Not doing well

I did great for months after surgery. It was a revision. But once again I allowed my failing marriage, issues with my two special needs children and over all stress to take over my eating habits. I know what I need to do but why is it so hard to get back on th wagon? Ive been losing and gaining the same 5 lbs for almost 5 months. Just wasting my time. Just really disappointed in myself. 

   I'm definitely not giving up. And I'm glad I haven't gained my weight back but I'm not at goal and got to 196 which I have never been under 200 as an adult so it was huge! But here I am at 200 again and staying around there. 

    I didn't write sooner cuz I knew I would get chewed out lol Obviouly I know what I need to do. I'm not sure where my motivation went! Just needed to get it all out. Thanks for all the support that's here. 

Amie

Aww a lot on your plate. If you are not speaking to a therapist I would make an appointment. The work we do above the neck is IMHO the most important work. I think when you start to do that work the rest will fall into place. Food planning helps too... knowing a day or so in advance what you are going to eat so that when life happens you don't have to make those decisions on the fly.

No more looking back though... regret, disappointment, not needed you have the motivation to post, which says you recognize you need to adjust the sails... so boom... you got this. Make a plan and take action. 

Best to you and your 2 kiddos, ~Shelly

I hear you.  I have a developmentally disabled child and a child with severe mental illness.  When it gets to be too much, I schedule respite care so I can get away on a bike ride, a quick weekend with the boyfriend, extra time at work, etc.  Talk to your local public health dept, mental health dept, DHS, etc to see who offers it in your area.  In my case, since my kids were adopted through the state, I get a subsidy to pay for respite care-giving... but your situation of course may be different.

And I remind myself that if I get fat again, I could die... and then who would take care of them?

Audrey

I am praying for you. 

I am sorry you are having a rough time. Remember to take care of yourself. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. I know that is easier said than done.

Maybe find a support group that can help you. Not just for weight loss but for people who have children with similar needs that your kids need. Sometimes when you talk to people who are going through the same thing a light bulb goes off. When someone understands where you are coming from and knows what you are feeling it can help. 

Make a list of positives in your life and look what you have achieved so far. Remember you deserve to be happy and healthy. Not only for your kids but for you. 

Be kind to yourself. I think Pre-planning your food days is a great idea. Even if I don't follow my plan exactly, it makes me think about my day, what food I have in the house or where I am going... so there are no surprises of "what should I eat?" and then eating the wrong thing.

No personal attacking here--you are under a lot of stress.  I've had relatives who have had the same responsibilities, and it is very hard on them.  You must take care of yourself.  If you get sick, who will care for them?  

Get some respite carers;  even two hours a day would give you a break.

You are not alone.