Ohhh my goodness, I'm sucking at this.

That's so funny but true .... like barfing it all up.  I have fibro so I no what you mean about limiting activity and standing.  Also I know what you mean I keep looking down at my stomach and feeling fat even though I am substantially less than I was.  We will get back on track 

Thank God someone posted what my last few months have been like.  I have been thinking about it and usually at the point of going down another ten like from 170 to 160's (and every ten before that) I panic.  I can give you a list of reasons.  But I have lately come to believe that I am stuck because I can't believe I can be good enough to get to the 160's.  Before that, I felt like I was not ready emotionally for any of the other big jumps.  Hope I am making sense.  I have been eating my favorite foods almost every day.  Not in big quantities but keeping myself stalled.  I admit that I eat nuts even though they make me feel sick.  The truth is, I see my reflection and I love it.  I have lost 88 pounds of the 100 pound goal after RNY.  I need something to make me feel like I can do it but honestly I haven't felt like I can do it, not one day.  It has happened from a miracle and because of the surgery. I am visiting my daughter in Tennessee and need to stop and see a counselor. I hope its okay to sort of talk to myself on this forum.  Anyone else feeling similar? 

I go back and forth.  Some days I'm like "piece of cake...I got this" other days it's "I want cake and I suck at this".  I never really believed I would get here but now it's the keeping me here that I worry about.

Today I am going to join overeaters anonymous online.  I hate groups and don't have a car while I am in TN. Oh thats a lie. I could use my daughters anytime. I hate groups. I am going to remember that just because I had surgery did not cure my mind.  And for me, I am crazy, the insane they talk about healing.  I also realize that for me I am not looking for perfect. I am looking for good.  So, lets see how that goes. One baby step for this day. That's all I have. I haven't gained weight. I did over Christmas, three pounds and I have lost the four back. I am okay there but the idea of being good with food is just a problem. I'm not sure how it should look for me. I will turn it over to God and accept whatever is possible today alone. That gives me some peace inbetween my ears. LOL Truly for us the honeymoon is over. I accept that I can weather this marriage with myself and my ever so cumbersome head. Good luck to you my friend. 

Thank you, good luck to you too.    I would never do a group thing either and I didn't know they had an online group. I will have to look in to that also.