XP My 5 year post

I wanted to take a little time and observe today.  

Today isn't the 5 year surgiversary of my revision.  Today is 5 years since I've eaten destructively.

In OA they call it abstinence but I really don't like to use that term.  It is the day I quit eating sugar and gluten and refined carbs.

I'm not perfect and I am sure there have been some of those things that have snuck in but I have not intentionally eaten them

I think most people know my story but for those that don't, a very short version.

In 2002 I had WLS, a DS.  At that time it was touted as a miracle surgery that allowed people to eat a lot and still lose weight.  Maybe it wasn't touted exactly that way but that is what I wanted to believe so that is what I heard.

In 2002 there weren't a lot of doctors performing the DS and I had no idea about how complicated the surgery was.  My surgeon, who is a great surgeon, wasn't so great doing the DS.

The first 2 years I lost weight no matter what I ate.  And believe me, I ate.  I really did think I found the holy grail of WLS.  I made no changes to my eating.  Even having a sleeve didn't deter me because my sleeve was so large that I never felt any restriction and before long I was eating pretty much the same quantities as before surgery.

I also suffered a lot of side effects, mainly constant diarhhea and gas and horrible smells.

At that time I did not connect that those things my be related to my eating.  I thought it was the price I had to pay to be thin.

Ultimately over the following years I manged to regain 100 lbs and completely lose my health.  By 2010 I was pretty much housebound, barely able to get dressed.  

I saw doctors and the only things they could find  were low D and low Ferritin.  I had an iron infusion but still didn't feel better.

In desperation I went back to my surgeon and begged for a reversal.  I was told that I couldn't be reversed but I could be revised so I wouldn't have so much malabsorption.  He also suggested revising my sleeve into a RNY pouch.  He told me at the time that I probably wouldn't lose much weight but hopefully wouldn't gain much more, either.  That was good enough for me.  I figured that if I could regain 100 lbs with malabsorption I could really do some damage without it.

I also decided that if I was going to get a second chance I was going to do things differently this time.  It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why things went so badly.  The surgery didn't fail, I failed.  I expected the surgery to do all the work while I had an eating party every day.  Nice work if you can get it but that wasn't my story.

It turned out I had blind loop syndrome, which basically meant the bacteria was trapped in my intestines, pretty much poisoning me.  At one point I had reactive arthritis and dermatitis due to the bacterial.  The day of my revision was the last day I had those side effects.  For that alone it was worth it.

It took a hell of a long time to feel better.  I mean months and years.  I wish I could say I hoped out of the hospital bed a new person but I really had to work to get my health back.

Now on to what I think is important.  

For me 5 years is significant because 5 years is what they use in terms of surviving cancer.  I have never, and I mean never, been the same weight or size one year to the next, unless I had a gain and loss in that year.

This is what is important.  For the first time in my life I am able to eat in a way that keeps me the same size.  No magic there.  I always knew what I had to do to lose weight and I was a champ at it.  I have probably lost and gained thousands of pounds in my life.

Losing weight, while never easy, was doable for me.  Staying there was not.

Now I have a tool that helps me stay away from junk.  I get full easier and I don't experience hunger like I used to.  Before I couldn't go from breakfast to lunch without eating.  In fact I never really had meals before.  I just ate all day, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  And it showed.

Now I have meals that I plan out and rules I follow.  Protein first.  No drinking 30 minutes after eating, which I think has made the biggest difference.  It makes me mindful of what I am eating and when.

Two things I have done from the beginning and continue to do is aim for 100 grams of protein and 100 oz of fluids a day.  Those are still priorities for me.

So here are the numbers for me.

2010 - 220

2011 - 111

2012 - 101.8

2013 - 103.4

2014 - 110

2015 - 111.4

You can see the first few years I did get too low but I didn't really worry about it.  I knew bounce back would happen and I resolved that I would not use the fact that I wanted to gain some weight as an excuse to eat junk.  I have seen that happen time and time again and it never ends well.

I have people in my life that have never known me obese.  I have been at my job for nearly 3 years and no one there has seen me obese.  This is just my new normal.

Don't get me wrong.  I am far from cured.  I always have to be mindful of my eating.  I am an addict so there is no moderation for me.  Others can have an occasional piece of cake or cookies but for me it would never be enough.  It is easier to avoid then it is to control.

Lastly I need to thank my people here at OH.  Without support and guidance for others who are fighting the same battles as I am I know I would be back where I was in 2010, stuck at home with boxes and bags of junk food to keep me company.  

Coming here and seeing people 5, 10 and more years out lets me know it can be done.  And seeing people maintaining weight loss in the hundred of pounds is inspiring.  I know one of the many reasons I failed my first surgery is because I didn't have any support.  As soon as I started regaining I hid from everyone I knew because I was so embarrassed.  I often wonder what I was thinking then.  If I had just had people around me to kick my ass maybe it wouldn't have been a 100 lb regain.  But I am convinced that regardless of my weight I would have needed a revision to deal with the bacterial overgrowth.

Okay, enough of a book now.  Everyone enjoy their day and stick around.  If you want to someday be a vet then I suggest you start by listening to them (us?)  We have valuable help and most important experience that will help you get where you want to be and not go where you don't want to go.

Yes you are a good. 'Vet' sometimes us vets come off as harsh but we do know what works to maintain. Losing was the easy part , maintaining is a daily occurrence. I think about everything I eat. I saw a new dr yesturday that said he sees a lot of RYN patients but very few who maintained. I have kept off 144 pounds for almost 13 years. Easy ? No do able ? Yes 

Ladytazz you are a truly amazing and wonderful woman. You have gone thru a lot and come out a champion; and rather than run away from the issues, you faced the truth head on and dealt with (and continue to deal with) them!  This is a great story and I appreciate you sharing it with us.  I too am an addictive person, and super-good at losing - but holding that weight has always been a struggle.  I am thankful every single day for this tool and I am glad for this forum and the truth-telling vets more than I can say.  I do read a lot of books, educate myself, talk with doctors (who have never been obese)...but the wisdom shared here that comes of experience is turning out to be vastly more valuable.

Here's to the next five years, and your continued strength and health!  ;o)

Thanks for sharing your story, that was brave.  Congrats on getting your health back and on your awesome maintenance.

Wishing you continued success!

Daisy