I'm going to visit friends this weekend I haven't seen since a few weeks before my surgery. One is my best friend, everyone there knows I had surgery. I don't know WHY I'm nervous. I know they're not judging me, I know they all love me and have all been super supportive of me throughout. But I can't get this trepidation at seeing them out of my head. I'm like this with everyone I see who I haven't seen in a while. I think what if I don't look like what their expectations are of me? What if I haven't lost enough weight for them? 

But they loved me at 377 pounds so I know they'll love me right now at 310 pounds. What is wrong with me??? Am I the only one that does this? I think this way with everyone but these thoughts are particularly loud with these friends because I haven't seen them in so long and they're so supportive I guess I don't want to let them down.

I think it is perfectly normal to be nervous!  But you said it, they love you, so they will celebrate your achievements.  Just try to enjoy your time with your friends!

Nothing is wrong with you. I think it's common not to want to disappoint those closest to you.

I was actually going through the same feeling, only at the opposite end of the spectrum. When I put some weight back on, I was convinced I had let my best buds down. Two of us have had RNY, and one of the others is seriously considering it right now. I didn't want them to see me as a failure. I look back and realize I was silly. My girls could never be anything but supportive and wonderful...no matter the situation. 

You won't be letting them down. If anything, your friends will be very enthusiastic...because they want to see you to succeed and be supportive 

Have a great time!!

I was nervous too. It is double edged sword. While being nervous around your loved/close ones regarding your new looks and habits, the SECRET POWER is that soon you will be able to go incognito and avoid people you didnt like/were mean to you because they wont recognize you.

There was a guy, that I did a work committee thign with back YEARS ago. He was rather aloof/mean to me.  Needless to say, many month post-op, he was running up to me in the cafeteria, anxious to introduce himself to me.  I let him talk to me for about 10 minutes when I reminded him that I DID know him and that we HAD done a work trip together.

It was sort of fun (in a mean way. I am not always sweet!  :) ) But I could have chosen to play with "We have never met before" and he would have been none the wiser . I have done that with several people and colleagues.

I like it.

That is Mute and SkinnyScientist...flying under the radar.

Funny story - I had to make a quick stop at my son's house one day and totally forgot that my ex-husband (who had not seen me in a while) was up here for a week visiting him and the family.  So when I went in and saw him, I made small talk and left. 

My son told me that after I left, my ex-husband said "who was that?" to which my son replied "that was mom" and walked away.

I still get goose bumps of delight every time I think of that!

Now THAT was -FREAKING AWESOME!

:)

PS..you have lost 60 lbs. Why wouldnt it be enough for them?  It is a process and a lifestyle change.  It isnt  going to happen overnight. But it WILL happen and it IS happening.

Maybe you dont think it is enough because you see yourself in the mirror everyday?

To get an idea as to how much you lost, go to BJ;s and try to pick up 3 of their cat-litters (which run about 20-27 lbs each). I bet you cant lift it up. Now think, you were carrying that all over your body. You have lost so much, you cant lift it!  How can that NOT be enough!?!? IT is most certainly something.

After you have demonstrated to yourself that you can not lift 60 lbs, try stacking the 3 boxes on top of each other. Take a real good look at how much space that 60 lbs take. Circle around it a few times.  

How can that lost volume NOT be enough?

You have lost 60 lbs and you will continue to lose as long as you follow you plan and pursue your goal.

It is going to happen.

You are doing great!

Mute you are doing great!!!  You will do fine and I know your friends will love where you are going!

But Skinny, I gotta say, Wow, what a visual you painted.  Don't get me wrong I love my loss and am very proud of it, but when you verbalized it like that...Just Wow!  Very Cool visual!!

Thanks!  Actually I have done it, but I didnt come up with the idea.  In the beginning, when I had about 136 lbs to lose, losing "just" 2 or 5 lbs seemed so insignificant.  It was just 2 lbs and I had 134 more to go!  It was really disheartening.

It WAS disheartening until a friend took me to the grocery store and had me pick up and hold a 5 lb bag of potatos. With that, I got my "visual". Then that 5 lbs became, 7lbs (i.e. one big bag and one small bag). Soon, I couldnt even visualize with potatoes, I had to move on to cat litter (in bulk).

Sometimes, we look too hard at where we are going and forget to look back to where we WERE. It is good to keep forward focused and motivated but there are times when all of us need to pause and remember where we were so we can appreciate how far we have come.

Lately (like the past 4 years), at my job, they have been keeping "lists". It has always been metric focused (and still is) but i really hate the lists because once you get on one for being a "problem" in one area, you are forever remembered as a "problem."  The thing about lists is that it shows what you WERE and not what you ARE. There is a difference. People and cir****tances change over time. 

Mute is changing dramatically.  Not only does she need to appreciate how far she has to go, she also needs to acknowledge how far she has traveled.

Lol, I actually have cats and have a 28 pound cat litter bag in the closet right now so I can visualize that pretty easily. 

I am 100% positive this is completely about me and not them. My best friend is a size 0 and a complete health nut but has been so supportive of me. We met online on an online support group like this one actually, but for breast cancer. We are total opposites but exactly the same, if that makes sense. She's the one I cried to when I was sure the surgery wasn't working in the beginning. And if it didn't work I am sure she would have been supportive and told me it would be okay. She's just that person I've never had before that doesn't judge me for how I look, actually judges me for me. Gah - that makes me teary to even write. She's just a really special person and I'm underestimating her to even think she would ever be disappointed in me for any reason.

And I am really happy with where I'm at with my weight loss. I'm plugging away, feeling good with a steady trickle of losing. It's just seeing people occasionally that freaks me out. I'm a major introvert though so that usually freaks me out anyway lol!