry teenagers. What about eating when you're a guest at someone's house? 

I have lots to think about, but these questions are where I have always run into problems on diets and wondered what it would be like with WLS.

People who know me know that I eat very little.  A restaurant meal gives me leftovers at least twice and sometimes three times.  When I cook for others, I serve the bread, pasta, potatoes, rice and noodles that they enjoy and that I will not eat. 

With RNY I eat protein first and a few vegetables.  I am blessed with never again being hungry after surgery.  RNY should also get rid of the reflux. 

They tell you it is not a diet, bit a food plan that you will be on after surgery.  As you mentioned it is pretty close to paleo and also to Atkins.  I never lasted long on diets before because I would get so hungry.

The year before my surgery I lost 10 pounds in 10 months.  I gained it back in less than a month and decided to go for the surgery.  Health-wise it was the best choice for me.

I had severe GERD for 25 years.  RNY cured it.  I have lost 120 pounds and have maintained my weight for the last 4 years.  I cook for my family and I make all the starchy stuff, I buy my husband desserts, but I choose to not eat it.  The food plan after surgery takes real commitment.  You have to be willing to change everything about how you relate to food to be successful.  You can and will have significant re-gain if you choose to eat the same way you ate before the surgery.  

Surgery is just a tool to help you lose the weight, but it does make it much easier to be satisfied with small portions.  You will have to track and measure your food.  We did not become obese by knowing what a proper portion looks like.  Measuring out our portions teaches us what a normal portion looks like.  It's easy for us to allow portion sizes to creep up and the result is re-gain.  I am 5 years out and still measure.  I don't trust my self.  If I don't measure, I know I will over eat. 

When I go out, I order a small meal, skip the bread basket and ask for extra veggies instead of potatoes.  I always take leftovers home.  If you are at a friend's home, there will almost always be a meat and a veggie to choose from.  It's up to you to police yourself.  You have to remember that you had the surgery, not everyone around you.  You can not expect your family and friends to follow your new food plan. There will always be temptations out there and you have to learn to navigate around them.  Surgery does make it easier to do this, but ultimately, it's up to us to follow the WLS rules for life.

RNY has been the best decision I have ever made. Three 1/2 years ago I weighed 272 pounds,had high cholesterol,high triglycerides,high blood pressure uncontrolled on 4 pills and diabetes. I also had a hiatal hernia and reflux. Now 40 months later my blood sugar,cholesterol and triglycerides are totally normal. My blood pressure is perfect with one low dose pill. I now weigh 120 to 123 and have been this weight for almost21/2 years. I eat out frequently and my meals usually last three meals for me. Every restaurant has meat and low carb veggies as options. When I cook at home I make pasta and starchy sides for my husband and broccoli for me. The surgery is not an easy way because it still involves making good food and activity choices on a daily basis. My surgery makes it so much easier to eat less though and still feel satisfied. I no longer have and reflux and love my new active life!

1.  How do you handle eating out? Going out to eat is purposely low priority, but when I do:  first, I try to remember to ask for a side plate because I am most comfortable eating from a six-inch plate. If inside a fast-food place, I request "take-out" so I have a bag to hide discarded food like buns. Common menu choices are steak, shrimp, chicken, or burger with a vegetable or salad. Another choice is omelets. I avoid buffets for risk my brain goes into old thinking, "eat all you can." I do like deli salad bars because I can make protein/vegetable choices.  
2. What about cooking for family?  Meat and vegetable cookin' works well.  Four hungry teenagers would have me buying inexpensive proteins like beans and eggs.  Teens might like chili, hotdogs-n-beans, hamburger/bean hotdish, and then maybe varied omelet recipes.
3. What about eating as a guest?  I don't see it necessary to say a thing.  It's easy to carry store-bought protein shakes or protein bars just in case. When asked, my answer is a short, "thanks for asking but I am fine."

Eating out is a breeze.  Last week I went to a Japanese restaurant. My adult kids order a full meal and a couple of sushi rolls.  I ordered an appetizer of fried tofu.  I had a slice of one of the sushi rolls.  I was full.  At a coney island, I usually just help the grandkids.  At PF Chang's, I ordered lettuce wraps.  If I am eating with the grandkids, I just eat around their leftovers.  If their parents orders chicken chowmein for them, I eat a few pieces of chicken and maybe a noodle of two.

As for cooking, when I first had surgery, I would make my husband meals that lasted a couple of days like lasagna or chili.  When I was a few weeks out, I made chili and stews and hamburger dishes. I made him a big pot of mashed potatoes (I do not like them) and froze them.  When I didn't prepare a starch for him, he would microwave the mashed potatoes.  He had to keep all sweets out in his car, and go out and buy individual ice cream for himself. I love ice cream.  

Currently, I am experimenting with having some sweets in the house.  If I am good with the item, it stays, if not it goes back to his car.  Sometimes I am not successful with portion size or type of food, so in my learning curve, it is put on hold.  So, if I make a healthy food and can't stop going for an additional serving, I have to pre-portion out the size or not make it again.  It is a learning curve.  

Before when I used Atkins or Paleo, I was more black/white about food choices.  If I went off plan, I was horrible.  Now, I have a restriction, so there is a limit to how bad I can be.  Then I get back on plan.  Hopefully, I'll have my evil self disciplined before restriction is reduced. It is much easier with surgery.  I definately recommend the surgery.  It is a lot of work, it is not a magic cure, but it is the difference between success and failure.

 So how do you handle eating out at restaurants?

I haven't had issues with that since about the 3rd month. I order seafood, chicken or steak. No rice or pasta and get veggies on the side. I always have leftovers - yay!

What about cooking for a family? I have four hungry teenagers.

I have a large husband and we haven't had issues - we eat out of the same meals. He just adds pasta or rice to his meals to make them more robust. With casseroles we just look for specific ones that we can both eat. Or I eat leftovers and he eats the new meal.

What about eating when you're a guest at someone's house? I can almost always find something to eat at someone's house because I can eat cheese, meat, seafood, etc...but just in case I always travel with snacks that I can eat.

Thanks for all the answers!! 

I am now asking myself if following the post~op food plan is something I can commit to. I loved paleo but was always derailed when away from home. Temptation and hunger were overwhelming. I'm thinking the hunger part would be easier after RNY.

I'm only 6 months out,  so not a veteran,  but it sounds to me like some people lose their hunger after rny and some do not.  Luckily,  so far,  I have only had head hunger,  and after a few months it got a lot easier to deal with.  I'm never physically hungry.  

Also,  for me,  if I eat the things I'm not supposed to (high fat,  simple carbs,  sugar,  etc...) I get SO sick.  That helps keep me on track big time!  Even if I want to indulge,  the thought of getting that sick ever again in my life is stronger than the temptation. That is called dumping and not all people get that.  

My brother had VSG followed by the DS 6 years later. He is 8 or 9 months post op and can eat anything without getting sick at all.  I am 100% sure I would not be nearly as successful without the dumping.  It saves me! 

I will say,  this has been a very difficult experience. You have to be very dedicated and really follow the guidelines. I hear it's even more difficult to maintain. 

That said,  so far,  I feel like I made the right decision and it has been well worth it.  

Good luck to you in whatever you decide!