1.5 Years Post Op Gaining and Depressed

Hi Everyone,

I wasnt sure what else to do. I am at my whit's end. I had RNY in February of 2014 and I started at 254lbs. I got down to my lowest of 172 then i had a major crisis in my life happen. I found out my husband was cheating on me and he left me and my son for another woman and her family. I was in a downward spiral for the last year or so and unfortunately i eat my feelings. My therapist put me on a antidepressant that made me have bad cravings and gain 30lbs. Now i am stuck back at 200lbs, depressed, disgusted with myself, hate looking in the mirror and cannot stop eating crap foods that make me sick...I am reaching out to my fellow surgery buddies to see if anyone has had this issue (not specific but gaining and cant stop eating) because i dont know what else to do...

thanks in advance

Lindsay

I am so sorry about what your family is going through. I have been there and I know how painful it is.

I am glad your therapist put you on antidepressants and I also know from experience how they can cause hunger, leading to regain.

I regained 100 lbs after my firsts WLS and the medication I was on at the time didn't help.

After my revision I was able to get off that medication and find something that didn't cause weight gain. I am not going to say what I am taking because I am not a doctor and I don't know if it would work for you but there are medications out there and if your therapist will work with you I am sure you can find something that helps that won't cause weight gain.

As far as the eating goes, I know how hard that is on a good day and dealing with the meds and emotional issues doesn't make it easier. All I can suggest is to get the crap out of your house. There is no reason to have it in the house. I don't know how old your son is but if he is little then not having it in the house will be good for him.

If he is older then he can buy his own crap and keep it away from you.

After my revision I went through my cupboards, fridge and freezer and tossed all the food I knew I shouldn't eat. I am not kidding when I say there was at least 4 or 5 grocery bags of it. My neighbor was very grateful.

I made sure I had things that I could eat but I didn't go overboard. Or I tried not to. Even after 5 years it is hard not to shop like I still weigh 240. Even good stuff. I buy fruits and vegetables in small amounts or I will wind up throwing out a lot of expensive things.

I make sure I eat the protein first and then the vegetables and last the starchy things like potatoes. I don't deny myself them I just save them for last when a bite or two is enough.

I drink at least 100 oz of fluids a day, but I don't eat with meals or 30 minutes afterward.

I don't really know the reason physically but mentally it really helps me be mindful of what I eat. I don't eat impulsively anymore because I know if I do I have to set the timer again and it's hard to get in all my fluid if I am always having to wait 30 minutes after I eat something.

The best thing is just to plan ahead and make sure you have what you need handy. I bring my lunch to work every day. If I am going out to eat or to someone's house I try to plan ahead and know what I will be having, even if it's only in a general way as in 6 oz of meat and steamed veggies.

I'm not going to lie. If you have been eating a lot of crap you will go through cravings. Cut out the sugar, bread, crackers and all the things you know are giving your problems.

Give yourself time to decarb. You will be fighting cravings for a while. That is why it is important to have a plan and stick with it until the cravings leave, or are more manageable.

I can tell you that it was less then a week before my cravings were gone so we aren't talking about a long term. Not having it in your system helps you not want it.

And get support! Either a local support group or online, get a support system of others who are dealing with the same issues after WLS. It is invaluable and the lack of support for me was one of the reasons I failed my first surgery.

I really did examine the things I did and didn't do that led to my regain and tried very hard to learn from my failure. You are not a failure if you learn from your mistakes and use them to do better. I don't aim to be perfect but I try to do better then I did the last time. And I have found that good enough is good enough.

Good luck to you and stick around. Post what you are eating on the daily menu thread. That will really help you. I hope to see you around for a long time.

Thank you LadyTazz :) I appreciate all of your advice and kind words.. :)

I don't have any more to add, but just wanted to let you know that I am sending hugs your way. So sorry for what you and your son are going through.

Hi,

I know the feeling! You feel like you are in a snowglobe...some evil person cut your entire life into little pieces, stuck you in a snowglobe and is shaking the hell out of it! Your whole world is swirling around you. It's hard to see thru all that glittery swirl...and here's the even scarier part...what you are trying to see, how your world looked before, is gone...so not only is stuff swirling around you but when it all settles, and it will, it will be completely different. Which is OK. In fact, for many of us who have walked in your shoes, it's actually better! So, focus on the things you can control...which isn't this crazy swirl of emotions and life. You have the power to start defining your new life with things you can control...what's in your cupboards! And fridge! I know when I went thru the crazy you are going thru, being the control freak I am, it almost drove me crazy trying to control husband, children, husband's girlfriend, in laws, family, friends....I finally realized I couldn't and that's when the swirling started to slow down. I had to focus on buying the right food. Making sure I had the right stuff at home. Planning what I was going to eat. And making sure it was healthy. And planning time for me to exercise. All things I could control...thank god...because honestly I had to give in to the control freak a bit and have something to grab on to! Once you start eating more healthy, you will feel better, physically...which will start to help you emotionally and mentally too. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. From a food perspective...stay active on here, same for exercise. From an emotional support perspective, I hope you have a structure in place...but again...feel free to rant here. And one more thing...buy the book "he's just not that into you"...I know, it sounds horrible but I truly wish someone had handed to me at the beginning of my crazy story if simply to bring a little bit of humor into my life and to help me feel less alone. Take care!

Thank you Shade :) the snow globe reference is on point! thank you for all your kind words and great advice :)

Hi,

I know the feeling! You feel like you are in a snowglobe...some evil person cut your entire life into little pieces, stuck you in a snowglobe and is shaking the hell out of it! Your whole world is swirling around you. It's hard to see thru all that glittery swirl...and here's the even scarier part...what you are trying to see, how your world looked before, is gone...so not only is stuff swirling around you but when it all settles, and it will, it will be completely different. Which is OK. In fact, for many of us who have walked in your shoes, it's actually better! So, focus on the things you can control...which isn't this crazy swirl of emotions and life. You have the power to start defining your new life with things you can control...what's in your cupboards! And fridge! I know when I went thru the crazy you are going thru, being the control freak I am, it almost drove me crazy trying to control husband, children, husband's girlfriend, in laws, family, friends....I finally realized I couldn't and that's when the swirling started to slow down. I had to focus on buying the right food. Making sure I had the right stuff at home. Planning what I was going to eat. And making sure it was healthy. And planning time for me to exercise. All things I could control...thank god...because honestly I had to give in to the control freak a bit and have something to grab on to! Once you start eating more healthy, you will feel better, physically...which will start to help you emotionally and mentally too. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. From a food perspective...stay active on here, same for exercise. From an emotional support perspective, I hope you have a structure in place...but again...feel free to rant here. And one more thing...buy the book "he's just not that into you"...I know, it sounds horrible but I truly wish someone had handed to me at the beginning of my crazy story if simply to bring a little bit of humor into my life and to help me feel less alone. Take care!

I am sorry that this happened to you. You had this surgery for you not your husband. You may want to ask about other anti-depression meds.

I know this sounds dumb. I have to tell myself that I will be okay sometimes a few times a day. Sometimes life throws a major monkey wrench at us and we spiral downwards.

Clean your cabinets out. Get rid of the crap. Get your scale out and measure your food again. It will get better. You deserve better and so does your son.

Take care

Thank you 3 Bassethounds :) i do forget to tell myself that i will be okay...some days are better than others...

I'm sure you have heard the saying that failure to plan is planning to fail. This so applies to me. If I am clueless about a meal, it is almost guaranteed I will make a poor food choice.

You have been given some good advice previously. Go back to basics- dense protein first, then veggies. Cut out the simple carbs and those dang cravings will get better. Plan your meals for the week and make it as easy as you can, so you can stick to it and not give into fast food temptations.

Good luck.