Sex and EXTRA SKIN

Lets put it this way.  No one else is going to see it but your husband.  If he is ok with it, then that takes most of the stress off.  Now, I know that most of the time we don't hear what the men actually say, its what the little voice in our head thinks he is thinking.  So while he has his arms wrapped around you and is telling you that you are beautiful you will be in your head saying "he's thinking about how I'm just a melted candle".  We can destroy ourselves this way.  We have to trust what he says at some point.  :)  If you have to, or want to, eventually you can get plastics done.  If you can't or don't want to you will have to become comfortable with it, and find ways to smooth things out.  And who knows?!  You might be one of those lucky people who don't have a problem with too much left over skin.

I read this out loud to my boyfriend and he said, "No. Being able to wrap my arms around you makes up for any extra skin. Plus, you are more bendy and flexible now." So, no, he doesn't have a problem with it. We met in elementary school, but didn't see each other for many years. When we were reunited, I was heavy and he was attracted to me and fell in love with me then. I find it better now with a lot of the weight gone. He likes the flexibility very much, and the loose skin is less in the way than all that fat was. I look at myself in the mirror and see it, but he looks at my new figure and loves it. So far, I don't know if I will need plastics or not yet, but will decide after I make it to goal and maintain for awhile. Also, I don't think there has been a change in frequency at all, maybe increased if anything. 

Question for you though, why was your friend unsuccessful? Did she not make it to goal, or just not lose much at all?

You are going to feel so much better about yourself that you will accept your skin. I am only 4 months in and still have a lot of weight to lose but things, they are a hangin!!! And, that's okay with me... it is more about being able to walk more than a 100 feet without losing my breath or being able to stand for a long time. My knees don't hurt; they pop and creak alot but they don't hurt.

Also, I am assuming that you are probably younger.  Younger skin has more elasticity... you may be surprised, the skin might not be as bad as you are envisioning. And, it will be soft... lol.

So, plan on exercising and saving money for plastics, if it makes YOU feel better. 

You will be fine... as the saying goes, you're borrowing trouble. Don worry about the skin until you have the issue.

This has never been a problem for me.  My partners love me for me, they love that I want to have sex with them, they don't care if I've got flappy skin. Because "YAY SEX!"

I've worried about this too. I told myself that I would live in Spanx and cut strategic holes in them so my skin wouldn't flap and make noise during sex. When I told this to my boyfriend, he said I was crazy. He comments randomly about how he's going to miss my cheeks and all my soft parts he loves to cuddle on, but he also says how happy he is going to be when I don't die by 50 years old. I realized in the end that I am not happy with my body now (if I was I wouldn't be having the surgery) and that I'd rather think my skin is saggy (and honestly more unappealing to myself than the love of my life) than have to deal with the fact that I can't walk, sleep or play without issues breathing.

Basically, what it boils down to is that if he truly loves you, he won't even notice a lot of what you're gonna focus on. He's not going to care that you have bat wings or that your thighs sag. He's going to think how great it is that he can toss you around now and that he can try out all of those positions he's always wanted to do.

Our job is to get out of our heads and enjoy that fact that we are going to have so many more years with the people who love us. Extra skin be damned!

I know a lot more women sound off about these things.  But, I have similar thoughts and worries as a guy.  I know its not exactly the same.  For years because of my health, our sex lives suffered.  No that I have more energy and more self esteem, she is pushing me away.  She is worried that I will get "sexy" and leave her. I have reassured over and over, and that pushing me away is not the way to keep me.  I am at a loss, she wakes up angry and goes to bed angry.

I've worried about this too but my DH assures me that any man is just happy to have a naked woman and be having sex lol. Mine likes to remind me that he loved me with and without breasts (after I had a mastectomy) so he's pretty sure he can handle me with floppy skin. Really though, I think he's right. Most guys are just going to be happy to be naked with the woman they love.

I think we have all had the same thoughts I know I did. I actually went on line and looked at before and afters loose skin. I had my amazing husband look at the pictures and gave him fair warning his response was " the skin is there in one form or another" and " not a problem " It bothers me though........ my thighs mostly and I still need to lose another 50 lbs. When I get to goal weight and maintain for awhile I will reevaluate until then I will live with and count it all good.

i don't understand why we have to suffer with extra skin after the gastric bypass... why is this not included in the cost ..that your insurance should cover ...why can't we have this done and covered by our insurance ..it is a medical problem..