Sobriety and Starting Over

I had my surgery in December, 2011 and went on to lose about 119 pounds. I felt great at 179, even though I wasn’t at my goal yet. I felt really healthy at that weight.

And then, alcohol happened.  Not sure how, but I went from a social drinker to a bottle of two of wine a night drinker. Frequent blackouts.  Generally feeling like a failure in life.  After a particularly bad weekend this past weekend (two blackout nights in a row where I pretty much embarrassed myself), my husband and I sat down and talked about my alcohol abuse.  He’s such an amazing supportive man. I’ve gained 39 pounds back from alcohol and not following the rules.

So after abusing my liver for a couple years, I’m on day three of sobriety and looking to get back on the healthy lifestyle. I know three days doesn’t seem like much to a non-drinker, but it’s a major achievement for me. I can’t believe how much better I feel.  I’m facing those demons head on, with my husband’s help, and I’m determined to live a sober life.

So, now for my question.  Is my tool broken? Will it still work for me, this far out from surgery, or should I join something like WW and start counting points? Anyone else go through this kind of thing?

You broke down for a couple of years but you are not broken. You can lose the 40 lbs but you are not going to lose as fast as you did in 2011. Hubby wants to help you but you need more help. Get priorities in order. Three days is great but i just got here so why not another three days so I can hear your determination to stop drinking. Then why not get support from AA so hubby can see your determination. Now take your measurements and weigh yourself today. Each morning weigh yourself and as soon as that one pound comes off you will know it is because you did not drink. Each day look forward to the next pound coming off because it was another day you did not drink. It took time getting to this point and it is going to take time getting away from drinking altogether. That is why you need a support group and not put everything on hubby's shoulders. Now if you think keeping yourself busy by going to AA meetings and WW to get back on track eating healthy is what you need...sure jump in with WW. All I am saying is prove to yourself that the drinking did the weight gain, the drinking did your blackouts so that you can stop this major breakdown in your life. There is nothing more refreshing than clearing your head and going out for a walk everyday. Three days is fine...three weeks sober is better...three months sober is great. I would love to cheer you over your hurdle and to the finish line. Get the support and anything us possible.

3 days is awesome!!!  Such a blessing that your husband is so supportive!!  Good on ya!!!  (I don't know the answer to your questions, just wanted to say...it's tough...GOOD JOB AND GOOD LUCK!!!!)

Oh my friend....I have known many who have travelled this road. 

You know the scoop. It's addiction. Transfer addiction. Psychology is happening in your very own head. Acting out. I'm sure you've heard many of these words and won't define them.

But let me say this. Your husband cannot be your support group for this one, nor can he be your therapist. If he tries, he will stand between you and the help you really, really need. 

So as for the drinking....hit up an AA meeting. It's day 4. Sounds like a good day to get it into the calendar. As good a day as any. 

As for eating - yes, you can lose the weight and kicking out the alcohol will definitely help. I'm not a huge WW fan but do what you need to do. Quite a number of us have dealt with regain, and it's hard but it can be done.

We know the rules that apply for us:

Protein first. Always

Complex carbs - veggies next

A little fruit

Dairy if you want it

Skip the breads and starches for now. Cold turkey right?

Water. 

Vitamins.

Take a walk.

No fad diets, no need to pay membership fees or splurge at the grocery store. Simple, clean eating will do it. 

I keep in touch with a pretty large group of post ops, and I'd ballpark 10% of them face the alcohol demons. Some have dealt with it - others not. One friend has been very successful with a combination of AA and OA - both are free, and the 12 step life applies on both sides of the issue.

You have my very best wishes. 

PS. There's a transfer addictions forum or group here on OH. Check it out. 

Lynn

 Good for you for facing your demons. Stick to the basics and KISS (keep it simple stupid) ... Go to AA go to a therapist, come here as much as needed,...whatever works...stay focused and be kind to yourself

http://www.amylhwilliams.com/pouchrulesfordummies.html

First, no your tool is not broken.  I had my RNY in 2007 and lost 180 lbs.  In 2013 I developed a love of wine - easily downing 2 bottles a day - started buying it by the box.  I regained 126 pounds.

In January of this year I totally gave up alcohol.  I started logging my food on My Fitness Pal.  I reminded myself of the pouch rules and began to live by them.  I am now 62 pounds lost since January.  The tool is definitely still there.  I posted a link to pouch rules at the top of this message - reading it helped me.  Also, reading Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients by Colleen Cook helped.  I have not done AA or WW - never have been a group type person, but that is my personality.  If you would find those groups helpful, go for it.

It is a slower loss this time around, but I already feel vastly better physically & mentally.  

Take care!

I know what you are saying.  three days is great...  One day at a time.  Sounds so stupid but I have been sober for seven years now...keep it up

sending you love and support and my prayers that you will succeed peace and blessings

You are already so strong for "coming out" to ask for help and support here. Keep it up by getting the support of a sponsor in AA. As others have said---your husband sounds wonderful, but he cannot and should not be placed in the role of sponsor. 

Sending my very best wishes for your continued recovery and best health.

Good for you to recognize your issue!!! I agree with others about joining AA. As for WW...as being a former leader of WW and losing 108 lbs on WW and reaching goal. I want to caution you on doing ww after wls. You can not after WLS follow the WW points program and loss the weight. You should be doing protein first and for most. You cant eat all the veggies, fruits and carbs that they lead you to. most veggies and fruits have 0 points for the ww program,,,so the points come in from the proteins, carbs and dairy. If you eat unlimited fruits and veggies and use your points for carbs and dairy I don't think you will lose the weight. This is just my opinion. If you want to attend a WW just for a support aspect that is great, but realize we have do this differently. Protein is our friend. Carbs are not!