Frustrated

I don't really expect any answers for this post - I just need to vent. I am into my 11th week post op.

For the first week after surgery I vomited non-stop. I had to stay in hospital for a week till that finally stopped and I could get some broth and jello down.

When I got home from the hospital the real nightmare began. For 9 weeks I could not keep anything down. Foods that I had enjoyed before and I could have eaten during the soft food stage such as yogurt, cottage cheese, etc. suddenly stunk and tasted even worse than they smelled so I didn't even try to get them down. I'm vegan and normally don't eat any dairy but because of the cir****tances and at my surgeon's urging I agreed to add these foods back in to my diet just for the beginning stages. But I could/can not stand them!! And before becoming vegan, I LOVED dairy foods!! Anything else that I tried, I brought up. I also could not get enough fluids down so I had to go back to the hospital once or twice weekly for intravenous hydration and vitamins. I felt like death warmed over. I had days when I really truly thought I was dying, and days when I wanted to I was so miserable. I even felt like, if this is how I'm going to feel the rest of my life, I don't want to live and I thought about doing myself in if things didn't improve soon. I'm embarrassed to admit that but that's how bad it was some days. I literally didn't eat anything for 9 weeks. Oh yes, the weight fell off but I couldn't take any pleasure from that because of what I had to go through to see it coming off. I also could not get any protein drinks down (still can't) no matter what kind I tried they tore my poor stomach up. My sense of smell and taste have been altered. Many many foods and household items and sometimes even people(!!) smell so awful I get sick from the aroma - and the food tastes horrific!

Finally at 10 weeks my surgeon scheduled an endoscopy to see if I had developed strictures, ulcers or something else was wrong. But three days before the scheduled procedure I woke up one morning, tried to eat again (I tried everyday) and lo and behold I could eat and I kept the food down!! From that point on - 1 & 1/2 weeks ago, I've been able to eat and keep everything down unless I eat too much or my pouch doesn't like it. Unfortunately my pouch doesn't give me any signals that I've eaten enough until I've eaten too much and then the food comes up. I do measure everything as I'm supposed to, but sometimes even what I'm allowed is too much. This is all new to me and I'm learning - trying to be sensitive to the feeling of being satisfied and stopping then. So far I can eat pretty much of what I've tried except artificial sweeteners and the other foods that now smell and taste awful, like anything dairy.

Here's what's getting to me now. When I wake up in the morning I wait an hour or so before I eat but even with waiting, my pouch is very tight then and I can't get much in. At lunch it's a little "loser" and I can eat a bit more, and then a little more at supper. But even by supper when it's not so tight still I can only get in a few bites of protein and maybe one or two bites of a vegetable. I don't have much appetite during the day so that's OK. Then around 3 in the morning I wake up and I am SOOOOO hungry!!!! I do not believe it is head hunger. I lay in bed and fight the impulse to get up and eat - sometimes I win and sometimes the impulse wins. When I do get up and eat, I stick to protein or something else on my plan, so at least I'm not eating something off limits. If I don't eat, my stomach grinds and I can't get back to sleep. I know this is not a good thing but I don't know what to do. It's easy to say "fight the impulse" but I get so hungry it physically hurts!! I think perhaps it's because I don't get enough in at regular meal times, but my pouch just won't allow it then.

Does anyone else have this issue with their pouch - that it is tighter or loser at certain times?

Lastly, ever since I started being able to eat, my weight loss has stopped. It's been 2 weeks now and not an ounce gone and no change with my measurements or how my clothes fit. I'm sticking to plan. I'm vegan and eat a plant based diet and I eat according to the plan my dietician set up for me. If you ask what I'm eating every day you probably would not recognize what most of the foods are that I eat, so probably useless to ask. I will say that I'm eating maybe 500-600 calories of foods and so why I would not still be losing weight, I don't know. And yes, I'm doing pretty good with getting in the required protein. I know stalls happen and I'm trying to be patient. But this has always been my pattern with weight loss - I can lose pretty good for a month or so and then it stops and that's it. I lost 44 pounds in 9 weeks and now for the last two, 0 - nada, nothing. 44 pounds in 9 weeks was slow compared to some, but I was happy with it and would be happy, at this stage, just to lose 2 or 3 pounds a week.... SOMETHING to make me feel this has all been, and continues to be, worth it!!!!

In short, yes. I can eat less in the morning than later in the day. And I have "small pouch days" and "large pouch days."

You've been through a lot. And you are down because you haven't lost as much as you will eventually, and had all the other large and small victories that you will. 

Hang in there. It will all be worth it.

It sounds as though you made some progress with the healing.  I'm happy for you.  About the weight loss - 4 weeks of no-change can happen, even for people on a 'regular' diet.  Then it can just fallrop off.  Try to forget your 'diet' patterns of the past, RNY really does change your set-point.  Your body is taking some time to adjust. This is somewhat of a waiting game - we all want the time to fly past. 

Are you able to walk?  That may help get everything moving in the right direction.

Hang in there 

Oh you poor thing...you have been through the wringer.  I hope you are getting back to feeling somewhat normal.  A lot of smells and tastes made me nauseous after surgery.  When I was finally able to eat meat (which I always did) it was disgusting to me.  I thought I would have to give it up for good.  I would say around 8 weeks I started feeling like eating again.  I kinda wish I felt that way again.  It sure helped with the weight loss. 

I wouldn't worry right now about getting up to eat at night as long as you are eating on plan. When you get further out and your pouch settles down and you are able to eat more during the day,the night time eating will likely stop. 

Have you tried warm tea inthe mornings before trying to eat? Some times warm liquid will relax the pouch and allow eating. 

Also, a vegan diet,by necessity,is likely to be more carby. Carbs are going to make you hold water to process them. I don't know how that is going to factor into weight loss,but I don't think you are going to be pleased.  I think most of us might recognize foods from a vegan diet. It is not rocket science.

Yes I eat a lot of carbs - complex carbs. Bulgar wheat, Teff, Tahini, Tempeh, Aramanth, Seitan, Quinoa, falafel, hommus, chia and hemp seeds, tofu, miso soup and other sea vegetables. And lots of veggies and some faux meat. My surgeon and nut and dietitian are fine with this - I've been eating this way for a long time. It's a very healthy WOE, just that I ate too much of the good stuff! Sorry if I offended anyone about not recognizing the foods I eat but when I mention most of those foods to most people they don't have a clue......

I recognized every one of those foods.

with all due respect,I understand you might have been eating this way for a long time,but it look to me like eating this way has pushed you into needing weight loss surgery.

it may seem like it is healthy,but it really isn't. 

I became heavy because I eat too much - or did. Eating a plant based diet is one of the healthiest ways one can eat, especially for controlling heart disease, diabetes and several other diseases. Everyone from my own Primary Care Physician to my Bariatric surgeon to the Nutritionist and dietitian at the program I attend are behind me on this - the dietitian has worked out a specific program for me that controls to a large degree the amount of complex carbs I consume. Of course it still can't be considered a low carb way of eating, but that's not the route I care to go. For both ethical and health reasons, I will NOT consume animal foods. Thus far I am 11 weeks out and have lost 65 pounds.  I'm happy and satisfied. Part of the reason I have gained so much weight (other than over eating!) is because I have Metabolic Syndrome, gained a lot when I went through Menopause, and due to serious osteoarthritis in my lower joints I cannot exercise much, especially now. I had a total knee replacement 3 years ago and this past summer a part wore out and the knee gave out on me. My ortho doc and my bariatric surgeon both decided (with my agreement) that I should have the Bariatric surgery first and once healed from that then the knee revision will be done. I'm scheduled for that surgery Feb 23. In the meantime I have to stay off my feet as much as possible so the knee doesn't break down any more than it already has. So other than chair exercises, exercise is out till after knee repair. Hopefully because I'll have considerably less weight on me, the knee surgery and physical therapy will be easier on me then and the knee will last longer!! I'm sure my weight contributed to the part wearing out in the new knee so quickly!! Once I'm healed from THAT surgery, then I have a hip replacement scheduled and THEN the exercising can begin in earnest. I was advised by my surgeon and nutrition doc that my loss would be slow because of my current inability to exercise. I don't mind slow - what is frustrating is when it comes to a complete halt!! But, I'm feeling better about all that today. I was just having a blue day the day I posted the other post - and heck, who doesn't need to have a rant every now and again?!? :-)

I am almost 17 months out and I only recently started eating something in the morning. Pretty much it was hot tea, protein drink, and water until I felt I could eat solids for lunch. Recently I started drinking the Premier Protein Hot, like a hot chocolate. Premier is thin, so I find it easier to get down than when I mix a smoothie in the blender. You can also buy unflavored whey protein that you could mix in other foods.

I agree with there are Large pouch days and small pouch days.....

im 7 months out and my pouch is finicky in the morning, so i put some protein powder in my coffee. Around 2-3 hours after my coffee I eat breakfast and Usually can eat what I have planned, sometimes a little less