An Uncomfortable Hug

So yesterday I went to a meeting for work and ran into someone I haven't seen since pre-op. Now this person has always been a "kisser", a handshake never suffices, a '1/2 hug' and cheek-kiss is what you always end up with. I'm used to that. (When I say 1/2 hug I mean that handshake where you lean in and put an arm over a shoulder)

Yesterday was different though and left me pretty uncomfortable. I was wearing a trench-style coat that was unbuttoned. When he hugged me, his arms went under my coat and around my waist; and I felt a definite squeeze at my waist. He went on to compliment me about how good I looked. I just said thanks. He brought it up again in the meeting, but I just talked around what he was trying to bring up.

I'm in HR- so don't tell me to report it to HR-- I won't; because of who he is and a little because I don't want it to seem like I've adopted an 'everyone wants me' attitude.  My point of bringing this up is I don't think I would have hesitated saying something to him directly, or officially reporting this pre-op. But despite no one at work 'officially' knowing of my surgery-- I am still self-conscious about perceptions. I'm just living proof that WLS makes NOTHING easier! 

I feel you.  I'm not really a hugger, touchy-feely type.

Next time you see him, whip your purse around to the front of you so all he gets is to cop a feel of your wallet and maxi pads.  

 Maxi pads.

LOVE this idea!

I'm not really a hugger either, unless I'm close with someone. For ithers, I'll return a hug, but don't initiate one.

I don't blame you for being uncomfortable. This wasn't his usual half-hug. An under the coat hug is creepy.

I don't really have any advice. Try sneezing on him next time?

No kidding!  Under the coat hug?  Ummm you better have cleared a clogged drain or mowed the lawn first. Pffft.

Deal. What do I get for unclogging your drain AND mowing your lawn?

Wait. It just ocurred to me that those both might have been euphemisms.

I had to deal with unwanted attention like that when I was a young adult, and it always freaked me out.  The one (and only one) positive thing about being morbidly obese was that I never had to deal with it anymore.   When I started dropping tons of weight after surgery, I started worrying about that again - although now that I'm pushing 60, I'm probably (hopefully) worrying needlessly.  But I totally feel for you.  I would be really uncomfortable with that.  I'm not sure what to say other than try to avoid situations where that might happen.  Or be direct with him - although I know that's often easier said than done.

Being in HR puts you in a tough spot.  A friendly suggestion to use NON-VERBAL cues before this person has an opportunity to be inappropriate again. Raising up one or two hands in a "stop" position is probably the strongest non-verbal message you could send and I wouldn't worry one bit about offending him.  If that fails, didn't you say your DH has a good 100 extra pounds on him.

Don't get me started on my DH. When I told him about this he asked me-- were you dressed the way you are dressed now. 

No I wasn't but I don't care it I had just a thong on under my coat.... what I was wearing should not matter--ESPECIALLY to my DH!!!