Maintenance question

Thank you ladies for sharing all this great and valuable information.  These are things I have been discovering as well.  I used to say that if I even got close to the 150's I'd find the maintenance weight but I see that I need to be more lean than I am.  I am working on leaning out but still shaping myself/turning fat to muscle/trying to build an endurance with more rigorous activities.  I was creeping up to 2000 calories a day and learned that it was too much so I have backed down to like 1200-1300 at the most per day and it seems much, much better.  I'm a 'beefy' girl by nature and I think I will have to remain within these limits to lean out and get below the 165 that's been haunting me for a while now.

Thanks for all of the advice. I am nervous about what to do. I am at 127 from 216 and am wearing a size six. I am getting comments about being too skinny, (from my family) but no one else. I will just add 50 to 75 calories until I see my bariatric surgeon in January. She was a little concerned about my weight last time, and I am about 11 pounds less than that. But I am only 5' 2", so I don't know! I have always been busty and big in my hips and thighs. I will just wait and see what she says I guess. Thanks everyone!!

There are a lot of reasons people tell us we look too thin. I think most of us look gaunt in the face until the weight redistributes. Also, our loved ones are not used to seeing us thin and do tend to worry too much. I am 5 inches taller than you and also wear a size 6. At 7 years out, NO ONE tells me I am too thin.

You need to take into consideration your age as well. I am older and was told 1200 calories to maintain. This generally works for me. I can go a little higher but then I will start to gain. Try 100 and see how that is. Then if you still are losing try another 100. Be aware there is often a weight gain after being in maintenance for a couple of years. I would give yourself a few pounds extra off

I would advise AGAINST doing things to intentionally slow down your weight loss unless your surgeon has specifically directed you to do so. I've seen this go down a number of times and almost EVERY person I've see do that ends up gaining way more than they wanted to in the process of "stopping" their losses. The human body has what is called a "set point." That's the weight you are naturally supposed to be (based on a number of factors). Once you are done with the free-fall losing you may migrate to a higher set point (for most of us it's 7-10 lbs. above our lowest weight) and stay there. 

If you are concerned that you are losing too much talk to your surgeon. Do not try to stop your losses on your own. That's my advice.

I'd recommend against intentionally trying to stop your weight loss unless your doc has advised it. Others' comments are viewed through the lens they used to see you through, and getting in the habit of eating more now may cause you to gain back more than you'd like when your malabsorption starts to decrease. I had coworkers tell me I needed to stop losing when I was still 200 lbs! My trainer thinks I should aim for 150 instead of my personal "pie in the sky" goal of 130, but I'm at the point now where I'm just happy to let my body end up wherever it's comfortable and where my doctor thinks is healthy.

Also remember that everyone's metabolism is different, and even your own can vary a lot over time based on age, health, and activity level. I'm 7 months out, averaging 1200-1300 calories a day, and still losing (albeit slowly). I also find I don't need the same caloric intake every day -- some days are as low as 900, and Thanksgiving was something like 1900, lol.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I will just leave things be until I see my surgeon. I am 52 and have thyroid issues. I have never been this small even at a lower weight. Maybe it is just freaking me out, lol.

13 years post op and at goal. I remember thinking omg I will go down to nothing. My body stopped and I don't count calories anymore but am aware of what I eat and. 99% of the time make good choices 

13 years!!! Gives me hope at 5 1/2 years! I do the same as you and have stayed a few pounds below goal. My weight loss stopped when I hit rubber hits the road maintenance about 15 months later, and now I sure miss the honeymoon period!