Funny, how something that make someone so happy destroy someone else.

I want to be and I am married tgo someone who loves me know matter what size I am. No matter how well I am. No matter what...loves me. I want and am cherished.

I hope your man figures out what his marriage and you are to him soon.

Good on you for loving yourself.

Deb T.

I think you have done a super job. 80 pounds down, and I am sure your confidence is through the roof. This is for you he will just have to understand. Personally I think he should be happy for you. The problem is with him and not you.

Thank you so much for the positive advice and encouragement. Here are answers to some of the questions.

1. No he has never abused me, he was so supportive during the process I thought he would be just as happy as I am. He works out with me and even meal plans with me.

2. I am wife #3, he was married to 2 different (smaller) women who both cheated. I guess that is where the insecurities come from.

3. When I got home last night we talked more about this and he stated that he associated faithfulness with heavier people. I told him he needs to deal with his feelings and a cheater comes in all sizes.

4. I think we should try counseling together so that he knows no matter what size I am, it does not determine who I am. Also I want to make sure our bond is rock solid.

I love this group, your comments really made me feel better yesterday. I will keep you guys posted on both my weight loss and marriage.

It is a big change for everyone. I think he will settle down but like others have said, maybe counseling would help.

Sadly some women do get very narcissistic post-op. They seek lots of attention by dressing very scantily and posting lots of selfies.

You mean like, in bikinis?  

Who in the world would do THAT?!

I agree with all the sentiments above, and hope you can get to couples counseling.

But, I want to expand on what Laura said. After reading on here for a long time, there are some trends that become clear. One of these is that there is a significant percentage of women that, after losing a large amount of weight, and getting lots of attention from men, DO go a little crazy. We've seen a lot of people start sleeping araound, a lot.

I'm not being judgemental, but I'm offering an alternative to those of you who think that, obese or thin, it doesn't change us, or our values. Maybe not. But it does affect a lot of people's behavior. Keep that in mind as your bodies change. And I'm not saying that the OP's husband has anything to worry about, but these things do happen, fairly often.

Thank you for expanding on my thoughts. Very well said. 

I'll admit I did go through a bit of this when I got to goal. I think I mainly saved my "attention-*****ing" for this website, but I know I was very obnoxious for a while. It did pass. Now I am glad I blend into the woodwork in my everyday life. I even changed jobs.

Well, I can clearly say I don't seek attention. I can't even get myself to wear a pair of shorts above my knees. When I look in the mirror I see some things have changed but to me I still see the 286 when I started. I know that sounds weird but I do. I have noticed I have a neck again without a double chin. I have noticed that my back rolls are almost completely gone. Other than those changes to me I still look like me. My size has changed a lot causing me to buy new clothes but I still see me. Is that normal?

Yes, it's completely normal to still see the "old" you. It took me over a year to see myself how others see me, and every once in a while I still slip up once in a while and still think of myself as morbidly obese.