Fear of failure with every bite

I find that everytime I eat I am very anxious. Part of this is because I am still sorting out what foods work for me and which foods cause me to feel ill.  I am getting a handle on that now though so I know the anxiety is more than that. 

When I stopped and really thought about this today I realized I am so afriad of failing that I feel like I am failing every time I take a bite.  I measure, count, track, and am 100% on plan...but I still feel this emotional burden of failure and fear.  In a weird way I feel how I would imagine someone with an eating disorder might feel about eating. Logic and nutritional awareness don't calm the fear.  The only thing that makes me relax is weighing in each morning and seeing the number go down or stay the same.

Has anyone else had these feelings?  Do they get better over time?

Thanks!

~elizabeth

I have read and heard of so many people with this fear. Does it get better? I cannot say. I would like to think it does as you become more accustomed to the new lifestyle that you've chosen. 

I know one common thing everyone says - don't weigh daily. Weigh at your check-ups or once a week/month.

At my initial seminar,  the bariatric nurse said something that struck a chord with me.  She said that to be morbidly obese, we all have some sort of eating disorder. No way for me to get to a bmi of 51+if I didn't have an issue with food. 

I highly recommend finding a therapist who is familiar with eating disorders or weight loss surgery.  I'm seeing one and it helps me to work these issues out.  

I also think you should get in touch with a bariatric psychiatrist.  I started seeing one this summer and it has helped me a lot.  I am more aware of when these feelings come.  Sometimes I still fall for it, but I know what it is because I have gone through the thought processes and I see the signs.  I have those same feelings of guilt and being years out, I can eat more.  I have to be so careful.  My therapist asked me...'Can you eat a cupcake?'  I snapped back at her, 'NO!'  She said that the way I answered her said it all.  I am not comfortable with food yet.  I need a support system as probably most if not all of us do.  Go through your doctor and see about getting touch with someone; I think you will find it helpful.  Good luck!

A healthy fear is a good thing IMHO: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2009/06/fear- enemy.html just one posts ops 2 cents... keeping your head in the game, planning meals, going to support group meetings, posting here, for me blogging and attending events like Your Weight Matters, OH, etc. fear that keeps you vigilant and resolved is one thing...

An unhealthy fear that cripples you or causes you emotional distress... that's the makings of an eating disorder and probably something you want to start talking with a therapist about. That being said... we've all been there especially in the beginning we've all been on so many diets, lost, gained, lost, gained more... that roller coaster is a part of many of our lives... This can be different... always remember whether the scale is going down or up... the only way we fail is if we give up.

I will say this... in the first few weeks, months... the whole counting, tracking, measuring,... is intense... because it's new and we want to do thing right... it gets better and really becomes second nature... so you have to think/obsess/have it rule your life less.

Don't underestimate the emotional part of this journey though... it is truly the hardest (but most worthwhile) work we'll do.

I took a whole different meaning from your question. Most likely because I am dealing with my own fear. I wonder if I am eating enough. When I eat I am so afraid of doing one to many spoonfuls. I don't want the feeling of that last painful bite, so I stop short. The question is am I stopping to soon? I am less than 2 weeks out and still on slider foods ( yogurt, mash potatoes, cottage cheese), drinking my 64 ounces and hoping I am getting enough nutrition.

Do you have to go to far to really know how much you can go ( eat) ? I hope this makes sense.

For me I didn't feel 'full' or in pain from eating until after I started adding solid foods. With the blended stage it is harder to tell.

~e

13 years post op I still am afraid of food.