My husband says he is supportive, but...

I am afraid that he will unintentionally sabotage me.  Not that me being overweight is his fault at all, I am the one who puts the food in my mouth, but he likes to bring home the treats.  Even if I am not buying it when I go grocery shopping, he will purchase different sweets on his way home from work for "the family".  Or we will go out and he will suggest we stop for dessert or ice cream.  He says he will support me, but I'm so afraid that this is not going to work if he keeps bringing the junk in the house.  Like I said, it is not intentional, so I need to say something without hurting his feelings.  Please help.

I think you just need to be honest with him and let him know how much you need his help during the early months, and that means that it would be really helpful if he could limit the snacks he brings into the house and if he could try to be sensitive about things like going out for ice cream.  

Don't expect the whole family to go on a diet, though... You are the only one having WLS and having a very limited diet.  As a couple, you just need to modify things a bit, such as having him take you home before he and the rest of the family go for ice cream.

Lora

You are right, I need to be honest with him.  It just may take me telling him more than once for it to sink in.  

As strange as it may seem, some people only know how to show love through food. Taking the family out for ice cream, bringing home treats.. honestly it feels as if his heart is in the right place. Perhaps you all, as a family, could try other types of rewards and/or activities? Mini golf, swimming, trips to the park, etc. If it has to be food, then try low carb wraps, tasty and unique salads, etc.

As I type this, my husband (who is maybe 15 lbs overweight) is eating small scones out of a tub.  I can smell the cinnamon.  They would be delicious with my coffee.  And I am sure that later today he will have a large plate of chips and dip and so on.  He is a processed food junkie.

Yes, you are responsible for what goes into your mouth.  And there are going to be many times that your eating needs are simply polar opposite of what your family is eating.  That is not easy to get used to but you can.  BUT, it is ok to draw some boundaries in your own home that support this journey.

For myself, I can have him eating that in front of me but I don't want to be looking at it all day or come across it during my usual activities.  So, he has agreed to either keep that stuff high up in a cupboard that I don't normally open or out of the house entirely because he has SO MUCH that they don't all fit in that cupboard! 

Think about specific actions YOU need and then ask for it.  And then, if his actions don't support his promises you need to remind him of what you need.  

By nature, I hate confrontation (and my husband is super sensitive to criticism) so I have had to learn that it is ok to say "That 3 million pound bag of fritos on the counter is really bothering me.  I just gave up 85% of my stomach to try to get to a healthier place.  Could you please move it out of my sight?"  He is not happy with this feedback but that is ok (so my therapist tells me.) 

About treats for the family:  kids don't need that junk either.  You know it and somewhere inside he knows it, too.  

However,  it may be better to have ice cream out of the house rather than in the home freezer.  Eventually, and it may be hard to imagine now, you may be ok sitting there with NOTHING (I don't coun****er as something!) while your family chows down.  Also, you can become a master of figuring out how to stay on plan even if the family is eating out.  Think of it as practice for the rest of your life.  

Best wishes in your journey!

Thank you so much for your honest reply and advice.  You are absolutely right, I need to draw boundaries if this is going to work for me.  I need to be honest with him, because I cannot fail.

if you have asked him not to bring treats home and he continues, I would clean out an out of my way cabinet and make the treats go only in there.if that didn't work , I would throw out everything he brings in the door as soon as it hit the kitchen. 

He is trying to sabotage you. 

I guess if I stood up to him and started throwing his treats away that would finally get his attention and he would know I mean business.

I agree with what the others have said. Is your husband overweight? Are your kids? If so, hopefully they will also embrace a new healthy lifestyle. Even if they are all thin, eating better is a good thing. Tell your husband you want a long healthy life with him. Better food choices will help both of you have a healthier life.

You are in charge of what you eat. There will always be temptations. You must learn to resist them.

My husband could definitely stand to lose about 30 lbs. or so.  My kids are not heavy, but I wasn't either until I was older.  But you are right.  We all need to eat better.  Thank you for the advice.